My sons father is unsupportive to my son and starting to scare me?

Question

i dated my son's dad for 3 years. he basically left me when my son was 3 weeks old, i guess it was just too much or something. well, my son is now 5 months old. his dad doesn't see him a whole lot, like maybe twice a week on average. he doesnt have a job at the moment so he never really buys my son too much. i think he should be SUPPORTING my son not giving a pack of diapers here and a toy there. Anyways, he has gotten really controlling with me, even though we are broken up and he never calls, he is always with friends, stuff like that. he was controlling when we went out but it has gotten really weird now. i am almost scared. he will freak if he sees a new guy friend on my myspace and even though it isnt his buisness, i am not talking to anyone or done anything with anothr guy. i seriously dont know what to do. i dont want my son to be kept from his dad but i am afraid if i p**s him off at the right/wrong moment he will snap. my mom told me it sounds scary and he is unstable. but i dont know how to handle this. should i try to talk to him so we can at least be decent around eachother for our son. even whe i say no i am not talking to anyone he doesnt believe me. what should i do so i can break away from him

Answer 1

This sounds like a delicate situation.

The bottom line is that HE left when his child was 3 weeks old and hasn't been supporting the boy. A lot of people would have cut him off completely by now,basically writing him off as a loser. It may or may not be harsh to cut him off from the son he has failed so completely this far,I'll leave that one to you. I do think you should be firm with him and tell him strongly,without belittling or threatening him,that he has given up all his rights as your boyfriend,and that it's none of his business who you see. If he persists,file a report with the police for harassment. Show him you mean business. Chances are he'll back off when he sees that.

Answer 2

Well you actually have it better than many others out there.  Twice a week is great for a father that isn't living with you, buying anything for your son is a plus considering many have to go to court to get childsupport to even get anything from them.  I understand that you feel he has changed and everything but you should be happy he is doing anything. I know plenty of woman that have exs that come around maybe once a year and only get support because the court ordered it.  When my exhusband left us he wouldn't buy a pack of diapers or wipes or nothing and seen the kids maybe once a month if that and in order for me to get any help from him the courts had to step in and sometimes he goes 6 months or longer without coming by and he doesn't buy any toys for the boys no birthday or christmas presents or even a card.