My wife was skinny when we married and now is so fat I can't stand the sight of her. Should I dump her?

Question

She takes up the whole couch when she sits next to me. She is disgusting.

Answer 1

People's bodies change. As woman get older it is harder to keep our bodies slim an trim. Some people are naturally skinny and some have to work on it very hard. it's easy for a woman to get frustrated and just give up on weight loss and or weight maintenance.

Also some people gain weight over time and/or during marriage because they are depressed or dissatisfied with life (spouse, kids or work).

If you love really loved her then you could stay with her no matter what her weight. Leaving someone because they are "fat" is shallow and mean. try and talk to her. Tell her excess weight is unhealthy and then support her as she losses this weight.

Quick anecdote:

My husband of four years dumped me because I gained weight and became "disgusting" (Let me point out he was no George Clooney himself.)

I gained weight because are marriage and my career was a disaster and he wouldn't work on it with me.

He divorced me and  moved in with a "skinny" girl.

I met a new guy who loved me even though I was "fat". I lost weight and I look better than ever. he wishes he had stuck it out now. (His words not mine).

Moral to the story. Weight gain alone is not a good reason to dump someone. It says a lot about how trustworthy and dependable you are.

Encourage her to lose wright and then you need to re- prioritize.Weight can be lost but being shallow and judgmental might be a permanent affliction.

Answer 2

iwell all these people are saying about marriage vows and all but you have a right to be happy to if you are so miserable tell about if she does nothing and you are not happy then you should take action and divorce before you end cheating and get caught then you make a a$$ out of yourself i hope you dont have kids but it would be easier on them than to live in a loveless miserable parental relationship

Answer 3

Does the term "for better or worse" mean ANYTHING to you?

Seems to me you are superficial, and SHE deserves a better man than you, in my honest opinion.....

Answer 4

Yes, you should divorce her, for her sake only, cause you do / did not love her when you married.   When you love someone, you love them,  If you really loved her, you would be encouraging her to lose weight, and be supportive.  Maybe you could join her on a diet.   Show your love, not your disgust.  If that is all you have to offer, then move on, and let her find her some real love.  

Answer 5

you are a jerk.....with that said, did your vows say you'd only love her if she was skinny???????  start walking with her; start cooking healthly meals..quit being a jerk......I'm guessing if you dump her that will be the first 250 pounds she loses.....and she will be well on her way to being the hot gal that lives inside her

Answer 6

It concerns me that you didn't say you're concerned about her health, her feelings, etc.?  I assume if shes gained that much weight she's probably not thrilled about it herself... If you love her, you'll step up & encourage her in a loving & supportive way to lose weight...  

Answer 7

You are a cruel, shallow person.  This woman is more than a body.  The wonderful person you married is still there.  Maybe if you treated her with respect and worked together for a healthier lifestyle, it would benefit both of you.  My guess is that you are not living in the same body she married, either.  

Answer 8

I can't believe you !! She needs so much more, How could you say that , hellooo..for better or for worse .I hope she's smart enough to leave your dumb *** when she does loose the weight!

Your a effin PIG ! Jerk off!!

Answer 9

To say your wife is disgusting, is degrading. Did you see any signs before you got marry she would become fat? I hope you are trying to help her with the problem. Don't leave her, she need you now more than ever. Just remember the world is round and what you do to someone today, it will be done to you in a worst manner tomorrow. She is the same woman you promised to love forever, do not forget that. She is still beautiful, it's your ugly heart that's ripping her apart.

Think on these things.

P.S. if she takes up the entire couch, then sit on the ground.

Answer 10

No maybe she should dump you. You might be the very reason she is eating, ever heard of emotional eating? With your attitude and the way you sound it probably caused her to over eat. There could be any number of reasons this is happening, but you dont care to help only to make things worse. Might be loosing you would help her. Try it!!

Answer 11

YOUR DISCUSTING YOU FAT MOTHER ******* b*****d FROM MOTHER ******* h**l I CANT BELIEVE YOU CAN EVEN SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT! ROT IN h**l  

Answer 12

No, you can't divorce her for that.  IN SICKNESS AND IN HEALTH!!!!!!!!  Help her with her problem, go for walks together, join the gym together.  Talk to her, ask her to take care of herself, for her own self, and for you.  Explain her that you'd like to spend the rest of your life with her, and her life could be cut shorter because of her health, which is cheating you of the amount of time you'll get to spend with her on this earth.  You have to do it with her, don't tempt her with food that she'd like.  And always remember, it's not what you say, but how you say it.  

