My sons teacher says he is ADHD, and his doctor says he's not. Now what do I do?

Question

My sons teacher insists that he is ADHD, she says that he is always day dreaming. He is not disrespectfull, he does not disrupt his class, he has none of the signs that I can see of having this. My daughters have learning disabilities (short term memory problems), and I had them test him also. According to the testing he does not have a learning disability. I have put up with the school calling me, and writing me, basically telling me that I need to have him put on med's. I talked with our pediatrician, and gave him the psychological report done on my son, he too does not believe that my son is ADHD. I think my son is slightly immature for his age, and I also am taking in to consideration the fact that my son was hit by a car last year, and missed the last 3 months of school. They placed him in 3rd grade this year, although I think they probaly should have held him back. It seems they are more concerned about their school performance. Even my son is frustrated. Help!

Answer 1

get in touch with the brain injusry association-it is common for children who seem to have completely recoverd to exhibit problems like you have described-even if it was only a minor head injury-he didn't have to actually hit his head to have a head injury-I had 2 just by the force on the rest of my body causing my brain to bounce around........

Answer 2

take it from me, a mother of a child who has adhd, your son doesn't have adhd.   ADHD is basically when a child is distracted easily, constantly fidgeting, can't focus at the task at hand.   You need to talk the principal about this teacher, and bring the psychological report with you.  

There is no meds for daydreaming.    If anything, because he was hit by a car, maybe he should talk to someone about the experience and what's going through his head about that accident, since its a traumatic experience (and daydreaming is his way of coping)

Answer 3

I daydreamed all the way through high school and college.  It never affected me....

Answer 4

i have a son that is adhd.. behavior isnt always a big part of it... there is 3 types of adhd. you would have to really look up adhd to see the 3 different types... but you said your child was hit by a car last year. you can take your child to be tested for adhd again but your his mother and  you sound like your a good mom. hes been tested and came back as a no... i would have a school meeting with  all teachers and principles and see if they can get him extra help.  maybe he isnt caught up with the rest of class and is daydream cause he has no clue what to be doing in the class... make sure your son is part of this. talk to him and ask him what he thinks the problem is. you might be surprise when he tells you. be sure you tell him that when it comes to adults you have to speak up for him so you need his input on whats wrong.

Answer 5

No one at school is trained or qualified to diagnose ADHD or any other type of problem.  Tell them this and state that until they are you do not want to discuss it.

AND, it is ILLEGAL by FEDERAL law for schools to even MENTION meds to parents.

Print this out and give it to them, that will shut them up.

It is up to you and the doctor, schools should keep their nose out of it.

http://thomas.loc.gov/cgi-bin/query/D?c1...

If you can't open this, it's called 'child safety medication act of 2003' and you can search for it.

If you really want him to get help thru special ed,  there is more you can do. Write to the district sped director and request 'an independent educational evaluation by public expense becuase I disagree with the districts evaluaiton, as specified by IDEA law'.

YOu have to use these exact words and you have to ask for this in writing.

The school will pay for another eval that YOU choose the dr. to do it. This way the eval won't be rigged or biased toward the school, like they usually are.

Then, you and the school will meet to determine if child can qualify for special ed by using the results of this new eval.

I bet the school didnt' tell you this, did they?

Nah, they never do.

Answer 6

As a Special Education teacher myself, I can tell you that a teacher can NOT diagnose ADHD.  It is a medical diagnosis and MUST come from a medical doctor.  The school can not insist your son be medicated, and if what you say is even HALF true, I think they have some nerve recommending it.  (A third grader who daydreams?  Heaven forbid!!  Please...)  

As a parent, you have a right to request that your son be retained (and it seems, from all you say, that he is a prime candidate for retention and that it may be just the thing for him).  

Please bear in mind, I have no personal knowledge of your son, nor do I know the state laws where you live, but it seems to me that this would be your best course of action.  See if your district has a SEPTA chapter (Special Education Parent-Teacher Association).  These would probably be the people best equipped to help you, and they may be able to provide you with a parent advocate to attend any meetings with you to be sure your rights, and your son's, are not violated.

A CTT (Collaborative Team Teaching)/Inclusion class with a general ed teacher AND a special ed teacher may be something else worth looking into.  

GOOD LUCK!!!

Answer 7

maybe administration can help. maybe a new school

Answer 8

My heart goes out to you.  I'm afraid my opinion would not be a very nice one concerning the state of the education system, and I don't have much respect for most teachers. (Sorry)  I have raised 4 beautiful intelligent children.  2 have graduated from universities, and the other 2 are still in.  My daughter is in her third year, and my youngest son just began.  I personally dealt with a couple of teachers and administrators trying to tell me my children were adhd, which I knew good and well they were not.  My solution:  I homeschooled each child for about 3, 4, or 5 years, depending on what I felt was best for that child.  Anyway, I allowed them to go to public highschool, and they all did incredibly well.  They were embraced as well-behaved outstanding students, and they also participated in both sports and music programs.  I got the idea from many different families who did the same thing.  One mom was a surgical RN who had 7 children, and gave me the idea.  Look for a homeschooling support group in your area, and they will guide you on how to get started.  Remember this:  You've always heard the expression that it takes a village to raise a child, but I say it is the same village that has destroyed even more children!  Good Luck!

