My toddler killed my bird 1 hour ago--I can't stop crying?

Question

My two year old broke my beautiful cockatiel's neck. I had him for five years and I am crying as I write this. Seeing my loved pet lifeless is unbearable. How can I stop crying? I feel physically weak and devastated. How can I feel normal asap so I can take care of my children?

The last I saw my toddler was taking a nap. My cockatiel was perched on a high dresser in my computer room. I went downstairs to prepare some rice and during that time my toddler awoke and looked for me in the computer room. I don't know how he got a hold of my bird, but after he killed the bird he plucked my cockatiel's crown out and down feathers.

I could not comfort my toddler since I needed comforting.

Any advice would be helpful right now. Thank You.

Answer 1

I think people on here need to stop being so judgemental.  The fact is your little boy still could have done this even if you were right there supervising him. He could have easily been playing with your bird with you there and gotten too rough and done the same thing. Things happen before you can even intervene especially with children that age. How can you punish him for something he doesn't even comprehend. The only thing punishable was him not leaving the bird alone when he knows better, but if you didn't do it then, it's too late on that. It was an accident and whether anyone wants to admit it, it could happen to anyone who has little one that allows them to hold their bird.  I am so sorry. When you calm down enough you will be able to console your son.  

Answer 2

I'm sorry, I love animals too

Answer 3

your bird will always be in youre heart with you forever

now he is in a better place and happy

you just have to get past it and deal with it cuz it already happened and it cant change

Answer 4

im very sorry ...just think hes  in heaven with god and my  cockatiel prince snowy i bet they are playing right now rip loopy                its ok every thing comes and goes  hes in a better place  

Answer 5

Everything will be o.k.! Try not to blame it on your toddler, since he's only a few years old, I'm sure he didn't mean to on purpose. I try to think of death as a celebration of Life...not dwelling on the death part. And when celebrating Life, death is certainly a part of it. But of course you should take a little time to be sad, because holding things in never helps. So maybe once you start to feel a little better, you can have a Life Party for your bird. You don't have to go all out and invite everyone you know or have decorations(but if you want to, no one's stoppin you), it could just be you and your kids or husband or even just youself. You could share favorite memories of your bird. You could even make a scrapbook with pictures(if you have them), drawings and captions. And when you feel sad you can read it. Over time looking at it won't make you sad about his passing, but happy and warm to remember him. Losing pets are hard, even for adults. But things will get better.

I hope this helps and finds you feeling better...

Kelli

Answer 6

Just my opinion.  Crying is normal from loss.  Personally, I don't think you should worry about it too much.  I think the best way to feel normal ASAP is just to let it out, now.  Don't burry it.  Burrying emotions just makes things worse.

Maybe hug your toddler as you cry?

Maybe it would be healthy if your toddler experianced crying with you.  He would see you are an emotional being, and he might see this as a consequence of such things.

Just my thoughts.  Let it out.  It's normal.

Take care.  Hug.

Answer 7

Oh that was your bird? my bad... my bad

Answer 8

think about your children.. the bird may have been dear to you but in all accordance with human nature, your children should be more important.  

Answer 9

looks like you got a little jeffrey dahmer on your hands watch that boy!

cruelty to animals is the first sign of a psychopath

Answer 10

Whoa..that's so sad.  I feel your pain.  It reminds me of the time my mom bought my little sister a gerbil on christmas and she accidently ripped it's tail off and killed it.  We were so sad that christmas, we all wept in our beds till the next day.  The only thing that can heal a wound like this is time.  There's nothing I or anybody else could say that will help soothe the pain.  Just let it all out. =(

Answer 11

I believe you have a little bit of mixed emotions there. You had 5 years of love and caring invested on your pet;  it is hard to see a good companion go. I think you also feel a little bit guilty for failing to protecting him, you probably even feel somewhat angry at your toddler for killing it, and all these is confusing you. All these emotions are normal. If there is still any sunlight left out, grab your toddler and get out of your house, get some sun and air in your face, breed some fresh air and go ahead and cry, and when your toddler asks take the time and explain why you are feeling sad. Accidents happen, and blaming yourself wont change de facts. You are a good person, you now your priorities and eventually you will feel better. I hope you do understand that your son is to small to understand the difference between a toy and a pet, so he shouldn't feel responsible for your sorrow.

Answer 12

well understand that your child thought it was a toy. sooo, to get the image out of your head you need to imagine it as a toy too. go buy a new bird and name it the same name as your other bird, and after a while you will think it was your old bird..

Answer 13

Well first forgive your son. Second get all your crying out. Maybe to pass time cook a meal or read a book maybe even hang out with ur girlfriends. Sorry to say but the bird is gone. so relax and just love ur son and maybe buy a new bird.

Answer 14

it would have been one of those things were he was playing with him and  the bird lovingly pecked of nipped him as most birds do and that shows love and trust but your toddler took it the wrong way and tryed hurting him back. its a sad thing but go comfert your baby. hug him while you cry. let him know its ok. even if your not.

