My wife filed 4 a divorce and I can prove there is another man...?

Question

This is some serious emotional time for me... Please no punches folks, I've been hurt enough already... Any free legal advice anyone could give me, or tell me how to save my marriage?

I've been married to my wife for 25 yrs. and now she filed for a no-fault divorce because she cheated on me and found another man. I'm so depresses and my mind is going every which way!!! I still love her with all my heart!!! ( I know, sick right?) even though I know she is leaving me and cheated on me with another man, I STILL LOVE HER AND DON'T WANT TO LOSE HER. She has no clue I know the truth. She just told me she just fell out of love with me for about the past year. This happens to be the same time in which she has been seeing this other guy off and on.

Anyone with some serious advice out there???

Answer 1

Been there.. and no, you don't love her... you love what she was ONCE, and you love what you and she had ONCE, and that is gone.

The bright side?  You are likely 50 ish.... and sweetie, there are just tons of women who want a faithful loving guy.... tons.  you can't get her back, and betrayal is the deal buster, sweetie, I promise.... just in case you didn't know, only 20 % of marriage with betrayal last even 2 years, and that is with both in counseling, and both hoping to save it... that, hon is an F in school, and gotta be an F in life.

After this rather soaks in, and you accept that it is over, meet some great women.... and write when that happens, and I'll give you help

Answer 2

Get some balls man!  Stop acting like a p***y!  I hate p***y whipped little boys.  Get over it and get on with your life.  Let her give her butt to whoever she wants.  An unfaithful woman is a scum!  Mine did that to me and I told her to F off!  Yea she filed divorce to and I didn't care.  Once a woman cheats, it's essentially over. They will only do it again!  I ended up marrying a beautiful 22 year old virgin and had my first child with her (I am 48).  There are many more fish in the sea, a lot younger, better looking, and more faithful than her.  Get some guts!

Answer 3

My suggestion, if she will talk to you, is to find out what made her fall out of love with you. My husband and I just went through the exact same thing so I can relate to her and to you. I was the one telling my husband that I had fallen out of love with him and wasn't attracted to him any longer. I had cheated on him. Well we split up for 7 months while I was out seeing other guys and stuff. We have 3 kids together so I still had to see and talk to him about the kids. Well we still would talk on IM and text messages and stuff like that. In that 7 months he built up and enormous am out of self confidence. We eventually talked and worked through everything. I don't want to continue in personal details on a public board so you can contact me directly if you would like.

Answer 4

Get a decent inexpensive attorney. Take advantage of your wife's guilt about her affair to make sure she signs a fair divorce settlement without arguing.  Split things 50-50, pay standard child support if there are minor children, don't agree to alimony, and let the attorney do the paperwork. The faster it goes, the less it costs. You can get out of this for under $1000 or be like me and get out of it for $40,000.

When we're divorcing, it feels like it's all about the emotions. The divorce process itself is just about dividing assets and time with kids, and you will be glad in a year if you've done everything you can now to keep legal expenses down and to make sure you get a fair deal. Keeping legal expenses down might be more important.

Answer 5

Confront her. You have too get everything out. You'll either save the marriage or finish it off. At this point you have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

Answer 6

Let her go, s*** happens, move on.  Be glad you had the 25 years, a lot of relationships are lucky to last 5.  If you had kids, they are up and gone, they will understand that people grow apart.  Sure you feel bad, but she isn't worth it, she cheated on you, there has been another man in her bed, do you really want anything to do with her after that.  Your a man, there are other fish in the sea, don't worry, they all cheat at one point or another, so what do you have to lose, it is the way of the world.  Take your heart, lock it away, and go after some other stray!

Answer 7

It happened to me too after 19 years.  It was hard as h**l to let her go, and I thought of her 1000 times a day, every day.  

Unfortunately, the courts really don't like to visit the issue of cheating, as that would take up WAY too much time.  So, you really don't have much legal recourse there  And, if she did come back, could you ever trust her again?

I found it best to just let her go.  I pity the poor b*****d that got stuck with her.

Answer 8

first let me tell u how sorry i am, and i know your pain.when we get kicked to the curb for no good reason it gives us such a emotional wound that the grief can sometimes be overwhelming.the grief will take some time to work through, i loved my ex also when he left to live with her, destroying my whole life. unfortunately there isn't much u can do about it, because when a person doesn't want u for whatever reason u have to accept it and let them go.now is the time u will need a support system of close friends, maybe a support group of others who have been there also.even if you told her that u knew it might open up another can of worms for u to have to deal with, like a  personal attack on u.accept it, its not u, whatever caused it, it was within her.in times like this the only way out is prayer.if she has filed for divorce, she has made up her mind. just try to get out of this with your dignity, and don't let her see u hurting, because it will hurt u more when u see she doesn't care about your pain.things happen for a reason and we can't always see why things happen, just accept it, move on, and know theres someone out there for u, u will be happy again one day.

Answer 9

you have to let her go. even though you still love, she doesn't love you. also, she doesn't deserve you. you know what she did is wrong.  

Answer 10

You have to gut it out man. F her! She did you wrong! Get even by having a happy life without her sorry cheating ***.

Answer 11

I cannot tell you what to do...

But I can tell you what I would do...

I would take him for everything he's worth and move on because I deserve better than a person who does not respect me enough to keep their pants on and keep BOTH of us safe from disease...

You deserve BETTER.

Life is NOT over - it is just the beginning.

Good luck.