My step daughter is 14 and wants my husband to choose (her or me) HELP!?

Question

she is being raised by my husbands mother(who hates me), and has been fed lies her whole life about her father... she lived with us for 6 months and then went back to grandma and now thinks that we kidnaped her... long story but she and i get along when she wants something and we give it to her but as soon as we say no to something I am the cause for all the heartach in her life... HELP

Answer 1

i under stand both points of view, i am 14 too and i have experienced allot through my life and i know for a fact if ur trying to be friends with her try to be a mom to her if ur trying to be a mom to her try and be and friend to her then gradually become her mom and if none of that works then there just might not be anything that u can do u might just have to fight it through and let her get close to u.

Answer 2

Welcome to the step/parent/child drama train!  The express to h**l, well for at least 4 years or until she gets her head out of her deep dark smelly place (her a$$) which will most likely be never, your in for it!  My suggestion is stop giving that little spoiled brat (Bi*0tch) anything ever again! If she is going to have that attitude whenever she doesn't get her way you just wait it will get worse.  I have a former colleague who's step daughter claimed that first she (my former colleague) touched or hit her, then it was the Dad, well CPS was brought in and found everything to be lies and recommended to the Biological mom that she take the daughter to counseling.  Well that is the occupation of my former colleague a school crisis Counselor and she herself to the Dad and the biological mom that the daughter needed that in the first place! One suggestion I have is to sit with her and explain the ground rules how she is expected to behave from this day forward and the rewards and consequences, you and your partnar need to figure out exactly what those will all be ahead of time and be consistent the second you waver you've ruined and undermind all you've accomplished from you begin putting into place this discipline!  She's 14 again it is only going to get worse before it gets better!  Best of luck to you all when that happens, I really don't know what else to say other than if your husband even entertains the thought of leaving you for her he is a fool! Keep me posted please!

Guy

Answer 3

Let me tell you, a 14-year-old girl is one of the most difficult creatures on the face of the earth. Even their birth mothers have a hard time liking them. But, I'll tell you a secret: As miserable as you are right now, she's ten times as miserable. Just love her as much as you can and hang on tight, because this is rock bottom, and things only improve from here on out. When you have a hard time loving her, just remember she's part of your husband.