My son won't leave the house??

Question

My son is thirteen years old and has friends. But he doesnt want any of them to come over or go over their houses. I always have to make plans for him. We always get in fights because im asking for him to meet with his friends. Please, someone help us I dont know what to do.

Answer 1

The first I would say to you is "you are the parent" you make the rules and he is suppose to follow them. Don't go down to his level by arguing with him. If he don't want to follow your rules then take away his privileges, whatever they are. You have to set the example or he will never listen to you.

Answer 2

maybe he is masturbating. around this age, teen boys tend to want to be aone so they can handle the excitement of puberty.

Answer 3

Well you can start by not asking him to meet with his friends. Why are you so insistent?  You and your son are fighting because you are trying to make him do something he does not want to do nor does he have to. He may be just asserting some independence or there could be a problem he is not sharing with you. It's not like he's not attending school or drinking, smoking or doing drugs, or is he? If he is would you know? Is his behavior something new or has he been acting this way for a while? When you say fights I believe you mean verbally. And, to always have them is a sign of disrespect. Stop that now!

How is he in school? Is he an average student or an above average student? If he were having a problem would he tell you? Have you asked him? Did he hear someone speak unkindly of you or your house? Kids can be cruel you know. Did he hear one of his friends making fun of him? Does he have normal conversations with you, mother and son? Do you allow him to voice his opinions without telling him how wrong he is? In other words mom do you listen? You don't argue with a thirteen years old. You are his mother, period! Why do you have to make plans for him? He can't make plans for himself? If not, why not? Your son sounds like an angry young man. It also sounds like you are pampering him. Are you mommy?

Something is upsetting him and he needs to talk to someone. Perhaps a cousin or a member close to his age. Or, maybe a psychologist. I know I have asked a lot of questions but maybe in one of them a light will suddenly go on and you will know exactly what to do. If not, call a professional in to help the both of you. Many parents do and it's a good thing. From one mother to another I know you can work this out with your son.

Remember to tell him how much you love him. I tell my family every day. A hug works too. All kids need that.