Question:

My stepdaughter, 9, still uses baby talk. Her dad says to use "big girl" talk. She's 9! How do we stop this?

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At 9 it seems like the baby talk should be long gone and we shouldn't have to ask her to use "big girl" talk - that seems like we're talking baby talk right back to her. My husband doesn't seem too concerned, but she speaks this way to other adults in public. He allows her to talk this way, however I teach 4th grade and I would never allow one of my students to speak that way! How do we address this and how do I help my husband understand that this is inappropriate? Am I being too critical? She's 9!

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  1. Ignore her when she is talking baby talk. When she really wants you to acknowledge her she will talk like a 9 year old should.


  2. Like the other answerers suggested, ignore the baby talk. If she doesn't seem to figure out why you're not responding, tell her that she is nine years old right now, and will be treated like a grown up. In return, she will have to act like a grown up, or else you and her dad will not let her use "big- girl privileges". (i.e. computer, television, etc;) If she is seriously having a problem using more advanced vocabulary, play those little vocabulary and language game. Of course, this may seem a little childish for a nine year old, but if she really can't communicate as her peers do, then this will help, even if a little. At the very most, see her doctor and ask what he/she recommends for her. Don't treat these sort of issues as "just a phase" because your child will react to that and think that it's OK, since you don't say anything about it. Good luck!

  3. She's probably doing it to get attention...if her dad is allowing it and you're not then she is just being a brat. Ignore her and hopefully she will stop.

  4. At 9, you would think the reactions of other kids would make her stop.  I guess at home I would not acknowledge what she is saying until it is in her normal voice.  Just like what you would do for manners- if you're not using them, then you get no response.  Eventually she'll start using regular talking at home and I think it would rub off and happen other times too.  Maybe talk to her teacher too to see if she's doing it in class and enlist her help.  But, really middle school is on the horizon, and believe me that won't be "cool" there.  :)

  5. To show him how innapropiate that is you should take him to a place where there are lots of nine yr olds and show him how they talk.  No your not being too critical i out grew that in second grade! But other than that i cant help  you much more.  I do hope you have talked to him about this though. OH and by the way next time she talks like that make you and your husband say that u cant hear her or understand her when she talks like that.  Trust me my parents used to do that and it annoyed me so bad i stoped doing what ever i was doing.

  6. My son used to do this and it drove me crazy! I used to look at him and say "I'm sorry I can't understand you can you say that to me again without the baby voice?" "Or I don't understand baby talk.." He still slipped every once in a while but it gradually improved!

  7. My neice was cure just like this: Daughter, I know you can talk in a big girl voice, your dad and my self will not acknowledge this sort of behavior, people don't like kids that use baby talk...a little tough love and a few times of her trying it and getting NO ackwoledgement and then when she speaks correctly immediately praise her and tell her thank you for being a big girl! Simple as that. Done and done.  It does sound a bit harsh but I think it will work!

  8. what type of baby talk. My daughter talks in a way that I call baby talk but it is not the words just the tone. I simply say "I can't understand you when you talk like that". Though I have noticed it is when she is nervous or embarrassed that she does it. She is also 9

  9. Not to sound too much like a shrink or anything but it sounds like the girl has some psycho-social problems going on.  Maybe she feels as if she must be "baby like" to get attention.  If you have other younger children, maybe she is trying to get attention out of her father and step-mom?

    Otherwise, I would tell her to cut it out and not respond when she talks like that.  When she talks "normally" then I would respond with great interest and respect.  It would drive me a little crazy too.

  10. Relax. Many children go through that phase. Its a time when they feel lile they felt more secure. Just give your child more attention, hugs, and kisses. When she wants to act her age she will. Don't make a big deal out of it:; don't put her down about it. Since you are a teacher you should know about child development and psycology of children. Give her love spend time with her. Praise her. Remember this phase will pass. She could be doing terrible things to get you and her fathers attention. Tell her dad to give her more attention too.

  11. dont acknowledge anything she says in baby talk, refuse to listen to her when she uses it. don't even correct her, just ignore it. she's doing it to jerk your chain, stop reacting and she will get tired of it. dad needs to take the same approach, as well as all other adult family members.

  12. Nine is way too old to be talking baby-talk.  That would drive me insane!  Tell her you cannot hear her, and that she needs to use her normal voice if she wants a response from you.

  13. When she is talking in baby talk Say to her Name I am not going to listen to you until you can speak to me in a normal grown up tone you are a big girl now.

    Try and make her feel a bit more grown up too.  Take her out to a cafe once and a while for hot chocolate and do a few grown up things with her.  Paint her nails, change things in her room ask her if she would like something different in there now that she is getting bigger.  If her duvet is still barbie she might just want butterflies or something not so babyish.  

    Are there younger children in the house?  A baby for example?  My step sister started talking like a baby when my half sister was born as she felt that the baby got more attention than her.  Of course this was not the case but was the way she felt between school and homework dinner bath and bed there just isn't much time to spend with mum or dad but the baby cries and gets picked up.  - Just a thought.

    Anyway I hope it sorts its self out soon as I agree 9 is too old to be using baby talk.

    Best of luck

  14. You are in a tough spot.

    Don't respond when she talks to you in baby talk. Let her know when she wants to talk like a "big girl" she'll get rewards.

    Now, if she contunies to talk like a baby, treat her like one. Early bed time, have no friends over and play with blocks. It worked with my kids! She'll see!

    Now, is your husband a used-to-be-widower or a divorcee? If he's just a divorcee and speaks to his ex-wife often and his ex-wife is close to your step-daughter, bring her into to this. Maybe she's not listening to you because your not really her mom.

    I wish you all of the best!

  15. ignore her when she talks to you and her father should also, she is 9 now and is too grown up to be talking like a baby, she will be teased at school if she does not get out of the habit, which is what its become with her, so tell her to talk properly if she wants to talk to you, if she wont ignore her till she does.

  16. I totally agree with everyone else who says dont acknowledge her unless she speaks like a 9 year old.  My step daughter was JUST like that, she wasnt quite as old though.  At five, she would still say things like "My hannies are cold" Instead of "My hands are cold"  Or "See the choo choo" Instead of "See the train"  A 5 year old who said "Choo choo????"  It drove me nuts!!!  My 2 year old spoke better than that!  So I talked to her dad and we decided that we would nicely correct her and then when she said it right, we would do what she was asking/saying.  For example "  Girl:  My hannies are cold, I want gloves.   Dad: Hands, not hannies.  Girl: my hands are cold Dad: okay lets get your gloves.  After a few weeks, she quit all together.  Hope that helps, and good luck.

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