My wife and I were in an automobile accident 15 months ago?

Question

I was the driver and unfortunately she was the one left paralyzed instead of me. Despite being depressed with feelings of guilt, I have managed to be a good husband to her and have helped her to become self-sufficient despite her limitations. Unfortunately, I have sexual urges that she can no longer fulfill. Do you think it is morally wrong that I have a mistress that she is unaware of? I don't love the mistress like I love my wife, but I am young and still have needs.

Answer 1

Jeremy, Jeremy,Jeremy, what to do with such a knuckle head...  You survive with your wife a horrendous car accident and you are looking to get lucky with someone who is not your wife. It seems disgusting that you are being so selfish. Can't you find some p**n on the internet or a mag or something to take care of yourself instead of bringing another person into your life for a little s*x. Leaving your wife in the dust is not a good idea.

Answer 2

If your wife says it's ok for you to have a mistress, then it's ok.  If you intend on sneaking around behind her back like a lily-livered coward, then it's not ok.  Since you say you, "don't love the mistress like I love my wife", apparently you've already made your decision.  However, if your wife were to find out about the other woman tomorrow, would she be ok with it or would it break her heart?  If you truly were, "depressed with feelings of guilt", you'd remember your wedding vows--in sickness and in health, for better or worse.  What, she's not the freak she was before the auto accident in which YOU were the driver, and for that you cheat on her?  What a prize you are!  

Answer 3

It's not morally wrong if your wife doesn't know about it.

Answer 4

Please see a professional counselor for the answer to this question.  You have other issues besides just physical that need to be addressed.  And you don't want to do something that will add to your feelings of guilt.

My prayers are with you both.  This is a terrible situation and much too complicated for this forum.  Please get some help.

Answer 5

Well you are going to do this anyways why ask us what to do?  Make sure the mistress knows that she is only s*x and nothing more or you will have your hands full

Answer 6

YES! I think it's wrong you married her for better or worse... and I'm sorry that this happen to your family but there are others ways she can fulfill your needs I'm sure.  She still has her right side right???? Can she talk as well? Stop being self fish

Answer 7

What happened to the "for better or for worse, in sickness and in health" ????  Remember that phrase in your vows--they mean just that...that you will love her and be faithful "forsaking all others" UNCONDITIONALLY.

No mistress...you have other ways of taking care of your business!!!

Answer 8

Its wrong that you are cheating on your wife

but its understandable

still its wrong

if you loved her you wouldn't hurt her

Answer 9

Wow, what a scumbag....

First you paralyze her, now you want to have an affair behind her back? WHAT'S NEXT?!

Full of sh*t........

Answer 10

If she can be self sufficient, I am sure, that if you loved her, the 2 of you could find ways to satisfy each other. Intimacy isn't all about s*x. There are many ways to fulfill needs, and my guess is that you haven't even discussed this with her, to see how SHE feels about not being able to be satisfied herself. The act of s*x is 95% mental, and 5% physical. You need to see a counselor, and stop cheating on your wife. She is the one dealing with, and trying to learn how to live with her disabilities. Cheating is NEVER the answer. YOU need to seek help in learning ways to be intimate with your wife. YOU and your so called 'needs' make me want to vomit. You are NOT a good husband, if you are having your sexual urges met by a mistress. How the h**l do you think your WIFE feels......since you cant fulfill her needs of intimacy any longer? Just because part of her body is paralyzed, doesn't mean that her heart is paralyzed, nor her mind. If you cant be her husband 100%, than do her a favor, leave. She will be far better off with out a your type of a 'good husband'

Answer 11

I think she will understand.

Answer 12

You want to know if it is morally wrong, YES, it is wrong.  Being unfaithful to your wife for any reason is morally wrong.  I am sorry that you are in this situation and I suggest to you that you get some help to see you through this.  

Answer 13

Yes, it is absolutely morally wrong.

Answer 14

Ok.. so if she's paralyzed, can she still be intimate with you?  If you really love your wife, and you're not just using her injury as an excuse to cheat, why don't you ask her to experiment with different ways of being more intimate?  Just because she's paralyzed, doesn't mean she's lost ALL feeling.  Maybe she can still kiss and cuddle.  Maybe she can still use her hands (if she's not quadriplegic) and mouth, and maybe you can still have intercourse.  

Apparently Christopher Reeve and his wife still found ways to be intimate after he was totally paralyzed.