My wife seems sick of me and at times says she feels trapped?

Question

My family has been on an emotional roller coaster the past few years. I haven't been able to find the quality of job I want, we filed bankruptcy in January, and overall suffered some big financial losses. We've been just "getting by" for about three years.

Since February my wife has had a good paying job, and I have one that pays well since July. At times things seem to be getting better, but she tells me she feels trapped.

I take care of her every need, cook/clean & raise the children, but it just doesn't seem to be enough. She is upbeat and easy going sometimes and other times seems so distant.

I love her dearly and she tell me she loves me, but I can tell things aren't correct. She has talked that perhaps we were married too young and we should separate, but we can't afford it.

I feel so empty and I'm not sure what to do/say to her some days.

Answer 1

You have had a really hard time, and i think to not feel great together is very normal.

Things are beginning to get better, but it is almost like when there is a death- things cannot get back to normal quickly, in fact there may never be normal again, and you will find a new 'normal'.

Bankruptcy is certainly life changing and affects you both rgeatly

I think you need to go back to your core roots together and talk about why you got together- seperating isnt always the answer, if she feels like this it may be a touch of (understandable) depression and this doesnt mean she doesnt want you.

I often tell my husband i would prefer we werent together, when things happen, but in my heart i dont want that.

We also got married young- at just 19&21 yrs- so we have grown and changed together ..

hold on to what you have and give it time...and do talk about it. Maybe show her this post you have made if you struggle to talk aloud....good luck I hope you work it through eventually

Answer 2

Awww i feel for you hunnie. If she is not happy she is going to go anyway. Take her out or even wine and dine her at home with candles, just do all the romantic things to get that spark back and to make her eyes light up again. Dont give up, fight for your marriage if you love her and only time will tell. Good Luck babes xx

Answer 3

It's ok that you're feeling this way.. such things do happen in marriages... they're filled with 'ups' and 'downs' and this is the 'down'! there's nothing scary about it... because it happens in every marriage at some point of time... firstly, calm yourself down... think through things.. relax.. then talk to your wife and tell her your feelings.. asked her why she said she feels trapped.. also let her know you're hurt about it.. and that you're doing your best to make things better for the both of you... ask her for her support and love too.. tell her you need it now.. perhaps she's not aware of how she's behaving.. a simple 'sit down talk' will sort things out... don't worry. calm down