My soon to be Ex thinks its going to be easy on her own, is it just a bluff???

Question

My wife and I separated a year ago, I recently moved back in with her and I have decided to move out of state, we have three boys, and she is not working, she is claiming that she will be able to date and go out, I thinking to myself is she nuts??? She has three boys, 2 dogs and a cat and no job, and she thinks its going to be easy "once I get the routine" I didn't want the divorce, I have been taking care of the boys all summer, now I am not the kind of husband or father that was not hands on, I do the dishes, laundry, cleaning (bathrooms too) and cook, why is she leaving you ask? She has never given me a straight answer. she is very selfish even though she does not think so, I tried very hard the last 8 years to make it work, and she always would be unhappy and discontent.

Leaving out of state is something I wanted to do when we met, she entertained the idea, but then we had our first son, and there go my dreams. She wanted to stay close to her family, which she does not even talk to anymore due to a money matter from the last few years, whole another story.

Therefore, she seems to think that she is going to be this swinging 36 year old gal, with 3 kids and its going to be easy,

Any input????

Answer 1

She obviously thinks anything is better than being with you OR she already has someone else that she is serious about but is not telling you.  

Answer 2

Ultimately, it really doesn't matter.  Of course it's not easy to be a divorced mother.  I'm divorced with 2 kids, 4 cats and a fish and have a great career.  It's still not easy.  She'll learn through experience and is probably just talking smack right now.  I would, however, recommend that you remain in-state if it's at all possible.  It's simply not possible to maintain a close relationship with your kids if you're not able to see them often.  Ideally, you should remain in-state and push for shared custody so you can spend equal time with your children.

Answer 3

she could be bluffing, or she could just be delusional.  the thing is...it doesn't matter.  she soon will not be your concern anymore, but the kids will.  it sounds like you are still in love with her.  the problem is, that she doesn't seem to love you.  you will have to live with that.  it sounds to me like she has someone else, and you just don't know about it.  i would try your best to move on, as you have already spent 8 years trying to make this woman "see the light".  guess what, she doesn't want to.  at least, she doesn't want to see your light, and she doesn't have to.  i think that you will both be happier without each other.