My twin sister is going to die and won't talk to me.........?

Question

my twin sister is bulimac. she has been admited to a mental hospital but i don't no why? i was the first one to find out after i walked in on her in the bathroom making herself sick. she is and was far from fat and it scared me so much when she told me everthing she eats she throws back up. she swore me not to tell anyone and for about a month i didn't. i konw it was the most stuipid thing to du but she's my twin. i tried helping but it woudn't help her realise what she was doing to herself. i tried showing her what she was doing by not eating myself when she didn't and throwing up when she did but i fainted and almost went into a coma cuause i whacked my head on a desk in school. now that i told she wont talk to me. she says i betrayed her and that she cant forgive me. she won't even let me go see her in hospital. how can i show her what i did i did to help her. i miss her so much and i'm feeling so depressed without Demie. how can i get her to love me again cuz i miss her xxxxx

Answer 1

Bulimia is a mental disorder, like Obsessive Compulsive Disorder or Bi-polar Disorder.  How can she prevent you from seeing her in the hospital?  She's too weak to physically throw her out.  Just speak to her in a kind way and say that it would have betrayed her NOT to tell.  Tell her that she may say she won't forgive you for trying to save her, your best friend for life, but that you would never have forgiven yourself if she had died.  Tell her this in a letter if she tells the nurses not to let you into her room, or stand outside her door and talk to her.  Tell her that you are not going away because you love her!

Answer 2

Bulimia can be a very serious condition involving a lot of self loathing and resentment towards family as the ones who have taken away the means of coping. Perhaps your actions were not the best in trying to match her by making yourself an example but you really seem to care for your sister and that is something which really counts. It's important for her to get treatment and while I don't want to say that your sister is in dire straits it can take a very long time to get over that particular way of thinking. Perhaps she thought she had it under control but it only takes a small push or incentive to start over doing it, not to mention stomach acid from repeatedly throwing up can wear away the protective enamel on teeth.

Right now she's got to spend a lot of time dealing with her condition and the resentment, towards herself and others. It doesn't mean that she doesn't care for you but she's probably going to be very self absorbed for a while. It's important to show support for her no matter what you get in return, abuse or the cold shoulder. You could write a letter if she won't see you in person, record a message or send her flowers or something you know she likes. Even if they are thrown away she will be aware that you care enough to continually send something to her. That said, you need support too so if you're feeling down I hope you will feel free to talk to your parents, a good friend or the school counsellor about how you're feeling. It's important for you to stay healthy too.

Answer 3

I feel so bad. if this will help say, I am sorry But, If i let you keep doing that than you would have died a long time ago and i don't want to loose you. I love you to much for that! We share a special bond only twins share and, I couldn't take that risk. I know you feel like i betrayed you But again, I did it out of love and maybe some day you will forgive me. I would hope if the shoe was on the other foot, You would do the same for me. Then she will see that, You were just trying to help. Hope this helped you. Just don't give up, Give her time she'll come around. It's up to her now. Send her, Letters and cards for now. Let her know exactly how you feel. It will make you feel better and believe it or not she will too. But she needs help more right now.

Answer 4

Oh Mellie, I really feel for you.  I too was an identical twin. My twin had cancer and I watched her slowly dwindle away until she died. I realize these are two different situations but the feelings are identically the same.

Demie was taken to a mental hospital because bulimia is a horrible disease that affects a person mentally and physically. It's a very sad situation. Demie is not thinking rationally, Hon. It's kinda like telling a person that is addicted to drugs, that they have to quit taking the drugs they are addicted to. It wouldn't make sense to them either.

Once Demie gets the help she needs to free herself and deal with bulimia, she will realize you saved her life.  Mellie you are such a brave girl and, although I don't know you from Adam, I am so very proud of you. No one but a twin realizes the kind of sacrifice you've made to save her.  My prayers will be with you and Demie, Millie. God bless you.

Answer 5

If she is in the hospital now, hopefully she is getting some therapy for her issues.  With time she will hopefully come around to understand that you were doing what you could to help her.  It may take some time, but don't give up on her.  How about your parents, other family or friends?  Maybe they can help by talking to her.  Good luck!

Answer 6

and another dumb girl who thinks image is everything dies.

Answer 7

It's hard to believe but whats best for your sister right now is some alone time. She will come to realize that you have done for her was for the best intention. After a while write to her and tell her how you feel and in time you will see the good that will happen... She can't stay mad at you for ever your sisters.

Answer 8

Well you have to see it from her point of view. She thought that there was something wrong with her weight, so she did this. Now everyone knows, and she cant take the easy way out of losing weight because of you. So of course she's gonna be angry at you. Also, being this sick is something she is probably ashamed of, so by telling, you brought bad attention to her. (You did the right thing by the way, this is just her point of view)

If she is in hospital, she's getting the help she needs. I know it seems that she hates you right now but once she starts to recover, she'll see that you love her and you're only trying to help.

It will be hard, and you're just gonna have to respect her wishes by leaving her alone for a bit. She'll come around eventually. But this is why these are the hard times, because there's no easy way out, but they'll go eventually.

Good luck and I hope your sister gets better soon. :)

Answer 9

You did everything right.  A person as sick as she is won't think rationally at all.  Once she truly heals she will thank you.

Answer 10

Listen, your sister's mindset is such that she doesn't really know the harm she's doing to herself, and by working against her you're automatically her enemy - in her mind. This is the illness talking. It's very important that you understand this.

She will get better and understand what she has been doing to herself, and then she will realise that you saved her life. I know you miss her, but it will take some time for her to come around. She will, though. So don't worry about that. As I said, it's the illness, and it's taken over her mind. Eating disorders are in mental illness territory, which is why she is where she is now.  

Answer 11

Send her a card or something to show that you care, but always know, even if she can't forgive you, you did teh right thing. I had to do the same thing for my best friend who was cutting and thinking suicidal thoughts.

Answer 12

Get some flower and plush toy and go visit her in the hospital ... talk to her again and make her understand why you did what you did ... i am sure she will she just  needs time! If she does not wanna see you when you go in to her room ,just leave the flowers and leave! and tell her tha tyou love her very much ... it will take time but it will heal.

Best of luck to you both!