My wife is having an affair do I tell his wife? continued?

Question

Hey everyone I did not expect the repsonses so quick thank you. i am really beside myslef and dont know how to reply ion the same blog.. but never the less a question came in about my stats I am 38 year old 5'10 brown hair , hazel eyes and weigh at 198 lbs I m well educated and work for one the big three in an executive position. hope that helps. as for the rest I found out on 7/23/08 that she filed for divorce. I know I am better and eserve better , but the feelings of a marriage failing and the kids involved is pulling on my heart. I see how she has changed with this surgery and am holding on to the old her. She has meet the first guy she had an affaur with at a car accident and he is a fireman as stated earlier he has a wife and a 2.5 year old. She has meet tow others through myspace and is also sleeping with them both are married also.. the fourth is not married but she is saying all the same things to them . I have gathered all I need and still do. I gave my lawyer the information he said it wont help the divorce as michigan is a no fault state, but it will help show her moral issues and question her morals with the kids. it could help me with settling or with custody.

She has told me that I cannot tell anyone. she is so afraid on how she would look infront of her religious family as she has already made it all sound like me and that i am such a bad person. it takes to and i accept that , but she has no problem dragging me through the mudd and her comming out looking rosy.

You all are great and yes its a tough situation. I am still tossed as she feels it was ok and jsutified and that it was not a break of vows if she feels t was over with uot discussing it with me. I am afraid she has cought something and will pass it on and all i can think of is my kids and the poor woves that have kids. wat if they catch something and I could of prevetned it. I am tempted to put all letters and information in a envelope and sned it to the addresses I have gatherd and have the wives ( i found their names) sign for them.

Im not trying to be hatefull , but how dare her put my family though this and how dare her play it off as its between her and I as I feel its not betwen us any more as she involved others. The myspace people ( not all) are out there for one thing mainly and she is using her new looks to make up for lost time or as she said live like a thin girl and make up for all she couldnt have. she is gine all the time and she doesnt make time for the kids and has become a perosn i dont know. I retained a lawyer also. it was 6000 upfront but he said he will fight for me and my son.

Answer 1

Good for you ! I am proud of you for making a stand .

If she was so worried about how all of this would look to her religious

family , it seems to me that she would not have done it in the first place . I also find it odd that at first when you confronted her she said it was between her & God and now all of a sudden it is just between you and her .

She knows that she has done wrong and she knows that she is about to loose her panties ( no pun intended ) in the divorce .

I really believe that if it were me I would do just what you said . Get together all of the information that you have make copies of all of the proof that you have and send it on to the wives . Definitely send it certified .

But what ever you do do not add any little notes in there to them , send only the information that you have . If you add any little notes she can come back onto you saying that you are making derogatory comments about her .

Put your mind at ease , you are not being hateful , you are simply doing what you have to do to protect you and your son .

In the end every one will see that you are not the one at fault , she is .

And if they still try to blame you simply ignore them and know that you have done the right thing .

I hope & pray that your lawyer will get you every thing ( and then some ) that you deserve .

I know all of this is weighing heavy on you but you have to keep telling yourself that you are not the one that caused this she is and now that you are doing some thing about it you and your son will find the happiness that you deserve .

Going through a divorce is very difficult especially when children are involved but you will get through it just fine . It will just take a little time .

I wish you all of the best .

Answer 2

Is blackmail legal in Michigan? Her family is religious you say?

It is kind of hot though, four guys?

Send me her picture at [e-mail]

Answer 3

i feel 4 u buddy, don't get played like that. tell her family & all your friends what kinda s**t she is. if u don't she's gonna drag it n court & make it look like every thing is your fault.i've been there!

Answer 4

This sucks man, I feel for you. But it is time to move on. You sound like a cool cat so it is your wife's loss. Tell her to kick rocks. Go see an attorney and get your response into the court asap. You can use the cheating against her, this will allow you to save some bucks in spousal support and child support. You may even be able to swing full custody of the children (because obviously she has some decision making problems).