Answer 9

Contact the school system's special education director.  S/he will is keenly aware of what trouble school staff members can get in by continuing to suggest this sort of thing.  They are not legally authorized to make a diagnosis.  The director will this issue come to an end!

Answer 10

listen, teachers, have no idea what theyre talking about. teachers always pick there fav student and then try to pick on the kids. everyone has a little add or adhd its just part of life.

God bless!

Answer 11

I agree with the person who said they don't have a lot of respect for most teachers....that's why I became a teacher!  

Your son's teacher has absolutely NO right to say that your son is ADHD!  In the school's defense, they have to be concerned about school performance because that's how they get their funding.....I don't agree with it either....call your state representative about that issue because the decision was not made by an educator.  

Sorry...back to your son...are you planning to retain him this year?  How are his grades?  Have you observed his class?  Did he suffer head trauma in the accident?

If his grades are poor, you may consider a private tutor (not a place like Sylvin, they have a terrible reputation) or perhaps retention would be good so that he could start fresh next year.

Could it be that his teacher is just not making enough of an effort?  In my state, regular ed. has to modifiy instruction, even for students who do not qualify for special ed.  Could he get a behavior plan to address his trouble focusing?  I can't believe that nothing has been done (by the school) and it's almost March!

The most important thing is not to let your son get too frustrated!  A bad year can turn a child off to school and that would really be a shame.

I think someone else suggested a parental advocate...you may want to look into that as well.

Good luck!

Answer 12

Tell the teacher it is your choice whether to go on medicines!!! they are a big thing, especially if the are to be taken everyday for something not urgent like ADHD.  It might be that her lessons are just boing or he is tired, like any other child.  You don't automatically have to go for the medicines

Answer 13

It is not legal for a teacher or a school to tell you that your child had ADHD.  That is a medical diagnosis.  If the school is insisting you put your child on meds, that is also illegal.  No one can be forced on meds.

I would recommend investigating through your physician the possibility of a traumatic brain injury.  This happens after a serious accident involving a head injury and can be grounds for qualification to SPED under IDEA.  Many behaviors change after a major accident and this could be a cause for the change in your son's progress at school.  

Good luck!!

Answer 14

Hi there! You are in a situation where your son's teacher is BREAKING THE LAW! She is not, under any circumstances, allowed to diagnose your child and she is not allowed to tell you that your child needs meds.  There are really strict laws about this and you have grounds for a formal complaint and possibly a lawsuit.  You should take that to your son's principal and let them know what is happening.  

Short of taking you to court for educational or medical neglect they cannot attempt to force you to give your son meds, (and that is such a rare thing to have happen and will not happen in this case)and since there is not MEDICAL evidence that he is ADHD they are in the wrong and have no grounds for such a suit.

Answer 15

Has your son been through the intervention process at school? Schools have intervention teams that are made up of individuals such as special and regular education teachers, principals, school psychs., counselors, speech and lang pathologists, etc.. Their job is to target specific problems with interventions designed to help with the presenting issue. Before a school tests for learning or behavioral deficits these interventions are to be tried and documented. Did they only test for added at school or was it a full blown psychological report? Not to doubt your pediatrician but a second opinion from a psychologist with no prior knowledge of your son would probably be your best bet for an unbiased view.

Answer 16

Can you get him a different teacher or into a different school?  That's what I'd do.  If not, speak with someone higher up (the principal or the school superintendent).  Sometimes you have to be a strong advocate for your child and it's not about being the nicest parent in the neighborhood.  Be respectful, but be strong.

Answer 17

Teachers are not qualified to make a diagnosis-- of anything. Professionals who are qualified to make an ADHD diagnosis are psychiatrists, pediatricians, neurologists, and psychologists. Period.

Daydreaming is NOT a symptom of ADHD; maybe ADD, but not ADHD (which has hyperactivity associated with it).

I daydreamed throughout school, too, but I wasn't ADD, either; I was bored to tears and coped by staring out the window. I got poor grades because I didn't do the boring, average work that was put in front of me. My teachers caught on quickly and moved me to the front row in the class and gave me work that was more appropriate for my mental age.

If your son didn't have a brain injury (which can also affect attention), he's probably bored, too.

Request an evaluation (in writing) by the district psychologist, who should be able to get to the bottom of this.

Answer 18

His teacher can not tell you to put your child on meds.  They do not have the right to diagnos a child.  You can call a meeting with the principle, school psychologist, teacher etc and show them your report from a PROFESSIONAL.  If you do not feel comfortible doing this on your own contact a parent advocate in your area.  That person will know the rules that teachers must follow.

Answer 19

Have you talked to the school board?  We have 2 boys who are ADHD, and they did testing at the school board.

I have seen teachers who just want them medicated!  One said, if Jesse had just a little more ADHD med he would be OK.  I was not a happy person hearing that!

Answer 20

my sons teach said the samething. that my son was day dreaming. they believe he is suffering from blank sesures. my pediatrician refurred me to a pediatric nurologist and we have an appointment for a eeg. that monitors the brain waves, and detects if there are any seisures happening. now with that said this does not link him ti adhd. my son does have pdd-nos, but the pediatrician said that the two are not related medically. i hope this helps. kep fighting remember he is your son and the final decisions are your, oh and always get everything in writing.  kit-kat