My stepdaughter eats so unhealthy?

Question

I do appreciate everyones opinions although I might not agree with them. I think because I am a stay at home mom and is the one who watches her all day i feel that I should be included with discussion on how to raise her. I am just so sick of her coming over hungry and thirsty everday we have her.

Answer 1

Isn't this really a matter between her father and her mother?  I hope her father is the one having the conversations with her mother, because its not your place to have that discussion with her and you'll only damage the relationship further if you personally try to press the issue.

But in general, I'd also say that you can't just go by what a 6 year old says...they tend to forget and/or leave things out.  Heck, my children (ages 4 & 5) eat very well...we always have tons of fresh produce in our home, and I cook a homemade dinner every night.  I guarantee you though that if you asked one of my kids what they had to eat the day before, they'd wouldn't give a full list.  Its just not in the nature of kids to give a full report on stuff like that.  (Of course, my husband and I are still together, so there's no one trying to grill our children regularly for a report on what they eat.)

If the child isn't going hungry at home (and no...skipping breakfast in and of itself is not "abuse"), then there isn't a whole lot you can do about it.  Just make sure that she gets the healthiest options available at your home to balance it out.

Again though...*you* should not be the one having the conversation with her mother.  This is a parenting issue between the child's father and her mother.

Answer 2

No kids not eating breakfast isn't abuse or even neglect.  Also at 6 years old you can ask a child what they had for breakfast and they may say nothing even if they had been offered a plate full of food (know that from experience).  Remember she is your stepdaughter, if dad has a problem with it then it is his job as her father to talk to the mom not yours.  Some kids are just picky, how does she eat when she is with you?  Does she eat all the foods you offer and act like she is starving?  I would have dad and mom sit down with THEIR daughter and have a talk and find out what needs to be done.  If the girl is healthy and not gaining excessive weight and the Dr says she is healthy and she is active then she is fine.

Answer 3

OK EVERY KID LOVES MAC-A-RONI EVEN IF ITS MICROWAVABLE! SO PEACHES IN A CAN IS STILL HEALTHY JUST NOT AS HEALTHY AS RIGHT OF THE TREE SO DONT GET ALL OMG ON HER SHES JUST A KID AND WHEN SHES GETS TO BE LIKE 10 OR 11 THEN YOU SHOULD START WORRING ABOUT WHAT SHE EATS! JUST RELAX ABOUT HER FOR NOW. good luck!!

Answer 4

Approach a lawyer and look at getting full custody. Although it is not neglect as she does feed her, it is not healthy. Maybe the shock of what you are doing will be enough to smarten up her act

Answer 5

Do you have kids of your own? Skipping a meal now and then happens. Everyone isnt a stay-at-home mom.

Also my daughter loves to eat and shes a growing girl and loves food. Right after she eats, she goes over to family and friends homes and tells them she hasnt eaten. I think she thinks they will feel sorry for her and give her more food.

She's always had 2 breakfasts(and still does) - one at home and one at school. One time I was running ridiculously late and didnt feed her at home b/c I knew she was going to school and eat again anyway (I always checked her daily sheets). She complained the whole ride there about how she didnt eat breakfast, now she'd have to go the whole morning without eating, on and on and on. Finally I told her I knew that she was going to go right in that school and sit down and have breakfast and I knew that shes been doing it for years. I just never said anything. That shut her up...lol. At that age kids can over exaggerate is my point. What other evidence do you have not to trust mom?

Is the girl weak and malnourished? Why not do what you can when she's with you? If you are watching her all day, as you said, then feed her "healthy food" when she is with you.  You cant go into someone else's home and pick apart their dieting habits. I personally dont by chips or soda, but many people do and they feed it to their kids.

If you're really that concerned, prepare the food for her and give it to her mom to heat up throughout the week. That would be a big help! Otherwise I would squash the issue and maintain the peace.

Answer 6

Stop purchasing the foods she is "hungry and thirsty" for.  The reason she is comes over hungry and thirsty is because she knows you will give her what she wants.  If she isn't eating breakfast sometimes that means she isn't eating breakfast sometimes it is no indication of neglect nor abuse.  My kids sometimes skip breakfast it's not because I'm not up to fix it.  It's because they are expected to fix their own,  (all of my kids know how to cook and fix meals) , and they choose not to do so.  I have an hour to get my girls out the door and on the bus during school and into the car to the daycamp they go to when school isn't in session so I don't have a lot of time to play the "I want this I want that" game.  

Your stepdaughter obviously isn't starving and I would question the fact that all she gets is microwave pizzas and soups...at age 6 kids still have their imaginations and yes they can tell some "whoppers"  My oldest child swore up and down she was allergic to oregano for years...yet she ate spaghetti and pizza and lazagna, etc (my maternal grandmother is Italian) and oregano was in it all.  My advice is to only have fruits and veggies available when the child comes over and only offer those, if she doesn't eat the let her go hungry.  She will get the hint.

Answer 7

My son would only eat Wheatbix, vegemite sandwiches , sausages and bananas  till about 8 years old. Took him to a pediatrician and he told me that he was getting the essential food groups and not to worry he would change as he grew older. He is now 36 years old 6'2" and healthy and eats about anything.Dont worry too much she is getting good food from you. Suggest that you pack her some comfort food when going to mums , says meusli bars and juice poppers if that wont cause too much of a problem. Good Luck

Answer 8

Neglecting is a form of abuse and if the child is only 6 years old the mother needs to be getting up when she gets up. When it comes to the food I am not sure what to really say we have this problem with my husbands sons mother (she takes them out to eat every day) and when she does cook its useally the same as what you just said. We just make sure when he is here we feed him healthy meals. Thankfully he is old enough to make his own breakfast when he wakes up at his moms now and when he wasn't he had an older sister.

Answer 9

I have little understanding about why people feel the need to issue control over the lives of their husband's ex.  If she feeds the child mac and cheese and pizza, then i guess that's what she feeds her.  

Yes YOU can cook her better foods, so control what you do... you can't control anyone else.

I have no idea why you think what goes on in the mother's household affects you?  and it seems you are picking at her because of the breakfast issue.

if you are concerned about the child getting breakfast when she's at her mom's, you could discreetly pack fruits and maybe some yogart into her bag when she goes home....

No parent is perfect... and i think you're picking at this woman... why?  i have no idea.

Answer 10

let her try new healthy foods