My wife and i are divorced she wants to home school i want public any Suggestions?

Question

My wife and i are divorced she wants to home school i want public any Suggestions?

Answer 1

Sounds like a legal question.  If the public schools are good I prefer those over home schooling.  Children are better prepared for higher education, socializing with peers and entrance to college.  (college psych prof)

Answer 2

Homeschooling is generally better for children, so I would lean toward support her decision to homeschool them.

Here is some information homeschool statistics:

http://www.successful-homeschooling.com/...

homeschooling benefits:

http://www.successful-homeschooling.com/...

homeschooling disadvantages:

http://www.successful-homeschooling.com/...

pros and cons of homeschooling:

http://www.successful-homeschooling.com/...

Homeschooling is probably very different than what you always imagined for your child, but if you give it a try, you will probably be pleased with the outcomes.  My husband was hesitant about homeschooling at first, now he wouldn't have things any other way.

Answer 3

  look at the good and the bad, the ups and downs ,you both have to decide ,research  

Answer 4

There are a number of issues to consider.  

Which parent do they live with--if they live with one most of the time, that parent will have the best idea of how to meet the needs of the children.  If custody is shared, and the children bounce from one home to another, homeschooling may make things easier as they won't have to worry so much about losing work in transition and such; then again, public school might give them a break from strife in the home.

Many children going through divorce have a lot of anger and other issues that public school doesn't give them time to deal with.  Often such children will sabotage their own education in a classroom setting in an attempt to get even with parents that they are angry with, or to get more attention from them.  Homeschool will give the children time, when needed, to work on these problems without penalizing them because of missed classtime.  They can use literature and other studies to investigate constructive ways to deal with the issues that they are experiencing, and use their education time to help them deal with the huge family issues that they are dealing with.

Another concern is stability.  Where are they currently?  It may be better to leave them in their current educational environment, so that there is something in their world that isn't being radically changed.

Another issue is what do the children want?  If their feelings aren't taken into account, at least considered, any decision may cause more harm than good.  If the children want to be homeschooled, you might make your relationship with them more difficult if you hinder it.  If they want to be in public school, then you need to consider why, are their reasons healthy ones?

Yet another issue is the current relationship between you and your wife.  Will she be able to refrain from indoctrinating them into thinking that you are the sole bad guy in the situation?  If she can't behave in that way, I could see pushing for a more neutral school environment.  But if you can rationally discuss this issue with her, you may be able to work something out.

Homeschooling has been shown, on average, to produce students with a better overall education, so it would be good for them.  And it would make it easier for them to visit the other parent, since they wouldn't be bound to school schedules in the same way; they could come and visit for a week or two, even though public schools are in session.

Answer 5

I would suggest getting the opinions of the child(ren), but that depends on their ages. All of u sit down together and explain the pros and cons of both homeschooling and public school. Think about your child(ren)s learning styles and finances. Does one of you have the time to homeschool? Think about your public school in that area and if its a safe, clean, educational school thats right for them. Not all schools are the same. What school have they gone to before now and should they continue to be educated there? Well in my opinion its a very important decision to make and I wish you all the best of luck. Take care.  

Answer 6

Is your wife willing to home school your children? If so I would encourage you not to put the children in the middle of it. Allow your ex-wife to try and give her all the support she needs to this. I believe in home school and your children will profit from it. You and your ex-wife will both need to make a commitment to do this together. Another positive side of this is that home school is flexible with both of your schedules. What I am saying is that you can even take a turn and help them with their home schooling. What a great way to spend time with your children and build a solid relationship with them. Children that are in the middle of a divorce situation some times feel left out of one parents life or the other. Use this to your advantage and be a part of their schooling.  I encourage you to make amends with your ex-wife and put the children first. You can both do it and do it together. This will teach your children even though you and your ex-wife have differences you can forgive and work together. Please let me know if I can be of further help to you or you ex-wife. I have a web site that I have dedicated to helping parents that desire to home school their chlidren.  You may e-mail through my web site listed below. Have a nice day.

Answer 7

Go with homeschool.

Thats my honest suggestion, homeschoolers do better academically, have healthier social skills, less peer pressure, less into fads, become more independent thinkers, and are actively sought after by the top colleges in the country.

If you still have a problem with it, then I have a question:

Who do the kids live with?  That person should decide since they will be the one to deal with the day-to-day results of the decision.

EDIT----EDIT-----EDIT

I forgot to give you links to studies that support what I said, here they are:

http://www.hslda.org/docs/study/rudner19...

http://www.hslda.org/docs/nche/000010/20...

http://www.hslda.org/research/ray2003/de...

http://www.hslda.org/docs/study/comp2001...

http://www.nheri.org/

Byn Famous, what studies do you refer to?  Please do supply links for them.

Answer 8

The main question is, who do they live with? If her then I think you really need to look very honestly at WHY you don't want your children homeschooled because I'm afraid I've heard of far too many causes where an ex has made a fuss about the issue just to make life hard for the parent with custody. Are you opposed to homeschooling on principal or do you just think your ex won't be any good at it?

p.s. Byn Famous - care to link to this research? because every single study I've come across has said the exact opposite.

