My wife's X pictures?

Question

I had found some pictures of my wife's X fiancee and i tossed them in the trash. She later found out and was very upset. Was she upset of the fact that i tossed them with out asking or because they had some sentimental value to her? I know it wasnt the right thing to do, what would anyone else do?

Answer 1

I'm not one of them, but there are many women who would be upset for the sentimental value of having them. It doesn't mean she's still in love with this person but some people like having these pictures. I however got rid of pictures as soon as the relationship was over even if it ended on good terms. I'm just not that sentimental (for better or worse). My husband doesn't have any pics of his exes and I probably would have tossed them out had I found any lol.

Just apologize for getting rid of her things without asking and just say you didn't think it was a big deal but you should have talked to her about it before you got rid of them.

Good luck.

Answer 2

The only reason she would be upset about you tossing the pics is that she still has feelings for this guy.  Why else would she want a visual reminder of him and their relationship hanging around the house.  Do her like you did the pics and toss her in the trash!

Answer 3

Kiko, that sounds like something a woman would do.  You can't act like you've got half a brain, as well.  She wants to count on you to be sensible.

Answer 4

Unless they were on display, I wouldn't care.

She's upset because you were going through her things, with bad intentions or not and made a choice for her.  You took her personal effects, threw them away and then didn't even tell her about it.  Beyond disrespectful.  You were acting like her mother or something.

You would enrage me.  You just don't get it.

Answer 5

I think you did the right thing. You should have done it in front of her though. You should have asked her if she wants the pictures or you.

I don't think it is right to keep pictures/videos/etc from former xs. If someone is keeping them means they still have soft spot for them. They still have feelings and memories that they hold dear. They in other words are involved in what I call cheating in the matters of the heart.

I would dump someone like that in a second.

I know I will get a lot of thumbs down for this posting from women but this is how I and most normal men feel.

Answer 6

Tough spot there, I gotta level with you. I would have done the exact same thing and probably wouldn't have reacted as well as I'm sure you did when she got mad at me doing so. Then again I'm not a very good person. I would probably ask her why this is such a big deal and be prepared for an answer you may not want to hear.

Answer 7

to be honest i still have my ex's pictures and love letters in my old hope chest.i never get into it and my husband knows that they are there.i was a big part of my past,my first true love. i don't want my ex back. i am married w/children and so is he.

one day i might go through it and throw all that stuff away out of my LOVE CHEST as my husband calls it..  

Answer 8

I understand that you'd be frustruated after finding your wife's x fiancee's pics, but if you felt really secure in your relationship and cared about her feelings, you would have approached her and said, "Honey, why are you keeping these pictures around".  These bother me.  "Can we dispose of these now?".  

Answer 9

Like it or not, this man played a huge role in her life, and breaking up with him didn't erase the years that she spent with him or the fact that for a long period, he figured heavily into every significant experience she had. She was planning to spend the rest of her life with him, and changing her mind about that doesn't mean that she's forgotten that he ever existed and doesn't still think about him now and then.

Hopefully, you've learned your lesson. Don't dispose of other people's belongings without asking first, and work on being more secure in your relationship and more trusting of your wife.

Answer 10

You threw away a piece of your wife's past. My guess is that she was keeping them not because she was still in love with him or possibly even for sentimental value. It is just a documentation of who she is. Perhaps a reminder of what she has gone through to be the woman she is today. But my guess is that to her they (the pictures) hold a great value to her. You should have asked first or at the very least discussed it with her.

I have pictures of my ex-husband tucked away in a box that will probably eventually be thrown away. However, I hold on to those pictures not because I still love him. (In fact that is sooo far from the truth I can't even find enough words to express how much I hate that man...) I hold on to them as a reminder of how far I have come in my life and how much happier I am with my current man and the life I have. However, my fiance knows I have the pictures and he respects that I have them. Just as I respect the momentos from his previous marriage.

Answer 11

Throwing the pictures in the bin was like throwing her past away.  I understand why you did so, I think most folk would have reacted as you have.  Give her some time she come round.

Answer 12

The pictures are part of her past and history, you should not thrown them away, after all you got the prize right?  

Answer 13

its probably more for the fact that you did it without asking or telling her. i'm sure there's sentimental reasons as well, but she should be over him and not care about the pics, but i think it's mostly cause you threw away something that was hers without asking

Answer 14

I would have done the same thing. The past is the past. Unless he is deceased she shouldn't have pictures of this man. When she cools down you need to ask her why would she keep pictures of her ex.

Answer 15

good for you. If I found pictures of my husbands ex anywhere I would be furious and hit the bloody roof. Would she like pics of any of your exs about? doubt it. I am not cool with any kind of ex stuff at all and I admit it. He belongs in the trash!!!

Answer 16

u can't win this 1. apologize & forget it.

Answer 17

Why would you do that?

Take off those panties and be a man, this is what women do.

Answer 18

I would have ask her why she's still hanging on to the pics...what you did was wrong so you should apologize to her.  

Answer 19

I would of asked her to please throw them away and if she didn't want to then you have a problem. By doing it behind her back your avoiding what you know is a problem. Just be up-front about the way you feel. Good Luck  

Answer 20

She more than likely thought you didn't care about her opinion in the matter.  ask first, before you act.

Answer 21

well women thinking differently the men.

she was probably upset because you didn't ask her if you could throw them away.

although, i'm almost positive if you would have asked she would have said to toss them.

Answer 22

Why would you do that? She is allowed to have memories and pictures. Doesn't mean she doesn't love you. It's a part of her past that will always be there. Pictures or not.

Answer 23

I guess it would depend on the pictures... are they like prom pictures or some pictures from her family members wedding or something? If nothing about them should be saved for obvious reasons... I can't imagine why she would be upset. I mean if they were just of the ex, whats the big deal?