My soon to be husband wants to adopt my 7 year old son.?

Question

I have a wonderful 7 year old son. His biological father abandoned him when he was almost 2 years old. He hasn't seen him in about 5 years. The last time I spoke with him was right after our divorce was final. I asked when he was going to visit with our child. His answer was: "I don't want to, tell him that I'm dead." I've never relayed that message. When my son used to ask where his Dad was I was only able to say: "I don't know where he is, but I know that he loves you very much." because I didn't know what else to say. He stopped asking after a few months. Now, five years later my soon to be husband would like to adopt him. I am in New York State. What do I need to do in order to make this go smoothly and without any protests from biological father? I just don't want anything to go wrong with this. My child deserves a loving Father and role model.. my sweetheart wants to give him that.

Answer 1

Birth father will probably have to sign his rights away.

Answer 2

First of all, how wonderful for you and your son! This situation sounds like a "happily ever after" for everyone involved, including the selfish biological deadbeat.

I don't know what the adoption laws are for NY, or for these particular circumstances since your son is not in foster care or in state custody.

However, I tried to do a search and came up with another woman  who posted a question nearly identical to yours. The person who answered it is a CA attorney who specializes in family law and mediation. For the least hassle, he recommends seeking consent from the biological father, either directly or through legal counsel. If you think there will be a fight, he recommends consulting with an attorney. Maybe he can refer you to someone in NY? Either way, hopefully this article will help you, as the woman specifically asked where she should start with the exact process you're ready to get the ball rolling on. At the end of the article, there's a form you can fill out where you specify your ZIP code and other details, such as whether you're legally divorced or if Deadbeat has supported the child. This should definitely lead you to some NY-specific information regarding your circumstances.

I don't know enough about adoption laws to advise anyone, but I thought your question was very heartwarming and I wanted to wish all 3 of you the best life together! In today's society of downward spiraling moral values, kudos to you for finding a real man who wants to pick up the slack of a deadbeat just so he can love your child as if he was his own!  

Although warm wishes are often appreciated, I also didn't want my answer to be completely useless so here is the link to the article; I hope it helps you get started!

http://www.dearesq.com/my-fiance-wants-t...

Answer 3

I have no idea, but just wanted to say you are one lucky lady-sounds like you have a great guy!  Best wishes to you in your new marriage.  Hope you get your answer and everything goes smoothly with the adoption.  :-)