My wife is pregnant with our 2nd child. How are we going to afford it?

Question

Family members are out of the question. My mother has cancer and my wifes mother lives about 2hrs drive away. Our siblings work full time.

Answer 1

You should have thought about that before having a second child

Answer 2

It is too bad that you and your wife are in this position, but why didn't you use something so she wouldn't get pregnant?

Answer 3

thats somthing you discuss before getting her pregnant

Answer 4

Well firstly, you just do!

But to be honest, there are lots of things you can do. You will obviously get more child benefit with having 2, I get £122 every 4 weeks, plus it might be an idea for you to contact the tax credits helpline and see if they can help at all. If you earn under £60,000 a year they can definitely give you something, they may even be able to help with covering the costs of childcare.

Perhaps you could look at sending both your children to a child minder instead of a nursery, they tend to be slightly cheaper and I prefer the care they get, it's more personal.

You won't end up in debt, don't worry, you just have to be more organised with your finances and make a budget for everything you need.

Is there anything your wife could do from home instead of going back to work full time? There are lots of online companies that want home workers, google it perhaps and see what you find.

But lastly try not to get too stressed out over it. i've been where you are and my husband ended up on anti depressents because of worrying and you don't want that. I promise you it will be fine. My youngest is 2 now and we're all ok, still with no debts! Good luck xx

Answer 5

your asking this 3 months too late!

Answer 6

Build a time machine, go back in time and don't get your wife pregnant.

Answer 7

You or she could work different shifts to so child care hours would be limited to hours when you MUST be at work at the same time.  If your child care costs will be 3/4 of your wife's earnings, it may actually be better if she cuts way back on hours or does something else entirely, so you and she can work different hours and care for the kids yourselves.  My brother and sister in law did this- she left her job as a teacher because figuring in child care, transportation, clothing costs and meals away from home, it was costing her money to work.  She went back once both kids were in school.

Answer 8

Sorry to here about your mother. Tell here to keep working.  We don't work My fiance has comp and i have social security and we are in debt have been since 2001 its not fun. My two boys have Medicaid that there Fathers are to pay.   Me and my fiancee had a baby girl June 10 2007 and he has to pay her medicaid bill which is not fair he gets 625.82 every two weeks are morgage is 690.00 a month and the house bills are 400.00 and the medical bill for are daughter is 3000.00 and he is to pay 25.00 a month

Answer 9

well my sister and her boyfriend have got a flat and there in a ruff patch right now and what they have done is cut down on thing like they got ride of the phone and the Internet and basic stuff like that the now she got a mob so people just contact her throw that the only thing i can say is cut all stuff down to the basics that you can get ride of for now til your back on your feet

Answer 10

My dear Ares....

Let me tell you real honestly, what I would do, if it would take almost ALL (3/4) of the earnings, I would tell my wife: "Sweetheart, you stay at home & I'll go to work"! You see, Ares...she's almost going to work for...NOTHING !!! First of all...it would be better for the kids to have their MOM around & if it takes that much child-care $$$...I would stay at home to raise the kids !!! Concider it!!!

Wish you all the best for the future! Greetings from Germany...Annette***

Answer 11

well she's obviously not on maternity leave now and this may sound crazy but she may have to skip that until she has the baby then go on maternity leave. lots of women do it. and save dont spend money on things you don't need

Answer 12

Yeah, that's a tough one and I feel for you! The only thing I can suggest is to see if you can find a friend or family member that would be willing to help out with childcare or maybe even a church run program. The only other solution is to get a second job or work opposite shifts so care isn't needed.

Cut back on extras. See if you can get by with one car instead of 2 by carpooling or taking public transportation. Get rid of any extras that you don't need and curb any unnecessary spending. Shop sales whenever possible and comparison shop. I'm sorry I can't be of more help. Just take it a day at a time and do the best you can. It will get better!

Good luck to you!

Answer 13

THIS IS WHY YOU MEET YOUR MOTHER  IN  LAW

***********BEFORE ******************

Getting her pregnant.............

Have fun,  not too much fun........

Answer 14

It will all work itself out. I dont know how, but it does.

