My sons said they were "touched" by an older boy and the police are not doing much....?

Question

I don't know what to do...My husband and I decided to talk to my boys (5 and 7) because of some odd behavior from them. My husband (their stepfather) and I took them into separate rooms and both talked to them asking if anyone had ever touched them in a way that made them uncomfortable...BOTH of the boys in separate rooms admited to us that there was a boy that did...and they even BOTH named the house where it happened... I called the police right away since this happened to them when they were with their dad (at one of his friends house) My oldest son said that he told his dad but that his dad didn't beleive him...my ex denies this... The boys and I went into the police station the next day and they were interviewed. The person doing talking to them admited that she had never worked with kids so young before...my ex (who doesn't want to believe this) is insisting that it isn't true. Since the boys told the lady that they didn't want to talk anymore and wouldn't open up she said that there is nothing that they can do and nothing is really being done. My ex says to just move on from it...but I want to get the bottom of it...they will still SEE this boy (who my ex NAMED to the police and me) I just don't know what to do!

Answer 1

You have t be the backbone here for your kids, period , I would get them into a child psychiatrist that works with sexual abuse cases. These babies are to young to be coming up with this on their own , if dad isn't on board maybe you can get an order to have supervised visitation till  you do get to the bottom of it .Nothing is more important the protecting the innocents of a child . Look into some of the abuse shelters around your area they have people trained in all forms of abuse and they my have outlets you can use to help you. The police do not take abuse seriously until it is a crime these shelters do .  

Answer 2

wow how do you keep your cool  id go round there house little perv  

Answer 3

i work at a school and the same thing happened to me with a kid he said he was gettin touched by his older sister's bf and i went and called the police and when they came and interviewed him about it he wouldnt open up and said they couldnt do anything about it without having it come straight out of his mouth. it's a sh*tty situation but the only thing you can really do is try your hardest to keep them away from this other kid or get a restraining order since the cops can't do much about it without having the child tell them what happened  

Answer 4

talk to the boys and let them know that its okay to talk to the person. just let them know that nothing will happen to them if they admit to it. im sorry about your kids. please go to court and get full custody of them. your ex is obviously not doing a very good job at it.

Answer 5

call childrens services. they will send someone out to your house and talk with the kids and then if that doesnt work then you can go to a child psychologist that childrens services recomends and they can work the answers out of them without the kids even knowing it.

sadly...my son was molested and i didnt call the police right away beings i didnt want to falsely accuse anyone (i only have the one child this happened to...so i didnt know what to think) so i called childrens services and this is what they did. from there once you have a case...you can move forward with this. but dont give up if you feel something happened. your ex is in denial probably and feels its his fault since they were in his care

im sorry this is going on...there is no pain like it

Answer 6

First I think you need to find some one who is trained in dealing with kids this age to talk to them ,what I know of kids this age is that they sometimes lie ...nowdon'tt think I mean about what happened ,they would not make it up BUT some times they are so scared to tell the truth they will name another child...If the boy they have named is young ,it could be a harmless case ofexperimentation but it could also be that the kids feel safer blaming this kid rather than the real perp. who they are scared of .......so go carefully it could be a grown up abusing them...If your ex wont protect the kids and listen to them and is going to continue to take them somewhere unsafe then he is a danger himself ...he needs to take this seriously ...

Answer 7

I must say that I agree to everything that has been said to this point.  I would also contact the local childrens and family services so they are aware of what happened at your ex-husbands house.  This will give you more power to get an order of protection for you beautiful boys that you love so much and keep them out of harms way.  I was abused from the age of 4-12 and didn't tell anyone...  on a summer vacation to visit my sisters they figured something was wrong and talked to me until I opened up.  I would not talk to police or investigators but my mother did many of the things listed in these answers.  With the protection order (even though it was out of state) and knowing I would no longer have to see him (because of the order of protection and restraining order). I was able to see a therapist and open up and eventually I was able to speak to the police about what happened.  Unfortunately you can never take back what happened and they will remember it for the rest of their lives, but you can surely make everything easier for them and yourself by following through with many of the suggestions listed in these answers.

Good luck, I hope this helps and I strongly suggest you make an appointment right away for your children to see a therapist specializing in these circumstances.

Answer 8

First of all your doing a great job. Second, get a protection order against their dad, i know it wasn't him but he is going to put them in harms way and needs to know that this is serious. Wouldn't you just feel bad if you let the two boys go with their dad and he knew the whole time and it happened again? I would NEVER let my kids be touched! You need to sit the boys down and tell them why they need to tell the police stuff. Like that this can happen to other lil boys and girls and what if they are scared too? That they can be "Hero's". Do whatever you can to have them tell the police. I know this sounds bad but give them something they want or whatever. I am sure of this....The person that did this threatened them that if they said something that something would happen, I can see that happening. You need to go to the police station and tell them the name and address of the person they will bring the person in for talking. You need the boys to open up, this is the only hope, PLEASE don't let them go anywhere near that person, the dad can come to your house but if he knows or ddoesn'tbelieve them then this can get worse. Just remember you are doing a great job and i hope that i can be as good as a mom as you are. Good Luck, your boys will be in my prayers.

Answer 9

If it is a boy who touched your sons you should go talk to that boys parents.  For that boy to be doing it means he is probably being molested as well.  If the parents do not do anything call social services

Answer 10

I'm assuming you are American .  Call the state police they will be more likely to follow up ... You can also get an attorney and force the police to follow up ... no one wants to get sued if something really bad happens because this was pushed under the rug ... If I couldn't get action .. I would also contact local newspaper , tv station .  

  If this kid is touching little boys now ... what might he do next?...

  You can also contact department of children's services... they may also have an interest in this .... Do your best , the toucher could become very dangerous as he becomes older.

Answer 11

Immediately ask for the supervisor of the police officer you talked with.  Make sure they know you want action.  Make sure the police visit the person that did this.  Get both of your kids into counseling A.S.A.P.!  Don't let your ex be the judge of this.  It will damage your sons even more if their dad doesn't believe them.

I'm so sorry that this has happened!  You also might want to consider bringing a civil lawsuit against the person that did this.

Best wishes

Answer 12

Your sons need to tell the police the name of the person who did this. And it may be uncomfortable for them but, they will probably have to go in depth with what happened in order for the police to press any charges.

Answer 13

Try contacting a local sexual assault counsellor they may be able to advise you on what to do next. Or perhaps your local DOCs or DHS could help. Or perhaps even contact a lawyer and go for full custody if your ex is willing to put them at risk again