It might be a good idea to seek counseling as well. For yourself and the children. It will help!

Who cares about the guys your wife is nailing. Use your time to enjoy your new life and cope. Spend as much time as you can with your kids, they will need someone to be there for them and structure. Also, don't talk trash about mom in front of them or allow anyone else to do so. It sucks, but be the good guy as it will pay off. Right the tramp off, she left you for another dude, you're better than that so move on.

Your attorney will help you out,  

Answer 5

i think u should just leave it alone. tell the right person and that is your lawyer.  Her dangerous behavior is bound to catch up with her on its on.   I know u are bitter but god can take care of things alot better than u can.  Tell her to be careful because u have kids and u are concerned for her safety.  She is searching for something and it has nothing to do with u.  be patient, prayerful, and happy that us are not stuck in this situation, and that it is not u.  But just as someone who is suffering from an physical illiness, she needs some understanding, because she is suffering.

Answer 6

Leave her sorry *** man and try to get custody of your son, and get child support from your sorry azz wife. Good luck

Answer 7

GOOD FOR YOU!

You and your family deserve better, it sounds like you have everything in order...

I would tell the wives and let the c**p fall where it may.

Myspace might as well be a sight for "s****s" to hook up, doesn't seem to matter to many whether you are married or not...

My husband found a "tramp" on there too!

Answer 8

no i wouldn't tell the wife you know the pain you are going through why drag others into it, she will figure it out on her own and then she will deal with it, just take care of your own situation and get on with your life for your son's sake

Answer 9

You deserve better...And so do the other victims.

I hope you get away from this woman and all of the pain she has cause your family.

Good luck.

Answer 10

My son is going through a similar situation. His wife's family is very religious and he just found out that is son doesn't have the same DNA as he has! She's scared sh*tless that her family, who has spent a lot of money on attorneys, will find out.

I've been telling him to fight fire with fire (sorry about the pun). If she is bad-mouthing you, you have the right to defend yourself. Why should you protect this woman who has no morals or values? I hope you get custody of the kids. Too bad both of these low-lifes have children. They don't deserve parents like that. I wish you the best.

Answer 11

I never read your first post but this lady sounds like a very bad woman.  If you definitely want the affair to end with this certain man then yes you should say something to his wife.  She can't stop you from telling people about what she has done, but don't take it over the line where she could possibly sue you for slander.  However I don't blame you for being mad at her and hating her.  Hopefully you will get full custody of your children and she will later on learn what a terrible mistake she has made to treat you like that.  Good luck in the future and stay away from her until the court date.

Answer 12

i would  because  she is not the same person   im sure u still love her but now this is more about u and ur son  if this will help u  with getting full custody **** do it plus u dont want ur son having  bullshit men coming in out of ur son s life she is  fake and yeah u should expose her for the fake she is good luck

Answer 13

Good luck. I hope everything works out ok for you.

Answer 14

Seek a path of rightous way, but do not bury in the process.

Aldo Rosado

Creek Indian Tribe

Columbus, GA

Answer 15

Look, I know its hard. Unfortunately, I've been there. Thing is, you need to accept the fact that its over. Don't worry about what she might catch and pass on. Thats not your problem anymore. I understand you feel for your kids. Whatever you do, you need to let them know that you love them and nothing will ever change that. Sooner or later she will realize what kind of husband she had and that every man is the same. Don't wish her wrong, but don't feel sorry for her. Her family will eventually know the truth. Don't protect her. She's too busy putting you down and probably blaming the marriage failure on you. Keep you head up high. It's not the end of the world. Might seem like it but its not. Take a deep breath and walk forward. Good luck!!

Answer 16

I am really sorry that you're having to go through all of this.  I think you should use whatever means necessary to get custody of your son.  You don't want your son being influenced by her and all her men friends that will sure to be around.  She made her bed, now let her lay in it! (no pun intended)