My wife and I want to adopt a healthy baby of any race but have to wait 7 years because most are now aborted.?

Question

I could not believe that this was how long the waiting list was when we were told but it's true! Turns out 50 MILLION healthy babies have been killed since Roe v Wade and 97% had nothing to do with rape or the mother's health! We can't afford to go over to Africa and buy a baby like Madona or other Hollywood types. What should we do? The only thing we can think of is to vote pro-life and end this senseless slaughter.

Answer 1

Not sure where you got your information, but the wait isn't anywhere near 7 years, especially for the "any race".  

Also, the state is required to pay for medical care of all foster children, so that isn't a worry - they get a medicaid card.  There are about 1/2 million kids in the US that are in foster care just waiting for loving families and don't require anymore money than any other child in your care.  

Just my opinion, but voting pro-life will add to the amount of unwanted kids who currently linger or age out of foster care.

Answer 2

reasons why this question makes me ill...

-50 million healthy babies have been killed...and 97% have nothing to do with rape or the mother's health..

-we can't afford to go over to africa and buy a baby...

-the ONLY THING we can do is vote pro-life and end this senseless slaughter...

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my edit of your statements:

--"i can't believe that women who've not been raped or who's health is not in jeopardy don't stay pregnant, so that *I* can have a child ."

--"i can't afford those african babies, because the price is too high! sort of like a prada handbag!"

--"maybe i'll vote pro-life, and make those s***s stay pregnant and gestate babies so that i don't have to wait 7 whole years. i don't care how uncomfortable pregnancy and childbirth is to them, because i secretly hate them for being able to get pregnant when so many of the "proper women" can't!

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my comments:  

first, did you get those stats out of a cracker-jack box????

seriously, your stats are flawed. the lack of "adoptable babies" is due to several factors, including birth control, abstienence, and parenting.  i have undergraduate non-stat majors who can poke holes in that busted logic!!!

next, how dare you dictate another person's family planning to satisfy your selfish entitlement?!  what gives you the right to legislate what others do with their bodies and their pregnancies.  unless you are unaware, there isn't some existential obligation to gestate a kid, and give it to a stranger just because he or is his wife is unable to have a child! this is not the "handmaid's tale!"

and i won't even comment on the africa and at-risk kids from foster care rant, because i'll most likely violate some arbitrary rule and have my account suspended.

you sadden me.

ps.  i'm so glad that the aparents i know don't feel the way you do.

pss.. i really hope you are a troll. if not, i just want to tell you that election day is DECEMBER 25TH 2008!!! get to the polls early to beat the line so that you can make it back to open your presents....

ETA: wait a tick...

laws in the US are too birthparent focused? so that's the rationale why many have decided to travel to guatamala, russia, or some other third-world , war-torn country to get a kid?  the women can't read or write english, yet they are preferred because pregnant women in the US want to be treated with dignity???...  i quit.

Answer 3

all foster children are NOT at risk. some are simply safely surrendered, or get their parental rights removed (went to jail, etc.) you can become a foster parent and get certified to adopt for your state. you can sit back and wait for a healthy infant to become available. you just wait it out for the one you want. you do not have to have any gender, age, or amount of kids in your home unless YOU choose. people around here adopt infants all the time through the foster system and they are beautiful, healthy babies. you can say no to any at risk baby. of course your blood baby wouldn't be a drug baby (you can say no to those) but your baby could have a mental/physicall illness, nothing is guarenteed in life. plus the state will cover everything while it is not adopted.

Answer 4

I completely disagree.   There are less babies available for adoption because more are now PARENTED.   That is a good thing!

There are, however, plenty of children available for adoption who need, want and deserve a chance in life.

Answer 5

There are 100,000's of children waiting in foster care - waiting for loving families. And they don't cost a whole heap of money.

You also don't mention the FACT that many more young women are keeping and parenting their children - instead of giving them away to complete strangers.

And - guess what - that's BETTER for the child!!!

I'm sorry that it would appear that you can't have a child of your own. But why are you more entitled to a child - that was not born unto you - than it's own mother and father???

Please stop the long-winded stamping of feet - and go and help a child in NEED.

Answer 6

There are also millions of children (of all ages) in foster homes that would love a good home. Instead of being judgmental towards people who knew they could not handle a child and didn't want their potential child to end up in a foster home, try to think of this from the view point of the other person. Most people who get abortions are young and scared. They know having a child at that point in their life would be a mistake. Get off you pedestal and try to remember that you do not get to control everyone else's mind, actions, or bodies.

Answer 7

I don't know where you got your figures on abortion from...but it sure sounds dramatic, doesn't it?  

The reality is that unwed mothers no longer chose adoption as they were once forced to do.  In 1970, 80% of all unwed mom's choose adoption.  By 1983, only 4% of unwed mom's chose adoption.  And THAT probably has a bigger impact on the lack of 'available' babies.  

Fost-adopt children are provided with counseling & medical care up until the time they are adopted.  And even after adoption, many receive continued health services depending on their circumstances.  

