My sons school wants to hold him back in 1st grade unless I send him to summer school?

Question

They say that he is emotionally/socially not ready for 2nd grade. He like freaks out if there's anything different in their daily schedule like programs in the gym or if they go outside for pe instead of inside. They also suggested counseling, but he's always been really shy & timid. What would you do in this situation?

Answer 1

i would definitely let him go to summer school, cause i here kids now saying my parents held me back a grade and they are embarrassed.

and he can get school done faster so PLEASE let him go to summer school!

or actually you may want to pray about it =]

: )

Answer 2

He's probably going to be relieved to know that he's being offered some extra time to catch up to the class over the summer.  I'm sure he hates that panicked, freaking out feeling that he gets.  

Just let him know that the teachers think it's a good idea if he spends a little more time this summer getting used to how things work in school, so that it will all be easier for him next year.  

Summer school programs don't usually last for the entire summer.  They're usually 6 weeks or so.  He'll still have some nice relaxing time off, too (which will be good for his psyche as well).

Answer 3

if he is not ready emotionally and socially then hold him back. It will only get worse not better.

Answer 4

Summer school and consueling you may be ready for you child to move forward but may be your child is not. Lots of kids have trouble adjusting to changes when they are young so put him in summer school and hope for the best.

Answer 5

I  would take my  child to a child  evaluation..( there shold be a hosp.. Scottish Rite) they help kids with all kinds of problems health, mentally.. --- they do testing.. check in ur town or city..

and get  documentation.. and tell them..... that he has been tested.. and  prove that he is OK..

other wise..

      I have heard they can test him.. and if he doesn't make the grade or pass the test.. he will be held back.. !

I no it is hard  for u and Ur child.. but in the long run.. maybe it is best for now..

if they hold him back rather than later...

      the older he gets the harder on the child..

give it some thought..

he can always go to summer school later, and make up for lost time.. he will be older and better able to handle everything.. and perhaps not so shy  etc..

good luck.

Answer 6

what you need to do is have a consult with your child's dr immediately because this is not normal behavior.  I don't know where the anxiety is coming from but there are different reasons....children with autism thrive on routine and hate change.  I'm not saying your child has a disability, but a dr needs to assess your son and take proper action.  I dont think summer school will cure an anxiety problem like this.  After talking to your dr, make a plan and discuss it with the school counselor

Answer 7

At the school my son attends when he completed kindy and went to move onto prep the school suggested to me to keep him back - i did and its been the best thing i could have done.  There were four other parents who were told the same but they pushed their children though and now those children are really struggling to cope with the schoolwork etc... So looks like they will be kept back in older grades because they will continue to struggle.  They are young enough at that age to easily make friends in the next class and if your son is struggling with things, it might not hurt him to repeat the year.  Im from Australia and we dont have a 'summer school' so i can't comment on that option sorry...

Answer 8

Hi, Sweetie!

(Wow, you're having a real time, aren't you...?)

I'd send him to counseling for sure. I know you said he's always been this way.. shy and timid... but maybe there's more than his "nature" happening here?

Also, "shy" and "timid" are not fun traits, if they're yours.

Maybe the counselor could help you to help him overcome a lot of it.  (And maybe learn what -if anything- is behind it.)

Boys, especially, are sort of REQUIRED to be fearless and outgoing. Survival is sooo much easier.

(Children are little savages. The younger, the more savage. Until high school, of course...)

If he goes to summer school; without the counseling; do they think he'll be "ready" (emotionally) for 2nd grade?

I'd send him to both, Kiddo. I would.

Summer school is only -what- 9 weeks? (I don't really know, any more.)

At his age, he doesn't know what is "usual", does he? (I know he has older sibs.)

I know about half-a-million people who went to summer school, for various reasons, and they LOVED it.

(Once they were there.)

It's all they talked about the next year, until Christmas vacation! Honest.

Tell him, if you decide to send him to summer school, that it

is to help him have more fun next year. This is true.

(What will you tell him if he repeats the first grade?)

Whether he goes to summer school or not, I really think the counseling is a good idea.

Good luck, Sweetie. }:>

Answer 9

To be honest with you, I'd seriously consider getting some counseling.  The reason I'm saying that is because you mentioned he freaks out if anything is different in the schedule--that's not a good sign.  The shyness and timidity kinda furthers my belief that something might not be right.  But then again, you are his parent, and you know him best.  If you don't think counseling is right, then don't do it.  However, if it were me, I'd at least get him evaluated.  Couldn't hurt.

Answer 10

that sucks.. my son will be in first grade next year and they are home bounding him now, because he has A.D.H.D. and can not sit still in class.. i feel so sorry for him..  he is a very smart boy though.. they did tests on him and he is in kindergarten and he is doing third grade reading right now..  

i would put him in counseling.. as bad as it sounds, its not, and maybe he will break out of his shell a little...  my son really is not socially ready for 1st grade.. and i dont know what they are going to do, because if he doesnt calm down a little.. it will be homebound again.. and they sad thing is.. i sent him to preschool for two years to get him ready for school.. now he is used to being home and i dont think he even wants to go.. and he is going to be going to summer school, also to get him ready for school...

they told me that they cant make him go to summer school, but it would be a good thing for him.. so i will give it a try... but i dont think they can make him, they will just not put him in the next grade..  and also, they told me that if he has to miss a few days, it wont matter, because it doesnt count like real school does... so thats a good thing..

