My wedding.. Please advice!!!

Question

I am getting married in next month. I and my boy friend are well known to each other for some time and our families proposed this idea. Indeed, we never got a chance to date or spend some private time to discuss certain things before marriage. In fact, we never discussed about s*x and I know nothing about it (except the basic knowledge) and not sure about his knowledge on this... I am only 21 and he is 25. I am sure that I wont get an oppertunity to discuss this with him before marriage as our families are very religious and strict.

Being as an eldest daughter of my family and I have no intimate girl friends to discuss this matter, please help me by providing some infor on this.

First I want to know what sort of night dress is suitable for my first night? Considering that I am a Muslim girl from a very strong culture and background.

Secondly I am so nerves about thinking a night with a boy, having s*x, and sleeping with him.... Oh... Please help me.. How to control it?

Third, after finishing everything in the first night, I think that I would feel so uncomfortable to face my parents and my sibilings... How to manage this?

I think all my questions were so childish, but the way I was brough up is like that, so please help me to make a good family!!

Answer 1

I feel so sorry for you having to marry someone that you don't get to pick out for yourself or experience falling in love with.  I guess though that being raised Muslim, you are used to this way of life.  Don't be embarrassed to face your parents and siblings the next day.  They are not going to even know if you had s*x.  They will assume it but who knows if it will really even happen.  They man that  you are marrying may just be as scared and nervous about it as you for all you know.  I don't know what proper Muslim night gown attire would consist of but you can probably do a search on the internet.  

I wish you happiness and I hope that the man that was chosen for you to marry is a kind hearted gentle man.  

Answer 2

How cute! Congratulations on your engagement.

You have nothing to be ashamed of. You will be spending your first night with your HUSBAND, so there is nothing to be ashamed about. It's natural to feel a bit embarrased, but cherish the beutiful moment of your first night with your husband in which you will discover what it is to be a woman.

My advice is for you to be yourself. To be tender with your husband and try to relax. the first few times will hurt a little. Do not attempt anything extraordinary the first time, maybe your husband would be puzzled by your attempts...that will come with time. It's ok to learn about s*x and become a skillful lover... but try that on the months/years to follow.

On your wedding night your insticts will take over and everything will come naturally. RELAX, it ok to tell your husband to be gentle the first few times to make you feel more confortable. As fas as atire, well, being from a muslim background I do not know what would be suitable...but it will be simply beautiful to have your hair done and to wear nothing at all. That would be my guess.

CONGRATULATIONS and I wish to happiness and love

Good luck

Answer 3

It's a shame you can not experience true love and falling in love. I can't imagine how hard this must be on you. I can't really give you a lot of advice because I am not familiar enough with your culture but try to stay relaxed and calm. Remember this is your families tradition and they know what is supposed to happen so there is no need for you to be embarassed to face them after that night. It's all a part of life. Enjoy it as much as you can.

~MLF~

Answer 4

I would recommend against worrying too much about what to wear. It's not a real worry most of the time.

And yes, I can sympathize with your nerves, I feel the same way and I, at least, have had a chance to grow close with my fiance. Nor am I looking forwards to the morning afterwards. Let your husband know how you feel. You don't have to mention this before hand, but the evening of is a good time to make sure he knows you're nervous. I'm sure he is too.

Do you have an aunt you could talk to about any of this? Possibly even your mother, I'm sure she felt exactly the same way when she got married.

My other suggestion is to pray on this for strength and ideas.

Congratulations and good luck.

Answer 5

Well, I think all of this is so sweet. You may get some bad answers as many people are not sharing your culture. I think that the element of surprise and wonder are on your doorstep. Life is best when we are traveling and we don't know or understand what is around the corner, but as we are traveling we are awed by it's beauty and moment that it is happening. So just enjoy these things, I am sure that you will be happy and things will all work out. you will be transformed.