My step kids are fast to borrow and slow to repay?

Question

How do I get £600 borrowed in January back from my step son? He's 21 ans in full time employment. We had a massive rowover money, a £400 phone bill he refused to pay and never has paid. He moved to his Dad's. My wife and I arte reluctant to force the issue as he can be unpredictable.

Answer 1

Take him to a small claims court? Or just chalk it up to experience and dont lend him money again. He's employed so he needs to learn to live within his means. Is there any point in talking to his dad and getting him to try and get the money back?

Answer 2

I think the important word here is

'step',obviously you have tried hard

to get the 'step' on your side, but

it does not seem to work right ?.

Wait & wait,he WILL come again !.

When he asks for your help again,

say NO,you seem a nice guy.

Maybe speak to his Dad ?,

or is he a chip off the block ?.

Answer 3

Don't let him borrow any more ever again and no wonder he does what he wants if you don't even confront him about it.

Answer 4

Unless you have proof you may have lost it.   Make no further loans in that direction!!!   (Unless you are prepared for it to be a gift)

Answer 5

Then perhaps it's time for you to be slow to lend and quick to demand repayment.

Did he ask to borrow the money, or did you just pay the bill for him?  Did he ask it as a gift, or as a loan with a distinct promise to repay?  Unless he specifically asked for the money and promised to repay it, then you should just write this off as an ill-judged gift.  If he did promise, then firmly but politely remind him of his promise, and give him a specific duedate for repayment (for example, September 1).  

Don't let his "unpredictability" deter you from stating your rights.  He needs to learn to honor his commitments, not to simply bully his way out of them.

Answer 6

No one can borrow from you if you don't lend.

At 21 he should be responsible for his own finances and financial problems.  Let him go.  

Stop enabling him.  That is only hurting him.

Answer 7

Be happy he moved to his dads.

Ask for the money, (don't demand, just ask......), then just drop it.

Make sure he understands you expect to be paid, if he argues or says he doesn't owe the money, sit down with him and explain your position.

At that point, he's established himself as a bad credit risk.  I know you, (especially his mom), care for him and love him, and want the best for him, but giving him any material thing is going to further entrench the idea that the world owes him a living.

Be thankful it wasn't 6000....or 60,000, learn from your experience.

Mom could give dad a heads up, (why let him get away from stealing from both his parents?), depending on how they get along.

Luck

Answer 8

This is a very difficult situation. Your wife loves her son, without question and unconditionally. She loves you in a different way. She may have feelings of guilt over the way her son left the house. Did you 'engineer' his exit? Men do this to get rid of troublesome step children. To her the £1,000, which is the total owed, is payback for his leaving. It sounds like you control the family finances and maybe she is not up to speed with the hole left by the missing grand. Do not involve his father. It's your family, don't let him in. Keep a low profile, mention the cash occasionally to your wife and discuss your future strategy, will you loan him any more money? I would suggest he should not get another loan until this one has been paid off. Forget the phone bill, that's the price you paid to get him out of the house. I would also suspect he was difficult a long time before all this started and there is a history here you have not disclosed. If that is the case it is essential to keep your wife on side. Her unconditional love does not extend to you.