My wife says she no longer wants to be together...I don't know what to do. I love her.?

Question

I just returned from Iraq and she told me while I was gone. She says she has not been happy for years. We have lived more as roomates than lovers. Partially my fault for not putting her first. My job always demanded more of me and I let it take over. She says there is no way to work things out. I am stuck.

Answer 1

You did not mention if there are any kids.  If so you two need to talk to somebody, a priest counselor, parent, somebody that can help you.

If there are no kids, GTFO as fast as you can. You are a American Hero as far as anybody should be concerned. And if you put your job and your country first for a while, s***w anybody that cannot or will not stand be you while you do what you have to do!!!!

I swear these women that can't keep their legs closed while their men are off fighting wars for our country are just horrible people and she does not deserve you anyway.

O By the way thank you.

I am sure my answer is not what you want to hear but you deserve someone better than that....

Answer 2

How very difficult for you to deal with after serving your country. But honestly the best thing you can do is let her go and move on. If she says the marriage is unsalvagable then her mind is made up and you won't be able to change it. All you can do is learn from this and take that knowledge with you as you build new relationships in time.  

Answer 3

Understand her reasons for wanting to make the change.  Be honest with yourself - are the reasons valid?  Perhaps you could suggest seeing a counselor to help determine whether she is making the right choice.  good luck.

Answer 4

she was banging someone else while you were away. LOL

Answer 5

She's giving up.  She hasn't even tried.  I would tell her that you deserve for you two to try to make this work.  Start counseling, dating again, church, talking to elder couples, marriage conferences (family life) anything and everything you can do.  She made a promise to you and she needs to try everything she can to save it, otherwise she may regret it in future.  Make sure there is no affair going on either.  

Even if she has detached herself emotionally, there is hope.  She may be doing this because you were gone or an affair is going on.  My husband did the same and in time he realized how stupid he was.

Answer 6

Sorry man!

For this no remedy.

Take the life as it comes - philosophy.

You cannot blame that lady too.

Some jobs are like that, better be single without marriage.

Because, you will be spoiling your wife without s*x months and years together.

Even legally you are at fault.

Answer 7

It sounds to me she has already divorced you emotionally...there is nothing you can do about that.  If you want to try to get her to stay, you need to show her you can change...actions speak louder than words.  You need to ensure you convey to her your feelings...but keep in mind you can't make her love you.  If she is emotionally gone, SHE is the only one who can open her emotions back up to you.  Also, sometimes you have to love someone enough to let them go...Sorry for your pain and situation and this is just what I recommend based on going through the same thing...this is just me

Answer 8

No you are not stuck, let her go & both of you be happy, be positive, time to move forward. Good luck.

Answer 9

Could be she feels really bad about something she has done to you or the marrage (unfaithful) and would like to just end it all before the other comes up??? hard to tell.

If you love someone you need to do it in such a way that they can tell......