If you can't afford the health insurance, perhaps you can't afford to have children.  Children are expensive, you know!  You're not getting a puppy, for goodness sakes! What happens if your "healthy infant" ends up with a serious medical condition?  (God forbid)  Adoption does not guarantee that your "healthy infant" will REMAIN healthy throughout their entire childhood!

I'm sorry that you & your wife are unable to have children.  Truly I am!  I CAN imagine that pain as I faced my own issues with possible infertility early in my life.  

However, that does not entitle you to take someone ELSE'S child just because you want to be parents!  Adoption is supposed to be about providing children with a home, a family and loving parents.  NOT the other way around.  

If I were a mom considering adoption and read your tirade, I would not even consider you as prospective parents for a minute!  

In any case...I wish you and you wife all the best.

PS  For those spouting abortion stats, please provide your source.  

Regarding the statement that women choose abortion over adoption because that's what women told you...At 16, I discovered I was pregnant. I also said I'd have an abortion before I chose adoption.  (I was hormonal, scared, unsure) Instead (of abortion), I chose to HAVE MY CHILD & TO KEEP HER!

Answer 8

the health care for a baby and a foster kid would be the same

Answer 9

You're wrong, and sound as if you feel incredibly entitled to someone else's child.  Do you really think it would be a good thing for you to force a woman to carry a pregnancy to term against her will so she could hand over her child to you?  Really?

There are fewer babies for adoption not because abortion became legal but because most single mothers now keep their children--which they have a perfect right to do, just as a woman has a perfect right to abort whether she was raped or not.  It's really none of your business what a woman you've never met chooses to do with her reproductive life, especially when no crime is committed.  Single motherhood and abortion are not crimes.

Or did you suppose there was a special class of women out there somewhere who had an obligation to provide folks like you with babies?  Because that's certainly how you come off.

Answer 10

There are so many ways you can look at adoption-abortion when trying to connect the two.  For example, I have a close friend who got pregnant while in college.  She didn't want to be a parent.  She chose abortion because she couldn't stand the thought of having a child and giving it away!  Adoption was NEVER going to be an option for her.  For her, the choices were abortion or raise the child.  There was no way of changing that for her.  I have heard other women say the same.  So, there's not a whole lot of standard scenarios when trying to compare adoption vs. abortion.  There's more to it.  

So, since the 1970's, there has been the increasingly wide availability of birth control, s*x education and a decrease in the social stigma of raising one's own child.  Yes, many women are actually choosing to, and being allowed to, raise their own children.  These have had major impacts on the number of babies available for adoption.  (Even writing it out sounds like supplying a product to fulfill a demand.  Yech.)

In a perfect world, there would be no children available for adoption.  All natural parents would be capable of raising, and allowed to raise, their own children.  I know that isn't going to set well with a lot of people, but let's face it, wouldn't we rather see all children born into families that can and do raise them?

Answer 11

I highly doubt your sensationalist story contains actual facts, one; don't knock international adoption, because it's not "buying kids" anymore then domestic adoption; two, look at the drop in crime rate in the early 90's it can be linked to the passage of Roe V. Wade, which is to say that the babies that are aborted most would have been born to women who either can't or don't have any interest in raising a child. and for once, consider becoming a foster parent, and helping kids that way, if you don't want to put in the effort and time into that...well it speaks volumes, that you wouldn't put the time and effort into raising//helping an older child but want a cute little baby to dote on. really, anti-abortion rhetoric has no place here.

Answer 12

There are lots of lists of currently pregnant women that are looking for adoptive parents.  There are tons of agencies that only work with Domestic Adoption.  While it is expensive, if you are able to have a special needs or baby of a minority race then your wait can be as short as 1 month.  Have you completed the home study?  How many agencies have you talked to?  Do a little research and you will understand that it doesn't take 7 years to adopt.

Answer 13

Amen to that.  In the meanwhile, why don't you look into being a foster parent and contribute to a childs life in a positive way until you have/find your own.  

You will get all the blessings.

Answer 14

And Thank God for that or there would be 50 Million now sitting is foster care. Are you kidding me.. There are not enough potential parents as it is to even put a dent in the number of unwanted children in foster care and group homes. Since you don't want to wait on a baby, or go to Africa what about fostering to adopt.

Answer 15

If you cannot afford health care, you should not raise a child.  

I am so tired of all the "set up" questions on this board.  (Is this one?)

Answer 16

So you wish there were more unwanted babies out there with no homes, who were neglected or abused and now need placement with someone other than their birth parents?

There's a seven year wait if you want an INFANT. You can adopt a child in as little as a six months if you go through the right avenues. Most people want to adopt, but don't want a child that's already been raised by someone else or been in foster care. How selfish.

Answer 17

finally someone realizes that abortion has caused infant adoptions to be few and far between-   4,000 abortions a day in the USA which the majority are just because a woman decides they cannot raise a child.  I do have a suggestion though- even 19 years ago when my husband and I adopted our first child, it was a 5-7 year wait- with social services- I would suggest that you go through an adoption attorney, that is what we wound up doing, and the wait was not as long. However, it is so sad the number of abortions. 4,000 babies a day-  What is happening to loving the child?

