My wife thinks I cheated on her, how can I prove to her that I didnt?

Question

here is what happened. My wife read an email from a girl who used to be my friend. in this email she sent me a picture of herself, along with very long email telling me how much she cared for me and how much she was in love with me. not to mention describing s*x. I did not reply to this email, and about a week later i told my "friend" that i could not be friends with her anymore. i told her that i love my wife and would not and could not cheat on her. well anyway like a dumbass i didnt delete the email immediately, and now obviously my wife thinks i had an affair..any ideas or am i just screwed?

Answer 1

It sounds like you got an email from a "friend" that used to be a **** buddy or an online romance or something. Then, it sounds like you sent the "friend" an email only after your wife found out...So, yeah that's a tough one other than telling her the truth..and this (what you've described) doesn't sound like the truth.

Answer 2

Harsh it may sound, now that the email is out in the open, there's no way you can prove to her or to anybody that you are innocent. You are doomed. Just try to make up for the misses with good deeds and thoughts. She will forgive you, but not forget, eventually.

Answer 3

You may have to volunteer for a polygraph or maybe even water board torture on this one because her imagination has already taken this to level eleven. Yes you were a dumbass for not quickly deleting such a potential home wrecker. Convincing her that you didn't do the horizontal mombo with the woman is going to be like an episode of mission impossible. Your going to have to do some major repair here and quick. I vote you load your wife up and go confront the other woman about the email. Maybe if she hears the truth from the other party you can turn this around.  

Answer 4

You should have replied to the email and told this girl right away that you were not interested. The fact that you waited, a week, leaves room for doubt for your wife. You also would have had proof that you had no interest in this girl.

Sit your wife down, look her in the eyes and tell her how much you love her and only her!! Women never get tired of hearing this said to them in a serious manner, not just casual. Take her by the hand and let her feel your sincerity and deepest love.., it will work..., believe me!

Best wishes  

Answer 5

Lie detector tests are costly... However, if you explain in great great detail everything that happened, including what you were thinking by even answering her, and why you'd never consider cheating, wife might decide to forget it. However, I doubt it.

You two need marriage counseling. And if wife holds onto the lie as truth and holds it against you, and gets nuts and abusive verbally and in other ways, you WILL have to divorce her.

If wife starts taking it out on you, like refusing love making, not cooking, making angry outbursts against you, I think if you serve her with divorce papers for spousal abuse if she relents and abuses you in the next two months, I think she will realize how she has carried this much to far,. If you are truthful but plainly not smart  for not having deleted the email you. you got what you created.... wife also sounds controlling. Don;t take c**p from from her if you are telling the truth.

Answer 6

maury, find a lie detector test

Answer 7

keep reassuring her deep down she will know you are telling the truth

Answer 8

A few things float across my mind when I read this.

1. Thou doth protest too much methinks.--Shakespeare

2. When a woman's gut instinct is her husband is cheating... he's cheating. If not that one, then another one.

3. When you love someone, you have to trust him/her absolutely.--Ben Cartwright on Bonanza.-- Hmmm... she isn't trusting you... so?

You have a bigger problem than one email. Look deep. Good luck.

Answer 9

I'm not your wife & even I don't find this believable.  Maybe you're telling the truth but . . . what old friend just out of the blue emails with explicit sexual details?  Like she just woke up one morning & thought it would be a good idea to message someone she doesn't even talk to anymore?  AND send pics?  Odd.  Maybe this chick's just a bigger w***e than any of my friends because I don't know any girl that would do that.

Answer 10

Kevin-

  You may as well cheat now.  You are already accused of cheating.  It's like you are paying in advance.  Have fun.

Wow, not 1 person agrees with me?  How morally bankrupt am I?

Answer 11

I think the best thing (from a gal's standpoint) is to sit your wife down and let her know she means everything to you. Explain what you did here, and if you didn't delete THAT email you sent to her - print it out and show it to your wife!

By showing the wife there was no harm no foul in print will help you tremendously. It seems to me that she needs reassurance that you love her and only her, so if you have any proof that you told the other woman that you didn't want to be friends that would be helpful.

If there is no email, just tell your wife that the email took you for a loop, and that you didn't answer but told this girl you couldn't be friends. But don't beat it into her - the more you repeat the more guilty you seem. So just let her know it was an unsolicited email and that she needs to know you love her very much. Looking her in the eye and telling her will help with your credibility.

Good luck. I hope you guys work it out.

Answer 12

I agree with that other person,  Maury!  Or, you could show some wavoos and tell her that you have not cheated and will not cheat.  You are tired of her throwing it up in you face every time you turn around and she either believes you or she does not.  Not this "I want to" bull.  If she says she believes you, then tell her to drop it and never bring it up again.

Answer 13

The burden of proof is on her....she needs to find the proof that you did indeed have an affair....If she truly believes that you did...It would have made things easier...if you had been upfront with your wife about this girl when she first sent you an email along with the pics....

Answer 14

I don't know this one is hard.  Talk to your wife and explain everything, tell her if need be you will email your "friend" and wait for the response to show that you have never cheated on her.  Best of luck!!

Answer 15

you can't prove anything she either will believe or not. too bad u didn't save the dated reply that might have helped. but if u hadn't been away from the home other than for work then it should be pretty plain that you didn't have an affair. ask her when you would have  had time and that work - the paychecks, the boss wouldn't lie for you and pay you for time away from work. that may help. tell her that u will not talk to ur ex-friend anymore and try to resolve it as best you can. double the i love yous and make sure she has your password for your e mail i am sure she will come around if she loves u too.  good luck

Answer 16

Go on Maury!  Sami beat me to this one  LOL

Answer 17

Tell her your explanation.  She will believe it when she's ready.  She will tell your honesty by the way you tell her.  Then feel good about it.  She will let the hurt go.

Answer 18

You probably should have told your wife about the email the moment you got it, and let her see how you responded back. If she could seen that part, she would feel better, but seeing that she found it puts all this into a whole new scary area. To believe or not believe.