My uncle... he gives me this really odd feeling.

Question

My dad's brother has always seemed a little odd to me...

When I'm around him he is constantly trying to get my attention and he looks at me like a lover would. It is really odd and it freaks me out. I don't know what to do about it. He goes on and on about how attractive I am and how I couldn't get that from my father. I'm in my second year of college now. He keeps trying to find out if I drink and party and tells me stories about back when he was in college. Then he tried to get me to go to a bar with him. I'm attractive and I am used to dealing with the looks I get, but he is my uncle and I can't shake this feeling. It is bad and I'm afraid of him.

I've told my father that it really bothers me and I don't like it, but my dad will leave me alone with him and it really scares me. I'm 19, so I know that I'm just going to have to get over it. I just want to know what you would do in a situation like that... he is family and really hard to avoid. How do I keep from feeling like he would violate me if he thought he could get away with it?

Answer 1

Look up incest statistics...it mostly happens between uncles, step dads, close friends, fathers, brothers and the daughters. You are in a risky situation...Where's your mom in all this? Your dad is supposed to protect you from this...What is he going to need a brick on the side of the head? You probably need to watch how you dress, how close you are physically, and try to avoid being alone with him. He's lusting you...he may even care a lot but if you are not interested in his advances, it will be up to you to be smart. Carry a cell phone and ready it for speed dial it to 911. Unfortunately, the male of the human species is wired differently from the females...Just be careful...try talking to your dad one more time...if this does not work. Try avoidance but keep cell close by. Take care

Answer 2

Well I think you need to say something to your uncle since your dad has not done anything to make you feel more protected! I think you need to limit contact with your uncle and stay away from him when he is at family functions. Put your foot down because you need to protect yourself even if he isnt physically scary, you never know.

Answer 3

Tell your parents he is looking at you and it scares you, like he wants to have s*x or rape you.  If they don't want to believe you, then take karate classes, that way if he tries something, he will loose all his fingers and get hurt badly. lol. Good Luck, and I hope karma gets your uncle so he suffers because of this.

Answer 4

Be careful.  I don't want to scare you but I knew someone who molested his niece.  Obviously we are no longer friends.  Don't be afraid to speak up.  Talk to your dad again and tell him everything that you have written down here.  Your dad should be protective of you.  He should be standing up to his brother.  Tell you dad that if he doesn't handle it that you will.  Also tell your dad that if he doesn't talk to his brother that you refuse to be in his company.  Just tell your uncle straight out that he makes you really uncomfortable and you want him to back off.  If it makes you uncomfortable to say it face to face then put it in writing.  Don't let him make you feel bad.  Your uncle may say that it is your imagination or that you are overreacting.  Don't let him.  

Answer 5

he's a pedifile...

obciously.. no man in any relation should talk to you like that!! i know what you're going through.... only it went further for me,,,,

so stay away an do what you can.. cause it could become worse...

if it bothers you that much do not go around him.. you 19.. you should know what to do

Answer 6

You poor thing!  Since your dad obviously isn't taking you seriously, would you be able to talk to you mum or the uncles wife/gfriend? Other than that try and go out whenever he comes round, even if you walk out like it was always planned once he has arrived if it's unexpected.  Hope this helps x

Answer 7

Id say avoid being around him,if u can tell any other female family member or a friend how u feel. Ur 19,i mean no one can force u to do anything. It sounds like ur dad dnt bother bout it much,then maybe its time to not go to family do's and ur opinion and feelings need to be respected. Personally,id pray to be kept safe and live in faith. Hope ull be alright.

Answer 8

talk to a close family member or friends about this

Answer 9

Just go find yourself a BF and be sure he is a big, kick-as* bF that will surely mock your uncle as* off. Plus try to avoid him and focus with your cousins!... Get away from his sight! if he follows you, then move away. Make him feel that you want to get away from him.

Answer 10

Since your dad won't man up, talk to another stronger relative about this.  This person could go with you to talk to your uncle.  Tell him to stop this action or you will not be around him ever.

Do not ever be alone with him.  Get up and leave! Do not give him all of your information.  He sounds like he could also be a stalker.  Close all of your blinds and drapes.  He could be creeping around looking into your windows!  

He sounds like he really could be dangerous, and possible could be so obsessed with you that he could hurt you.

Answer 11

He obviously has issues, and if he makes you feel uncomfortable in any way, do your best to stay away from him.  I'm glad you told your dad, but I think you need to tell him again, or tell your mom.  Do you have a car?  If your dad ever leaves you alone with him, leave the house.  Go to a friend's or to the mall.  I think you really need to let your dad know how much this bothers you.  Even if all 3 of you sat down to tell your uncle to be more aware of how he looks at you and talks to you, that may help.  He needs to be told that you're family, not two unrelated strangers.  And he needs to meet someone his own age.  

Answer 12

You need to stress to your father and other family members how uncomfortable he makes you feel. If you feel like he'll listen, even try and tell him how uncomfortable he makes you. This is not normal at all and shouldn't be taken lightly just because you're an adult. In the workplace this would be called sexual harassment and wouldn't be taken lightly so it shouldn't be in your family environment.

Answer 13

I know what ur talking about.I have an uncle just like that......but hold on i'm a guy but he does that with my girl cousins and my sis.he does everything ur saying,but he has never touch them or other things like that.just don't worry.....till he does something then call the police and send him to jail.

Answer 14

omg! look, most girls that get r.a.p.e.d. were r.a.p.e.d. by a close male family member, usually an older cousin or an UNCLE. in your situation, there may be nothing to worry about or there may be alot to worry about. nothing to worry about- maybe your uncle doesn't know that he is doing this and maybe he is saying that you are pretty in a fatherly way, not a weird freako way. a lot to worry about- maybe your uncle hasn't seen someone as beautiful and attractive as you lately and you kinda know what i mean to say... but since this has been going on sice you were ten, i doubt that you were *hot* back then(not saying taht you couldn't have been pretty-its just that ten year olds are not hawt) and maybe he just looks at you like a daughter and maybe you feel uncomfortable with him beauce you're not emotionally close to him. just don't assume the worst. and if he really gives you that mmuch discomfort, then try not to be with him unacompanied for a long time. like if he comes over to your house while only you're there, just invite a friend over- its not like he's going to think that you're trying to avoid him or something. good luck and god bless you.

Answer 15

look hun ur 19 u can take care of it on ur own.....

i was 13 and messed with by my step uncle and my aunt is still with him...

i am 18 now and i havent seen him since.....

mainly b/c he is in jail 4 drugs

he didnt go 2 jail 4 what he did 2 me....

but i 4gave him....

GOOD LUCK!

Answer 16

your dad is trippin for just blowing off your concern. STRESS it to your dad and let him handle it. If not, tell another family member, someone will have your back.