And by the way, for those who say that there are no statistics to show abortion is so high, and thus makes it harder to adopt-there are- and besides I have a personal experience with the truth- I counseled women for over 10 years, that were considering abortion,and almost every woman I talked to said "they would rather abort than place for adoption"- and there were a lot that did that.

wow people are really into giving thumbs down to people who have personal experience in this area- interesting!!!

Answer 18

Truly this must be a sick, vile joke, right?

Are you suggesting women must be incubaters to produce babies against their will?

Are you protesting the thoughtless procedure thousands of infertile women are undergoing to "selectively reduce" the excess embryos created through frankenscience?

Spare me. the whining about 50 million babies.

YOU WISH you could buy a baby like Madonna and other Hollywood types?  wow. I thought the buying and selling of people while erasing identities and creating fake ones were ended with the abolition of slavery, but no. It's just marketed as sunshine and rainbows now.

Answer 19

I was pregnant and found a wonderful family to adopt my 9lb baby boy. and do you know that I hear more often than not "how could you give your baby away?"  BECAUSE IT WAS THE BEST THING I HAVE EVER DONE.... This just pisses me off that you have to go through this. sorry

I really hope you get a baby and don't give up hope because this family I found had no clue I was on my path to thier life. It was all by chance and God I believe. best wishes to you.

Answer 20

So... what's your question?  BTW if you didn't limit yourselves to "healthy" babies you could get one sooner.  Adopting a special needs baby could be for you.

Answer 21

There are no statistics that support your theory.  Maybe people aren't aborting their children but parenting them.  That's supposed to be a good thing, a child staying with his or her parents.

Another  much larger factor in lowered adoption rates is the current ideals towards, birth control, safe s*x and s*x education.  Should we do away with that too in order to make sure that couples who want a child get one?

The truth is that the market for healthy babies has dried up considerably due to many factors.  It is unfair to single out one just to prove a point.

I think if you really want a child in your life, you should rethink your ideas of what child is acceptable to adopt.  There are many deserving children who are not medically "at-risk" who need a stable home with loving parents.

Answer 22

Then have your OWN baby!  

No one OWES you a baby!

Answer 23

I find it hard to believe you would have to wait this long even more that you are not picky about the race of the baby.  I would look at some other agencies, even consider adoption through the foster care system.

Answer 24

I can't believe people like you are allowed to vote.

I am assuming this is a troll, or a very bored 12 year old waiting for winter break to be over with.

Answer 25

i am pro-life.. i feel it is appalling that this still takes place when contraceptive`s are plentiful..i wish you all the luck finding your child.. he or she is out there somewhere waiting to be chosen by you....those are the lucky babies.. the ones that are chosen into a family.. those are the blessed ones..

Answer 26

You could check into Foster adopt.  There are a lot of children already born that need homes.  There are kids of all ages, all races, and with varied backgrounds.  These are kids that belong to mothers that did not abort but made poor parenting choices and now the kids are paying the price.  Don't be too picky all children are blessings and all kids bring joy!!!

EDIT~~

If you get a child from foster care that has medical needs, you will get to keep Medicaid on the child until the age of 18.  Often you will get a financial subsidy as well.  So that should not be an issue.  Besides there are a lot of children in foster care that have no medical condition, it sounds to me like you are being a bit to picky.  If you really want a child you are not so choosy!!  All kids need love and if you were to have your own child there is no picking and choosing.  There are a lot of people raising their own bio children that have medical issues.

Answer 27

We already had 3 children when we went to adopt a 4th, so we looked into "at risk" adoptions.  Parents wait up to 7 years to adopt "healthy" babies, but there is a steady stream of babies that go homeless because they are "at risk", possibly with health problems, genetic risks, or legal risks.

Joe was born with bilateral atresia and microtia of both ears. He basically had no ears, and it was unknown if he would be basically deaf, or to what degree he would be hearing impaired.  He has been wearing vibration type hearing aids since he was 9 months old, he recently graduated to "baha".

He's a junior in college now, studying to be a teacher.  He hears well enough that his speech is normal, and he can talk the leg off a chair.  We are so proud of him.

Answer 28

You should check into foster care...where I live the children's health care is covered (if you choose) till they are 19 years of age!~

Answer 29

You are sooooooooooooo right.

Answer 30

First off change your attitude about adoption. I don't know where you're getting your facts but they are very wrong. First of all you don't have to be rich to adopt. Secondly adoption is NOT baby buying. You buy shoes. You buy a car. you do NOT buy children. Thirdly, there are thousands of healthy infants legally placed for adoption through agencies and independently every year. More than 120,000 children are adopted annually in the US and a fourth of those are infants.

Answer 31

So what would happen then if all these women went on birth control, practiced abstinence, etc.   Then there'd be no babies to abort and no more to adopt. You'd still be in the same boat.

Id say if you are truly pro-life, be pro-life to an older child, or not perfectly healthy child.  They are still alive.  Think of that.

IF YOU CANNOT AFFORD HEALTH CARE, DONT ADOPT A CHILD.  No wonder you're still on a waiting list.  Do you beleive every unhealthy child starts out unhealthy.  This denseness and lack of financial resources obvisously has more to to with your wait.  Hope its a long, long, long time.