My stepson is 14 & acts like he is 8 & a little like a girl, how can I talk to him about maning up a little ?

Question

It is so frustrating at times he has a 10 year old sister that acts far more mature than him. He cries if he doesn't get his way or if we are doing something that he doesn't really want to do. We also have 5 year old little girl that at times seems just as mature. I want him to be happy but it seems like it is impossible. If I have to pick him up for the weekend I pray all the way there that nothing has upset him before I got there because he will just be such a baby for the whole weekend and it really seems to not only affect the other kids but makes his father wonder what he is doing wrong. Please help ..

Answer 1

It sounds like he is a spoiled little brat.  

Answer 2

u got a ***** in ur hand my frend  

Answer 3

Have you considered counseling for him?  

Answer 4

To me it sound like he might have a learning difficulty if he is acting that childish you might want to get him tested if it is that much of a problum for you and he is beginning to be that much of a "baby". He probubly does this to get his way maybe (don't mean to offend you) he may have done this when he was a child and thats the way he got his way. I know you don't want to change the way he is but that might be the way he is the way he acts you could just tell him you don't like the way he acts and lust tell him what ou think of his behavior  

Answer 5

I think this kid very clearly, for what ever reason, doesn't have the confidence to come into himself. Trying to get him to "man up" will only have the opposite effect IMO. Could he be troubled by the fact that he goes back and forth? Maybe, being the oldest, he didn't get as much as he needed while the adults were working their stuff out? (not at all a judgement call) I would seriously get him counseling.

Good luck. I know it's hard. When I was married to my ex, I dreaded those weekends. But, now in hindsight I see that kid just needed something I didn't have.

Answer 6

So does my stepbrother!

Answer 7

Your husband probably has a schedule of visitation that was handed down by the court.  THOSE are  the only times he is entitled to see his son.  If your husband wants to change that he has to go to court to do so.  Why is your husband sending YOU to pick up the boy since the children's visitation is NOT with you but with their father?  As far as the playing video games...why is there a game system in his bedroom?  there shouldn't even be a television in his bedroom so that isn't the fault of the child.   You are blaming a child for what is clearly the fault of the father.  If his father wants him outside playing then why is a video game provided for the child?  Why aren't the children disciplined when they are in the home of their father?  Where are the rules and why aren't they enforced?  This isn't the fault of the stepson, it is your husband's fault.  The boy is only acting in the manner he was taught.  

Answer 8

    You can't do anything.  It is his father's job to be doing something.  Divorce is usually harder on boys, as they miss the male role model more than girls.  He is acting less mature and 'girly' because that is what he is exposed to on a daily basis.  Some one on one time with his dad doing boy stuff, like playing catch or going to the hardware store should help.  And I know these are stereotypes, but they got to be stereotypes because this is what the bulk of men do.  

Answer 9

u no emos are cry babys............yeah......

Answer 10

A 14 year old boy that does not want to hang out with Dad, is not really surprising. Neither is a teenager that doesn't want to go outside and exercise.  Tell your husband to do something with him anyway, after hanging out a few times - it will get easier for both of them.

I'm a little concerned by your comment on the visitation being with both of you, because it shouldn't be all the time. My parents divorced when I was 9, and my dad remarried.  After he married, the visits were always with both him and his wife.  I resented them both because of it and acted out in a lot of ways. I know that my behaviour didn't make a whole lot of sense to anyone, and it didn't even always make sense to me.

I would assume he's not happy about something, whether its social, or family related. Just make sure he knows he's loved, and has people that'll be on his side.