Answer 9

Homeschooling is a great option. Why fight about it? I'm sure there will be bigger issues down the road that you feel strongly about. I would let her do it, after all...she's lost you. And that's sad for everyone involved-all of you.

If you are concerned about their education,  ask that they continue to take standardized testing each year and realize that they may not score perfectly but if they score adequate then that's good.

They lost there dad from the  divorce-don't take them away from their mom too.

Answer 10

Hello,

Please understand you are in the Home school section. I support home schooling and if your wife is willing and able to do the work required, then definitely home school. You would truly have to educate yourself on what this means though. Don't go by stereotypes and what you have heard. Home schooling has been wonderful for our family! My oldest was just excepted to do classes at our local community college at 16 and will "graduate" high school with her AA degree.

Whatever you do, don't let this be a power struggle between you and your wife. Work it out together like adults for your children's sake.

Good luck!

Answer 11

You should support your wife in this.  She obviously has your children's best interests at heart.  

Homeschooling is best for kids for many reasons.  Check out Thrice Blessed answer.  I won't repeat it here.

I homeschool 3 kids.  Although it is a challenge, my kids are worth it.  And they are my kids, not the governments.  

Answer 12

First, I think you both should look seriously at both options. Why is she choosing homeschooling? Why do you want public schooling? Are either of you making your decisions on well researched information? Have you both really listened to each other and your points of view--really listened and not been defensive?

Once the research is done, if the two of you still don't agree, and your wife has full custody, then she can freely homeschool. You don't have to agree with her, there's no real legal recourse since you wouldn't be able to meddle in the choice of private school or other program either. I'm assuming you don't have full custody otherwise it would be very odd of her to want you to homeschool--or for her to homeschool them despite you having full custody. If you have shared custody, switching between houses, I would actually be against homeschooling in this case--it would be like giving her full-time custody, which just isn't right imho.

ADDED:

I have yet to see actual research showing that homeschooling creates social problems. The college prof had better provide some actual links or research to provide backup to the statement "Children are better prepared for higher education, socializing with peers and entrance to college." Harvard (I believe, could be another top-notch school) has a specific minimum quota of homeschoolers to accept each year--they, with their many college profs, do not feel the students (many of them younger than 18) are less prepared; nor do the many, many successful homeschoolers and the many researchers. Only somebody who has no real knowledge of homeschooling could say such a thing.

Answer 13

How old is/are the child/children? If they're over say.. 4th grade or so, then they should definitely have a say in the choice. Actually, they're opinions should be the main deciding factors. If you really think that the children would do better in public school, and your ex refuses to even consider it, you might think about talking to a legal figure?

Answer 14

Studies show that public school children grow up to be better in social situations than those that are homeschooled.

But, I've been homeschooled the past 3 years, and have never had in issue socializing.  

Answer 15

Homeschooling would be better.

They come out better off academically, and Socially.

And you can teach your child the stuff he/she needs to do to get into the job of their choice. (Makes sense?)

When I was at public school I didn't learn much, and I hated it and I was always so tired!

Now that I'm home schooled I'm doing so much better.

Socially and academically.  

Answer 16

Your wife has probably come to this conclusion for a reason. If you are concerned about your children, and not viewing this as 'you v your ex' you'll go and ask to write you a list of all the books, websites etc that helped her reach her decision, and you'll read them ALL. You'll get a good idea of why she's doing things that way instead of some other way. That would be the mature thing to do. If you want to have some control over your kids' education, you are much more able to do that if she's homeschooling than if they are at a public school. If you read her list of resources and find you agree after all, you are in a position where you can research and put in your opinion about subjects to study and what resources you think are best, you can educate yourself about child development and express concern that she's pushing them a bit too hard, you can express concern if they are not achieving well with a particular program and recommend another. You can suggest you take care of science so she has more time to focus on other subjects, you can read their essays, take them to the library, study their foreign language so you can support them, etc, etc.

You won't do well if you try and behave like Big Brother, but any wife, ex or current, and any child will achieve better if you are supporting and involved. This is a good way of making sure you keep up a relationship with your kids. Divorced dads often don't, because they don't know how, or what to talk to their kids about. You will be a miserable bloke if you don't keep your relationship with them too. With your ex homeschooling, you can find out what they've been up to, you'll know what to talk to them about, and IMPORTANTLY, it can give you something positive to say about their mum. You may think she's Cruella de Ville, but your kids don't need to hear about it. You can say things like "aren't you lucky to have a mum who is clever at maths," "Mum is teaching you to cook, eh? Well you've got a good teacher, she's always been a good cook." Etc.

Think about it. You can't disagree properly until you have access to the same info she has. She already knows why she disagrees with you. If you are going to disagree with her, make sure it's for the right reasons. The only way you can do that is if you educate yourself on this homeschooling gig. The others have talked about the benefits to the kids. I wanted you to think about the benefits to you.