My teenager came home at 6am when due home at 2.30am after a special occasion ball.

Question

I was so worried and nearly called the police. When she did come home she was very drunk and a boy had dropped her home. I do not like this boy as I don't trust him. She is very angry at me. How do I discipline her? What is reasonable discipline?

Answer 1

Discipline might not be the answer. No matter what you do to her, she's going to go out and do whatever it is again, mainly because of peer pressure. She needs to be taught how to handle peer pressure. Check out http://www.kidshealth.org and click on the parent section for more info on this. If this keeps happening and it won't change, you should consider having her switch schools.  

Answer 2

well if she stays out late alot and goes drinking and stuff and if you dont like the boy shes with put a restraining order against him so if he gets near your daughter call the cops if she gets mad thats ok because you know your daughter is going to be safe and she wont get hurt.

Answer 3

she should NOT be angry at you. she was the one who broke curfew and came home drunk. but yeah you should take away her cell phone and computer and things like that.  

Answer 4

I take it you have never had to discipline your child before?  

of course she is mad, mostly at herself but will take it out on you.  She is trying to intimidate you so you will back off.  

Don't

I think taking a phone away for a week is something you do to a 6th grader.  

Ground her activities for the Ist semester of school, gradually relaxing the restrictions IF her behavior improves.  One of the rules must be that she be honest with friends about why she cannot participate in certain after school activities.  "I broke curfew and got drunk last part of summer so I am grounded."

No movies, no hang outs, only school and afterschool activities allowed.   No dances, parties of any kind, no friends b'day parties.  She goes from school to home for at least a month.  

Part of the problem is that grounding creates hassles for parents and after a few cranky fussy days of fits the parent throws their hands in the air and says "Oh do what you want."  and walks off.  Kid wins.  it works.  Kid has no consequences, has learned to manipulate parents and has no respect for any authority.  Good job parents.  

So grounding will work as long as YOU can stand it.    

Answer 5

when i was in my youth... i had to be home at 10p.m.  

Answer 6

Whoop her little a&&!  She'll get the message then.

And if you do not trust him you NEED to take her to the GYNO asap- because if she was drunk, she'll most likely not remember what happend and she could've been taken advantage of. So get her to the GYNO. And you need to talk to her about that. She has NO right disrespecting your household coming home 3.5 hours later then you told her to come. Instead of 2 you need to make her curfew 11pm. And if she does NOT come in by that time you need to call the police.

Answer 7

im 16 and iv bein there done that!!!

and regreted it ALOT!! my advice is to sit her down and ask what happend and explain hw worried you wer..its normal for teenagers to do stupid things lik this!! dont start pickin on the boy shel hate you for that!! you miten like him bt he did take her home and shows he was caring for her!!

gud look :D

Answer 8

ground her take away her stuff then when she is cooled off talk to her and tell her that you were mad because she disobeyed you, broke the law,talk to her about the boy,then tell her that the main reason is that u love her and would die if anything happened to her.also talk in the most nonthreatening way posible(mommy voice) that way she will listen better

Answer 9

What could she possibly be angry at you for?

She's lucky to have such a calm and concerned parent. Personally, I wouldn't let her go to another event like this, and probably sit her down and find out what happened to her that night.

Answer 10

First of all teenager or dance no kid should have a curfew of 2:30 am seriously what did you think teenagers would be doing that late playing spin the bottle you should be glad she came home the next morning when atleast I'm sure the driver was a little more sober......just be thankful she came home safely and not at all....  

Answer 11

well u have not stated her age so we cant help there  

Answer 12

Grounding her is definitely appropriate in this situation. Personally, I would ground her for 2 weeks and that means: no going out with friends, no car, no tv, no computer (except for homework and that is closely monitered), no cell/house phone. Not only did she break curfew but she also broke the law by drinking underage and she has no right to be mad at you. You're her parent and she lives with you so you set the rules and you have the right to punish her however you see fit.

Answer 13

well, for my prom, i did the same thing.

but i didn't have a curfew, and my parents knew i was drinking

and they said it was fine, as long as i didn't drive or someone who

had been drinking didn't drive.

anyway,

had my parents not allowed me to do either of the above, they would have yelled at me, taken away the computer, told me that i was grounded until further notice, and explain how worried you were, and tell you that she could have called if she was going to be later than expected, and i would have not been able to go anywhere, like out of the house either.

hope i helped.

Answer 14

HOW OLD IS SHE AND WHAT IS THE LEGAL DRINKING AGE FOR YOUR STATE?  i WOULD TAKE HER CAR IF SHE DRIVES.  BECAUSE IF SHE WAS DRINKING SO WAS THE BOY WHO DROVE HER HOME.  GOOD LUCK.

Answer 15

She has no right to be angry at you.

She broke her curfew and the law.

I would take her cell phone away for at least a week.

I would also call the parent of the boy and let them know that you were very upset that your daughter arrived home drunk with their son.

I would let her know that because of her poor choices, she can no longer see him and that she is grounded for at least a week.

Tough love is the answer, friendships with teens is the wrong path

Answer 16

You really should worry about making sure she does the right thing next time.  Make sure she calls you everytime because she gave you a huge reason not to trust her judgement for a while.  Make her want to win your trust back, by taking away some privileges she will want to be trusted again.  So you need some discipline...

SPANKING!!! Just kidding... If you are really concerned about this boy... then call his parents... or at least threaten to.  ITs all about leverage.

Answer 17

From the point of view from a college kid...your teen should have called you. I don't care how pissed off or whatever I am at my parents. They always have a way to reach me.  I don't want to keep them up all night worrying.

On the other hand, teens will be teens and partying is normal. You should sit down with her and try to get the whole story...make sure the boy wasn't driving drunk. That sort of thing. You shouldn't keep her from attending events after this but she needs to be responsible and act like an adult.