When I got pregnant for the first time, I only made $800 a month as a waitress (my appartment was half of that), and my hubby was only a contract worker.  My mat leave $ was only 60% of what I made so that's about $480 a month.  Our daughter is now almost 6, we own a home, 2 new vehicles, have great jobs and baby # 2 on the way.  

Just keep your mind  set on spending only what you need and do all you can to bring in any extra cash.

Best of luck!

Answer 15

abortion mate

Answer 16

sometimes it is cheaper when there are more than one kid for someone to stay home.  Who ever has the higher salary and or secure job.  Sell your second car and either you can take the bus or she will have to wait till the weekend to do things when you are home (that is what my wife and I do)  Look for ways to cut back, cabel, cell phones etc.   You can do this for a few years till the oldest starts school or they both are in school then the one who is home can go back to work.  

It does not need to be her you can stay home to.  I had a second job in a mall for a long time it brought in like 300 every other week.  that helped

Answer 17

I don't know, work different shifts so the sitter or daycare is not needed.

Answer 18

You will always find a way......most people in your situation do. I had to take a second job at times to make enough to feed my family. Groceries is the biggest expense that you can control. Clip coupons and stock up when they have "buy one, get one". Try to not use as much water and turn off lights, fans, etc..when not in use. Also, unplugging anything electric when not in use can save hundreds of dollars per year!! Try to save on gas by carpooling if possible. Shop around for cheaper car insurance, home insurance, health insurance. You will be surprised how easily you can cut costs with a few phone calls and determination.

Answer 19

Look on the net for money saving tips and cut down on the things that aren't necessary.

Ring the tax credits helpline for any extra help you can get, you can also get help towards the cost of child care, look it up on the net.

Try ebay and your local classified for cheap baby stuff. Or sell your own stuff on e bay or at a car boot sale.

Answer 20

I wouldn't ever put my child in daycare, but that's because I've had bad experiences with daycares. Try shopping around for cheaper, yet still safe, daycares. She should also look for a better job after the baby comes (maybe you should too, or ask for a raise). It's better than her staying at home. Also, one of you, if not both of you, should probably look into getting a second job, one working early morning, both during the day, and one late at night, until the children either start school or you get more income.

Answer 21

how about looking after the children yourselves (you or her) and giving them the best start in life instead of paying someone else to do it for you, why bother having them.

Answer 22

Consider paying a family member to watch your children. You'll probably pay less and your children will probably be safer and get better care than if they simply went to a daycare center. Do you have any friends who are stay at home moms or dads? I'm sure they'd like to earn some extra money by watching your children along with their own.

There are government programs that help pay for childcare, if you are poor enough. You should look into them. Government assistance is nothing to be embarrassed about if you really need it.

And actually, there are a lot of people who make enough for one parent to stay home but it requires discipline and not buying everything new. Consider how much you will pay for two children in daycare plus gas for two cars, insurance and car payments for two cars, lunch at work and clothes for work and you might figure that you break even (we did anyway and so did my brother and SIL). There are a lot of people out there who manage with only one parent working. My parents did for years and my father was just a police officer.

Considering the fact that your childcare will be 3/4 of your wife's earnings, you may want to bite the bullet and allow her to stay home at least until the kids go to school. She can always watch other kids in your home as well for pay. She doesn't have to open her own daycare center or anything. A lot of women do this - they watch one or two children and earn enough money to help them be stay at home mothers. I think it's worth it for the children personally.

I'm not sure how you live or spend your money but use coupons, take advantage of sales, buy second hand, ask for rain checks, join a grocery club or membership that gives you good prices on bulk items, buy in bulk, and even consider using cloth diapers - you save a TON of money.

My vote goes for your wife to stay at home with your children. It is possible if you want to make it work.

EDIT: If Jon and Kate Gosselin on Jon & Kate Plus 8 can have 8 children, one income, and one stay at home parent and make it then you can too! You can do it, just don't be scared or close-minded. Discuss the situation and see if it's possible.

Answer 23

Tough isn't it?

Maybe she should just stay at home and slum it and just have a nice Foreign Ladee in a few times a week, you will save so much more and the social will never have to know.

You are a Silly bugger getting her up the duff when you knew you couldn't afford another kid, shame on you.