Answer 11

the only reason I would see that they could hold him for summer school would be just for keeping things on a routine and schedule. and if your child is 'freaking' over a change in his routine then why havent they accomadated for this.

of course I would nt expect a parent to know the details of dealing with children with special needs which makes me all the more frustrated at this situation.

if you have a child in your room that has needs then you make thier learning life easier by adapting your day.

they could be useing a pic schedule with him so that he knows whats going to happen and on what day or some other schedule. but if his acedemics arent suffering then there is no reason for him to go unless there will be more trouble than its worth for him to adjust starting back to school.

I dont think he needs counseling but you do need to have him evaluated and tested.

good luck to you!!!

Answer 12

Do so, his upward move with his classmates are more important than your vacation.  A mother who is a teacher would not ask such a question.

Answer 13

it might be a good idea to hold him back when he's young so he doesn't fail when he's older and gets attached to the kids he's around. he's still young he can still adjust. I was supposed to be held back but my family pushed me ahead and I'm doing good so when it was my brother they pushed him ahead but he's not doing so well he get ts really frustrated and sometimes i don't think he can handle it.

Answer 14

I would listen to the schools advice and go for it. Difficult for you both I am sure, but this extra schooling has got to be a positive move and it will only be say, a month out of his life?  

This is his chance to catch up with his mates (surely he would be very upset about being held back). Maybe he would be able to build up his confidence in summer school.

Counseling works great for many people, why not let your son try it?, you could always stop it if it doesn't suit him.

Good luck to you both, I hope it all works out.

Answer 15

Holding him back is worse than sending him to summer school. He will hate it/you later on if you hold him back. So, do both counseling and summer school. It is best for your child.

Answer 16

its ok to go to summer school, and its ok also to be left back in the same grade that will make him feel more secure when he see everybody in his class younger than him

Answer 17

How long does your summer school last?  In our area, we have summer school for 2 weeks.

It is astonishing to me that they can learn in 2 weeks what they were unable to learn in 9 months of regular school.  If they were efficient, they would use the summer school method of teaching during the school year and do several years of learning in one year.  

Ask some questions from your school.  What will they do that will make the amazing difference in few short weeks of summer?  If it is the same thing that was done during the school year, just tell them that you prefer your son to be promoted with his class.   He will mature at his pace and not at the pace the government says that he should mature.

Answer 18

Ah, this is the BIG change....from 1st to 2nd grade.  Now they are reading to learn instead of learning to read....so it's a very drastic difference.  Did they say why summer school is necessary?  Would it be to prepare him for 2nd grade....preteaching the skills?  

Well, you asked what we would do in this situation....I guess I would exhaust all my options...and really demand what needed to be done and what would be done in summer school.  Kids that young typically won't protest too much to summer school, but when they get older they do resist more.  If your son needs it, I'd say let him go BUT only when you know exactly why he needs it and what they are exactly going to do to prepare him for second grade.  

Your son may also have OCD where anything in the routine throws him into a downward spiral.  It's not a bad thing and nothing to be embarrassed about either!  He just likes things the way he expects them and that's okay.  He may need some counseling and if he is willing to go, I'd say go for it.  The elementary school counselors in my building are the best around...and they make therapy sessions fun so the kids really look forward to coming down.  I'm hoping your district has enthusiastic counselors on hand.  

Good luck and keep us posted!

Answer 19

I would do what they school reccomends.  They know what is best.  Don't try and send your child up to the next grade when he is not ready.  It will just be harder on him.

Answer 20

Did they also suggest testing for PDD....that is what the school said to my boyfriend about his 6 year old son. They want him held back in 1st grade next year because of emotional and social issues.  He is already in councling and was diagnosed with Bipolar and ADHD but now they suspect possible Aspergers or a PDD.  I would just check into the councling and see what the councler says.  Some children are just shy but some do have social disorders that they need to overcome so it is worth talking to the councler about and see what they say.

Answer 21

I suggest the summer school and counseling.  Him being shy and timid isn't bad, but a professional might be able to help him to feel more comfortable.  If you hold him back, it will be a stigma that will follow him through his childhood.

Answer 22

I would put my child into summer school.   I wouldn't feel bad about having to "break it" to my child that she needed summer school, afterall it is to help HER make a transition into another grade and sometimes that just isn't easy for a child.  Why do you have a problem of helping your child become a better student?  They can't MAKE you send him to summer school and they can't forcibly hold him back.  But eventually his behavior in school and his acedemic profile will suffer and he could wind up flunking out of high school in the end, is this what you want for your child?  Would you want your child to be struggling through school for the next ten years?

Answer 23

Does he have academic issues, as well? I don't really see how summer school is going to help with his emotional issues.  If that's the only issue, and if it's enough that the teacher is concerned, I'd recommend that you go talk to the school counselor and see what the counselor thinks, and ask if and how exactly the counselor believes counseling (or summer school, though that seems pointless to me if it's just an emotional issue) might help your son.

If he's doing well academically, I'd certainly resist having him be held back.  There's not that much of a difference in the scheduling in first and second grade, so he's likely to have just the same problems in either grade, and there's no point having him being bored academically on top of having transition issues.

If he's struggling academically as well, then I'd certainly let him do the summer school.  There's no need for him to see it as a punishment ... let him know it's just to help him have an easier year next year.