My wife wants me to take this new job....but?

Question

Ok, last year for about 8 months I worked at home for developmentally disabled children. I hated my job there. I have nothing against the developmentally disabled, I just hated the job. The staff was bad and never wanted to do their jobs and complained every time they were asked to do something, the supervisors would lie to you about things and would write you up for every little thing they could possibly think of, it was just a bad environment all the way around. Plus I'm not really cut out for that kind of work. I was dealing with kids who would bite, scratch, punch, slap, kick, yell and scream at you just because they felt like it. A job like that takes the right kind of person, and I'm not it. Now my wife works at a home for the developmentally disabled. She's working with adults and wants me to try to get a job at the same place she works. I don't want to go back to that kind of work. She likes working there. She is the right kind of person to do a job like that. I told her I don't want to go back to that line of work and she keeps telling me to just try it. We would not be working together at all. We would be in 2 different areas. She keeps saying that we'll save on gas by driving to work together and I'll make more money. I like the job I'm at now and want to stay, but if I do this I won't be able to. What should I do? Should I go back to that line of work where I can make more money but be completely miserable at my job? Or should I stay at my job that I like and make a little less money? How do I convince my wife that this is not the right kind of job for me. Someone help me please.

Serious answers only please

Answer 1

You already know you can't do that job and be happy, so don't even consider saying yes.

So... the true question is how do you get your wife to accept your decision.

One method that might work is to start by agreeing with her on every point you can. Agree that it would save money. Agree that it's a good job. Agree that it's important work. And then point out in great detail how good at the job she is and how much you admire her for being able to do it and do it so well.

Then hold totally firm on the points you can't agree with her on. You can't do the job and be happy and therefore you can't take the job. It would only put the 2 of you through the same unhappiness as when you were at the last place.

What might help with the latter part of this conversation if you have some kind of vision or plan for your future career. If you have something you can be excited about for your future employment prospects.

But if that's not you and you don't so much want a career as a steady job then you may need to have a conversation with your wife about your different approaches to careers/employment styles. If that is the case, I suggest you ask another question as it's a bit of a different subject - and a large one!

Anyway, good luck with communicating your decision to your wife!

Answer 2

wow, i feel for you. i pushed my husband into a job he hated and it caused lots more problems down the road. do not repeat do not take that job. no matter what she has to say. neither one of you will be happy in the long run. my husband now has a job HE enjoys doing making less money but for me that's ok, because he is happy, this is about you and she as your wife, i would hope will respect you for that.

good luck

Answer 3

I had once heard "Pick a job you would not mind doing for free and then find a way to make some $ doing it".  

As a vet tech there is not much money in it but every single day for well over 25years I thank God for being able to do it.  I am not "high maintenance"  and care little about the finer things in life.  To me, being happy with what I do every day is PRICELESS  :)  

What is the point of living your life miserable?  Try to explain that to your wife.  Does she really want the discord it will eventually bring to your home life?  A sit down talk from the heart is needed.  Make a list or simply state the obvious.  If you are not happy - she is not going to be happy in the long run.....  

Good Luck,  Hope it helps.

Answer 4

first of all, its not good to work in the same place as your wife. Dont you get tired of seeing her at home sometimes?? yeah. working with her isnt a good idea, and if you feel this isnt the job for you then you shouldnt even consider taking it. maybe shes really insecure and wants you around her 24/7 but either way... you shouldnt take it if you dont want too. do something your happy doing.

good luck