My stepdaughter plays with a stick, and I don't understand

Question

My stepdaughter will be 12 in a couple of months, and last night I caught her banging a very large stick around her room. I told her that sticks belong outside, and to please put it in the yard, where she could play with it outside. She cried, and didn't do it. this morning I reminded her to put the stick outside, and again she cried. She said that she's had it in her room for 6 months, and holds it all of the time. She says that since we won't get her a pet, she should be able to keep the stick in her room. Was I being too harsh in making her get rid of it? Oh, and I let her put it in the garage instead. Also, we can't have more pets because we have a new baby in the house, and I don't want another responsibility, and she's not old enough to handle it.Sorry this is so long, but I want to know if I'm being fair or too harsh. Thanks!

Answer 1

That is weird. just like the the word weird ignores the i before e rule.

Get her into softball if she likes hitting things with sticks.

Answer 2

It's a stick for crying out loud! If it provides some form of comfort, then what's the big deal letting her keep it?  Just make it clear to her that hitting stuff with it is NOT acceptable behavior. Chances are that with a new baby around she is feeling a little left out. Left alone, she'll probably get rid of it within a year.  

Answer 3

just let keep the sticks, you dont want any pets and to he thats her pet. just let her take it with her it's not like she has to feed it or pick up after. she's only 12.  

Answer 4

While it is true that usually you should stick to what you say, if you aren't flexible, kids will learn to be the same. Sit down and talk to her about the stick.

It IS only a stick. If she can't have a pet, but is willing to be allowed to have what amounts to nothing, let her. Maybe you can even allow her to paint the stick with a face, help her carve it (use a dremel), decorate it, or whatever. C'mon folks; how many of us know that with a stick and a cardboard box, imagination can create any kind of fun? Anyone remember pet rocks? I'd say, let her have it, after a talk.

Answer 5

I dont think you were wrong by asking her to put the stick outside. But I do think it was wrong to allow her to keep it inside AFTER you told her to put it outside. Sounds like a bit of manipulation to me. Kids learn this behavior easily.  

Answer 6

hmmmm maybe a stuffed animal or a doll? if you really don't like the stick try those options

Answer 7

It's a stick! Whats the problem with her having it? As long as she isn't using it to damage things I see no problem with it at all. Pet rocks where a huge hit years ago! Maybe you should market it and make cash to send her and her new baby sibling to college! Is she having problems with loosing attention because of the new baby? Maybe this is her way to gain some of it back. I think you should take a whole different approach to it. Get her some old shirts or clothes and cut em up and use glue to make stick clothes. Get some yarn and make it some hair. Get some of them funky eyeball things to make it a face. Make it something you guys can do together while baby is asleep, cuz it might be her little way of showing she feels ignored or lost attention now that the baby is there.