My teen Daughter wants more freedom but wants to hang in places with drugs

Question

My daughter , 16 years old has been raised mostly by me and I am strict untill recent shes not been alowed out after dark and when shes gone i have her call me every hour.

I was told that this is to much aso i tried to give her more freedom in the last week and she is hanging out at the local "Hangout".

This is a small town and I spoken with the cops they are watching the house the people there or one of tthem at least is over 21 and is buying the drink for the kids, he is a Mcdonalds manager and all the kids work there including my daughter.

Last night me and my daughter got into a big fight and she was yelling at me and i at her, I told her i didnt want her hanging with loosers and she said " as if you hav any right to talk".

Im struggeling its true i just recent got my GED I was a rotten teen and so i just want to protect her she Just means so much to me...when she said that i pushed her...not on the floor but hard enough and she went wild ...she said she was leaving and if i didnt let her go she was gona call the cops...I drag her into my room and grabbed the phone then to the living room she fought me all the way i didnt hit her and she didnt hit me she just struggled...i sat her on the couch and handed her the phone and she called 911...when the cops showed they said i was parenting her and she needed to chill basicly...the house shes hanging out is about to get busted for gods sake!...dont think im stupid shes not doing drugas my fear is though that soon she will if shes around thoughs people...its like shes trying to fit in and becomming more and more accepting...any advice PLEASE

Answer 1

When she asks again, because she will, send her to her room. If she struggles, call  the cops, and let her stay in a holding cell over night. Tell her she will end up here again if she goes to that "Hangout".

Or let her go and cordnate w/ the poliece to raid that house and lock her up for a night.

Answer 2

i think that you as a parent and the person that raised the child, should know wether or not, you think you did a well enough job to think she/he knows better then do follow the crowd. so if you trust your parenting skills then trust the child to make the choices and the right ones at that

Answer 3

Move to a new town. I don't know thats a hard situation to be in

Answer 4

I can't read all that...

Answer 5

lock her in her room put locks on all the windows in her room take her to and from school every day and dont let chat on the phone she needs to learn your the boss not her GOOD LUCK

Answer 6

well every kid needs a good booty whipping b4 they will listin to you, also dont let her talk to you like that, u raised her and put cloths on her back she better respect you, dont even let her go out, one day she will thank you

Answer 7

she is 16 and if you keep being so hard on her then you will push her further away and possibly make her more into the idea of doing drugs, give her more freedom, come to a conclusion from which you both can agree on something that will give her more freedom but that also makes you happy. she has to grow up one day.  

Answer 8

well tell yur daughter if shekeeps going there she wont be able to leave the house AT ALL! she will be grounded and will loose privlidges. like...computer..phone. all the stuff she 'cant live without'

Answer 9

Be strict. It's better to be unpopular in your child's eyes then have her take drugs. Secondly don't physically hurt her even if you are made. I recommend you keep her in and away from the house no matter what the costs until it is busted. As an alternative so she can still see friends you should have her invite them to your house where you can keep an eye on them and gauge them to see if they are the people you want her to be with.

Good luck

Answer 10

sit her down. and just be calm. tell her that you dont want her to end up like you. (not meaning an offense to that at all). you dont want her dropping out of high school and what not. thats why your overly strict on her. and your just scared for her well being. let her know that you love her. and also just give her her space for a few days. then have a chat about rules. come up with a set of rules together. for when she goes out. that way she'll feel like she had a say in it.  

Answer 11

if you are open with her and honest about drugs, tell her everything you can gather about facts and statistics and tell her that you'll answer her questions, she wont be as curious. if you're an open parent that tries to see things from both sides she'll respect you more.

Answer 12

You can't lock up your daughter forever. I know it's hard, but it's better to give a little freedom and trust rather than just not trust her.

Answer 13

Okay I think at first you were being too strict but not wanting your daughter in that house is totally acceptable. She is trying to take a mile when you giave her an inch. Do whatever is nessacary to keep her out of there. Take away her keys, Ground her. You are the mother and she has to respect that. Tell her its ot because you don't trust her but because you don't want her arrested for being in the wrong place at the wrong time