My wife is a pathologist and make twice as much money as I do. I feel like a complete loser. what should I do?

Question

My wife is a pathologist and make twice as much money as I do. I feel like a complete loser. what should I do?

Answer 1

Its OK! Just be glad you guys are apparently rich and do as us girls used to do when we were more oppressed and go shopping!!!

But seriously, it is OK. I think that maybe some self validation would be good. Not all of us are lucky enough to be pathologists, but you are lucky enough to have one love you. So you must be worth quite a bit!

Also is there some purpose in your life that you have not tapped into yet?

I actually am a woman and I was the breadwinner of our family for a very long time. My husband's day finally came! He is now the wealthy one. But until then he felt the same way. I never realized how much men need to feel like the earners or the protectors until about 8 years into me being the one doing this. He really was quite upset for a while and felt very insecure and bad about his own accomplishments. Then one night he told me he had figured out his purpose which turned out to be a type of charity work. It really helped him. He won awards for this work and everything.

Now he is the earner, not in the charity, but just in his regular life. So I guess if you put osme positive energy out there, what goes around comes around and you will not feel so bad. Until then yep, its uh shopping that may help a bit! Eating icecream, and just trying day by day not to compare yourself to others just be yourself! I am sure your wife loves you and is lucky to have such a sensitive man in her life!

Answer 2

be the cuckolded husband. it's not bad though. my brother makes no money and is totally dependent on his wife. He' fine with it because regular employment is beneath him.

Answer 3

Well what do you do?  If you have a rewarding job (like a teacher, not a janitor), then you shouldn't feel inadequate.

Answer 4

I have seen couples where marriages ended over a difference in wage of 5 cents......You need to define your self worth differently, not in money, but in skills, roles, personality assets.  Think about your role in the marriage...things you do vs. your wife....how do you contribute to the relationship?  If she has brought this up to you, that's a different problem.  Then I would suggest maritial therapy.  Good luck to you!  (psychologist)

Answer 5

Get closer to your wife. It should (it SHOULDN'T) be a security issue, it should be a satisfaction issue. Which of your needs are not satisfied?  Pardon me, it should NOT be a security issue, because there is no threat. Your wife is a win, not a loss.

'

Maslow saw human beings' needs arranged like a ladder. The most basic needs, at the bottom, were physical -- air, water, food, s*x. Then came safety needs -- security, stability -- followed by psychological, or social needs -- for belonging, love, acceptance. At the top of it all were the self-actualizing needs -- the need to fulfill oneself, to become all that one is capable of becoming. Maslow felt that unfulfilled needs lower on the ladder would inhibit the person from climbing to the next step. Someone dying of thirst quickly forgets their thirst when they have no oxygen, as he pointed out. People who dealt in managing the higher needs were what he called self-actualizing people. Benedict and Wertheimer were Maslow's models of self-actualization, from which he generalized that, among other characteristics, self-actualizing people tend to focus on problems outside of themselves, have a clear sense of what is true and what is phony, are spontaneous and creative, and are not bound too strictly by social conventions.

Peak experiences are profound moments of love, understanding, happiness, or rapture, when a person feels more whole, alive, self-sufficient and yet a part of the world, more aware of truth, justice, harmony, goodness, and so on. Self-actualizing people have many such peak experiences.

'

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abraham_Mas...

Answer 6

Dont feel like that.

That is the worse feeling to feel in life.

I learned this in my psychology class today by the way...

The best reason to explain is if you tell yourself this more

as you get older you go through a Stage

It usually happens with males more than females

because females dont feel as bad because most of the time

they are stay home mothers and have a lot to look forward too in life.

If you feel this way you can feel as if you are going to have

a Mid life crysis in life sooner than you expect.

You are letting yourself down.

try your best to stay positive....

You shouldnt do nothing but try your hardest

and show people you are trying and what you do counts.

Being negative kind of "trains" your brain to go downhill...

its hard these days to not be negative.. and im sure we all understand

But you truly have to try your best in life

just like the rest of us.

Im sure your wife doesnt mind either because your married

and marriage is 2 lives as One.... not you alone

Dont single yourself out hun...

:] I really hope i helped.

I forgot the name of the name of the Stage

it was a weird name but its still being looked at today :)

Kit

Answer 7

I don't think there is much you can do.