My thirteen year old daughter caught my fifteen year old sun masturbating?

Question

My daughter just confronted me about seeing her brother on the couch naked watching p**n and masturbating yesterday while I was at work. She said that her brother didnt know she was there and that he still doesn't have any idea that she saw but i don't know what to do. Im a single mother.Do you think I should confront him or should I call his dad and get him to confront him?

Answer 1

You should let him know that she saw him so that he knows that he needs to be a little more careful about being sure he's in a private spot.  You also need to talk to him about p**n and the distorted view of s*x and relationships it shows.  I don't think it's inherently wrong to watch p**n but it can damage someones perceptions, especially a young someone who doesn't have any experience.  

You should also talk to your daughter about masturbating and p**n.  I hope you don't make them feel that it's evil and dirty.  It really is a natural and healthy thing to do.  Better home by himself on the couch than out getting some little girl pregnant.  

www.teenwire.com is a Planned Parenthood website that you can go to with them or send them to alone to get some straight talk about s*x without worrying about getting irresponsible information.

Answer 2

Just call his dad to talk to him about it.

He would not feel good if you confronted him about it.

It's the same thing girls like talking to their moms about their own private problems in teenage years.

So the dad confronting him would be better.

Answer 3

tell him this: "masturbation should be done in your bedroom. the living room doesnt give you much privacy. oh and by the way p**n is not how real people have s*x."

or have his dad tell him.

Answer 4

you should talk with your husband first

Answer 5

Its normal for a boy he's age to do that, don't embarrass him. If it happens again i would recommend you talk about the p**n thing but other than that almost all guys m********e in there teenage years.

Answer 6

I don't think you should do anything about the masturbating. All fifteen year old boys will do that. Talking to him about it will cause him a lot of embarrassment and an awkward situation. Don't even mention it. However, it's the p**n you should be focusing on more than the masturbating.

Answer 7

You should definitely call his dad if you think you should talk to him about it. But most of all do not let your daughter talk to him about it because then that would mean he knows that you know and everyone knows.

Answer 8

Tell dad unless he is a bum than get an uncle or something.

Answer 9

I think you should just call his dad to confront him and tell him that "Next time when you m********e, please do it when everyone's not around.".

It'd be better for two men have a serious talk about this thing or about sexual education.

EDIT:

And I think both of you and your ex-husband should not embarrass him because this thing is absolutely normal and I bet your ex-husband has also done that when he was young.

Answer 10

Just act as if it never happened. Trust me.

Answer 11

you should tell your son to lock the door so no one will see..

Answer 12

I think confronting will definitely result in a massive soul-destroying lifelong humiliation.

tone it down, don't mention the masturbation but mention the p**n instead if you must, this at least indicates you didn't necessarily spot him "at it".

Answer 13

Your son and daughter both need to know that masturbation is normal and healthy. This needs to be explained by whichever parent can do so with least embarrassment; it might be quite helpful for your son to have a woman's view.

I find this very sensible - be sure to read it all through - the beginning is a bit confusing:

http://www.jackinworld.com/bios/bio233.h...

Your son needs to know that pornography is unrealistic that it's better to use his own imagination; and that it is not appropriate to m********e in parts of the house where he might be seen.

Keep as calm as you can - this is just part of growing up. You want both your children to feel able to talk to you about s*x or anything else that they're uncertain about. Try to keep the door open for communication in the future.

Most of all they need to know that you love them both very much, and will always be there for them.

Answer 14

First- Son is spelt with and O

but anyways, i think you should not so much confront him as tell him to do that in privacy of a bathroom or his room.  Don't give him into trouble unless you are a hardcore religious person then by all means suppress.

If you haven't had the s*x talk you should, Father's aren't needed for this type of things always, unless he resents women.

Answer 15

dad is of little use. YOU talk to him.

No matter who talks to him, he is going to get embarrassed.

First, you talk about the fact that you know all boys m********e; it's just part of growing up.

HOWEVER, a sense of propriety is to be maintained. You then tell him that little sister saw him on the couch, watching p**n and relieving himself,

You are doubly distressed, with both the p**n viewing and the almost unconcerned attitude behind it all.

Do NOT confront, OK? You are correcting attitude and it was just a poor lapse of judgment

Answer 16

You can develop an open relationship with your children and have the "talk" with both of them, but do it separately.

I wouldn't suggest that you call your son out, but I would say that there are things that need to be done in private.

It seems that your son didn't know she was around, so approach this carefully when discussing this matter.

Just be open and honest and you will build trust and respect from the both of them.

Answer 17

Get him away from p**n, either gradually or confrontation. Don't be afraid. However, masturbation is totally normal and you should let him know that. Do not punish him, but just talk. But this talk is not restricted by gender, but if you feel the father would do better, just give him my advice.

Answer 18

oh,how nice.

Answer 19

Don't do anything. DOn't tell him anything. Tell your daughter not to say anyhting....This will scar him for life if he knew he was caught by little sister!!  Just have the dad tell him about keeping that sort of thing private like in his room or bathroom.

Answer 20

No No No. Don't confront him. It will scare him and may damage your relationship. But, if you catch him again tell him no p**n and so and so...

Answer 21

call his dad and get him to explain this issue to him.

Answer 22

There's nothing wrong with masturbation in a teenage male, but have his father talk about how private masturbation should be and that p**n shouldn't be viewed at his young age. Don't scold or scream at him if you do catch him. Just tell him that when he masturbates, do it in his room because of the privacy of the act. Call his dad and have him talk to him. Hope this helps.

Answer 23

have his dad tell him to do it privatly. no matter wat u say hes still gonna do it anyway. dont make it into a big deal

Answer 24

"Confront" might be the wrong approach to take.  Every boy that age is going to m********e, but there is no excuse for him doing it in the living room.  Which way to handle this would probably best be dictated by how he reacted to your daughter's presence.  And yes, I would suggest you have his dad handle this since he is available and this is a "guy thing".  His attitude may not be as receptive if you approach him.  Again, what he did was normal, but there is no justifying where he was at.

Answer 25

Just talk to him about privacy if your realtion is close enough to him. If not call his father to do that

Answer 26

Don't make it into a big deal

Just tell him to keep it in the privacy of his own room

Answer 27

Don't confront him it is normal to m********e and im sure you do to but if you do confront him im sure your relationship will change drastically!

Answer 28

Tell your son and daughter separately that it's okay to m********e,but do it in the privacy of their room and not in the living room where someone can see you. Don't embarrass him.  Explain that to your daughter too.  

Answer 29

first, i'd talk to your daughter about sexual stimulation and natural body functions, she'll be there soon herself.  i'd minimize it, and talk to your son about your daughter seeing him watch p**n on tv, maybe that will be enough to get him to do that in private, as he'll continue to do it

Answer 30

Definitely call his dad and have him talk to him. It would be extremely awkward if you confronted him about this issue. Just tell him to do it in his room from now on so that nobody can see him. He'll be embarrassed but he'll get over it.