Answer 15

i wouldn't blame your child because sometimes when they are lonely or depressed cockatiels have tendency to hang themselves on something causing them to break their neck therefore killing its self. even if you were only gone for five minutes if you where close to the bird and u left it alone it might have killed itself

Answer 16

im so sorryy,

I answered the other one. He probably thought it was a toy and wanted to play with it. You need to teach him it was real. The only way is to cry and let it out. When a loved one or animal is killed its not much you can do. unless they died of old age. But when they die like that u just have to get through it day by day

Answer 17

I'm sorry

Answer 18

It can be very hard losing a pet I'm so sorry and a bird you can get so bonded to. And this is why I hate kids... You also need to tell your child that was wrong if you haven't already, but seeing you cry will be enough to know he did a bad thing.

Answer 19

First of all that is really sad...just take deep breaths...even though i know that it really hurts to lose something you have had for so long you need to comfort your child first. Try not to think of what happened. Think of all the good times...and nothing else. But really i am sorry that you lost your bird.

Answer 20

try to hold yourself together for you kids then at nighttime let it out try talking to someone it normal to cry and your kids will understand

Answer 21

my dog ate mine then brought her to me (but she was a parrot RIP Runaway) anyway just know that it was not intentional and it was a complete accident. You need to forgive and forget. I know it is hard. But get like a tub of ice cream sit down on your couch and see how far you can get with just a spoon.... and give you child a hug, he is probably worried about him mommy he was probably trying to give it a hug. Just comfort him and he will comfort you back.

Answer 22

Over 80% of American pet owners consider their pets to be members of the family, and well over half spend more time taking their pets to the vet than going to the doctor for themselves. I know that it must be real hard for you, but you need to be strong for your child. Comforting him may help you comfort yourself at the same time. good luck. God bless.

Answer 23

i think you should get over the bird for a second (yes its hard) talk with your child RIGHT NOW! tell him about how killing is bad and all of this im not a mother or anything but i think you should set him straight and tell him all of this stuff and ground him! goodluck and im sorry!

Answer 24

Hello, friend.

As a fellow cockatiel's pet human, I can completely understand how you feel.  I've lost many a bird, and a snake.  But for all of those who are saying that this is your fault, they need to feel our pain.

It completely isn't your fault. It isn't your child's fault, or the bird's fault.  It was just a freak accident.  I recently left my cockatiel for 6 weeks for a trip with a family who has a 3 year old and a 6 year old.  I was originally nervous, and was especially nervous when the 6 year old was saying how exciting and how cool it was to see my precious Twinkles flapping around the cage when he tipped it over.  Occasions like these demonstrate how children don't know how to properly handle a pet.

If you don't allow your toddler to pet or hold your bird under your supervision, maybe he just wanted to see the bird and feel the bird.  He just didn't understand that cockatiels are fragile little birds like the robins he sees.  

I know that you are feeling sorry, and if he is crying as well, take a few moments to compose yourself.  Go into another room and hold your breath for as long as you can.  Let it out slowly, and then breathe in again.  Just relax your muscles and let everything go.  When my snake died, it was my fault.  I forgot to turn on his lantern one night and he froze.  You are lucky that you do not need to hold that weight on your shoulders.  

Birds are like family to us, but your child is also your family.  You need to think about the things that really matter: Your family comes first and foremost, then your pet family.  You need to tell your child that it wasn't his fault, but he needs to be careful.

I hope you feel better,

Phoenix

EDIT;; The fact that he is saying, "I am fixing Loopy." shows that it was not intentional.  Sometimes children lose their self-control...as adults do as well.

Answer 25

SO sorry for your loss....had the same thing happen to my beloved parakeet when my niece got ahold of him.  Give is time.

Answer 26

Man I would be so angry if I lost a little companion that I had for over 5 years.

I don't care if it was my own child I would give that child a nice talk never to touch your pets again. Unless its a dog thats bigger then him.

I heard Teenagers that go outsideto kill animals slowly grow to want more violence and incrase there violence by killing human beings because they enjoy it

So tell him now that harming other Animals is a No no and never do it again.

Answer 27

Wow that is dumb to leave a child unattended long enough for him to do that.....Poor bird didn't have a chance you should never leave your  bird unattended....why your bird would let him handle him like that is beyound me I have 2 male cockatiels who when they see a hand come towards they fly away as high as they can get so how can your son could reach a cockatiel perched up so high..... this just doesn't make sense....sorry for the doubt but as a cockatiel owner cannot understand how a child can get a hold of it when it is so high up and to think you child could of killed himself climbing up a high dresser to get the bird in the 1st place.....all I can say is call a friend or family member for comfort.  

Answer 28

you should punish him or ground him or her

Answer 29

PLEASE do not be to mad at the kid the are only2 ... there is a song i listin to in these situations [ frebird by lynard skinnard

Answer 30

Thats truly tragic and catastrophic news!  I feel for you.  Your kids need to learn respect for life, he didn't know it yet, but he needs to learn it, so that he doesn't become a murderer of people in the future too.  It is an issue for you, don't deny it or suppress it, and for him, it could turn into a learning experience of what not to do.  Its wise of you to search for advice.  Don't let anyone convince you it was nothing.  Get good advice from an educated child care specialist.