Answer 24

I am certain you can claim some of the childcare costs back via tax credits - I think they help you out further when you pay childcare as opposed to someone who doesn't. Given them a call and ask how much you will get. Also, if you are putting baby No2 with the same childminder, most give a cheaper rate for siblings - its worth looking into.

Failing that, although you say you cannot really afford to keep your wife at home, you may need to think a bit more about this option. Only because if it would cost 3/4 of her wages then you would be paying a tremendous amount of money fr very little income yourself.

Perhaps you could change the childcare provider you are currently with - maybe look for cheaper routes of childcare - always check these out though so that you are getting a good safe environment for your little ones.

I think really you will just have to watch the pennies for a little while. Somehow you will get through it though, we always do!

Good luck and try not to worry too much.

Answer 25

if your current child is in daycare, why not try a home based one? they are usually cheaper-at least here they are. i like them better, because there is more one on one time with the child. i am taking it that you are not in the US-becuase of the different money sign you use (lol) but is there anything assistance wise over there that you can do?? it isn't shameful to try that, you both work your asses off, get help if it is available. have you checked areound for cheaper daycares? not all of them offer the same rate. it sounds like the daycare is the only problem. as far as diapers, formula doc visits, that all comes little by little. alot of them will also offer multiple family discounts (more tha n one child in the same care facility)  think about that too! good luck, and i wish you well.

Answer 26

get some of your old clothes and head to a pawn shop

ok just in case you don't know what it is its a place to sell stuff and get money

Answer 27

Cut out extras such as movies, dinners out, extra trips to the country, blah blah blah.

I have no job, right now, and I am trying to cut corners so that I can live within my nearly non-existant income. I am self-employed and have a tiny, growing business. Business has been slow, despite my niche, which is certainly a convenience, or should be, to the average citizen. I am a travelling barber.

Above all, and I think that this is a no-brainer, is to cut it down to bare essentials.

What do you, as a family, need most?

a) food, water, shelter.

******if your wife breastfeeds, that's money saved on bottles/formula, and sometimes, diapers. Depending on the frequency of feedings. Also, doctor bills aren't as much with a breast fed baby. Baby's getting all of Mummy's immunity.

******cut down your energy bill by wearing more sweaters and layered clothing. If you live in a village or in a city, walk or take the bus. I hope you live in an urbanized area where you can go to local markets and such. This cuts those bills way down.

b) clothing, education, entertainment

************cut down on the telly. Too much energy. Read to your children more. Take them for long walks. Don't use your vehicle as much. Don't take them out to dinner, instead, take them on a picnic. Talk about nature. Get their curiosity stirring. Make up stories and tell them about them.

I have lots more, but this should start you off....

Good luck.

Answer 28

It is worrying. My Girlfriend is 5 weeks pregnant with her 2nd child (although it's my 1st child). She works from home and her parents (and mine) live nearby. I am hoping that childcare would be for one day a week only - but I see your point. The cost is worrying me!

Best of luck to you both!

Answer 29

I see where you are coming from and why you would be concerned. I think that as a family you will find a way, because you have to in order to keep your family well supported. My best advice is to cut back on everything you can. Only get the foods which you need and don't go mad with spending money (I'm not suggesting that you do anyway). Is it essential for you to have two cars? If not, you could think about getting rid of one which would give you some more money and reduce your fuel costs. Just spend the basic amounts on what you need until you're able to get yourself back on your feet. I'm sure you will find a way, best of luck to you and your family!

Answer 30

This is something you should've thought about before having unprotected s*x and/or using other forms of contraception.  Even if it was with your wife.  But, it's too late for that.  Start saving now, use coupons, etc.  You'll figure something out, you're going to have to cut corners, buy at cheaper stores etc.  It is hard, but, you know you'll get through it, with help, that's if you konw how to ask for it.

Let is also be a lesson. If you don't want to have unexpected pregnancies.  Have the little snip snip, which is reversible.  She can get her tubes tied, or, cheaper, condoms.

Answer 31

I know where youre coming from - i decided to stay at home and look after the kids instead of going straight back to work. I waited until my eldest was 5 and my youngest was 3 - that way i only had to pay for 1 childs childcare.