Answer 13

I bet you aren't the same handsome hunk you were when you got married either. She gave birth to your babies which packs on the weight. What's your excuse?

If she really is taking up most of a couch she needs to see a dr and find out if there is a medical condition causing this. If there isn't, maybe you can agree to put the whole family, yourself included, on a healthy diet and exercise routine if she will go along with it.

Some people have a harder time controlling their weight than others. No matter what her size now, she is the same woman you loved enough to marry. Maybe if you made her feel she is still special she will have the self esteem she needs to want to get in shape. If you are nagging her about her weight, you are encouraging her to dig her heels in and stay fat because she is hurt that you don't see her and only see the fat. Look inside at the woman you married. She is still there.

Answer 14

SO EVERY TIME YOU MARRY AND FIND SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOUR WIFE YOUR GOIN TO DIVORCE HER. I DONT THINK YOU KNOW WHAT MARRIAGE IS ABAUT GROW UP DUMB BUTT!

Answer 15

The same thing happened to my wife. She inflated like a water balloon soon after we were married. I've learned to accept it but sometimes I wish I had been more of a b*****d about it, and maybe she wouldn't weigh over 300 pounds now.

For those who say you get married for better or worse, I have to paint her toenails because she can't reach them because her big belly gets in the way. Is that fair?

Answer 16

Yes I would say, please dump her, and I am sure she will be so hurt to lose such a kind loving husband.  I am sure with your loving words and encouragement she will be sure to jump to lose weight to keep you by her side. You can then move on to another skinny lady, and leave your ex...broken and abused........I am sure she can move on and do much better than you, maybe someone who cares.

Answer 17

Suggest that you guys go on walks together, get a gym membership TOGETHER, and maybe start pitching in with cooking by experimenting with new low fat recipes that you BOTH can enjoy. As you notice a difference, buy her flowers and compliment her to encourage her.  If she doesnt want to participate in any of these suggestions, then just point blank tell her why you were suggesting it and tell her that something needs to change. Dont worry about these other posters telling you that you are a pig and what not. Communication and teamwork are key in marriage and if you do your part, how could that make you a pig. By the sound of things, the only pig is your wife. Good luck to the both of you.  

Answer 18

I am hoping that this is someone's way of getting people to answer a dumb question and its not true. If it is, then she needs to dump you. If you can't support your wife enough to encourage her to walk or go to a gym or even telling her no matter how she looks u still love her, but if u aren't happy with yourself then you need do something about, but don't do it for me. I feel that if this whole thing is true, you are looking for an out. If you want out, WALK! She'll be better off without a man like you. Because what another man doesn't want another man will take and treat like gold. There will be another man out there that will take her and love her and then the next time you see her she'll be that woman that you married again. WHY!? because that man loved her unconditionally and because she felt like she wanted to lose it and he supported her, she will lose it. That's what's happening for me. My husband loves me as if I was back at my weight when we met. But because of health reasons I am tryin to lose weight and he's saying go on and do a gym membership. Go on and let's eat healthier. Go on and walk and he walked with me. That's what a man that loves his woman will do.  

Answer 19

Wow.. so you are pretty much saying you married your wife because of her appearance? You need to set your priorities straight.

My wife gave birth 6 days ago and gained a bit of weight. Still, she is as hot as ever giving me a beautiful baby girl.

Answer 20

tell her u still love her, but she just doesnt turn u on anymore.  and that s*x is an important part of a healthy relationship.  u dont have to dump her,  but u may need to seek sexual satisfaction outside the marriage.

Answer 21

So I guess it was the looks that got you huh!!!! Did she just have a child? what has caused her to gain weight? maybe she has a health problem,  Do not call her fat no matter what you may think, try talking to her in a good way,  not putting her down.  Cause what would you think if she thought the same about you,.    

Answer 22

First don't let those other jerks who answered get to you. They are probably married to someone skinny and have no idea what you are going through.  You could have worded it a bit softer instead of "dump her" which gives these inconsiderate answer people ammo to verbally abuse you.

I've been where you are at.  I married my wife at 110 lbs, 18 months later she was 235 lbs and I stayed with her for another 13 years. I tried everything from support her to lose weight, took her to doctors for testing and she was healthy.  Her problem was the amount of garbage she put in her mouth and the booze she started drinking.

I was totally disgusted & s*x was one big turn off. Life is too short and and once I realized this, I came to terms to leave and file for divorce. I gave 100% support for recovery which she did not take, so I took the divorce plunge and never regretted it.

I recently heard my ex has broken 300 lbs.

Good luck and remember if you leave and file for divorce, things will get worse before they get better . . . BUT THEY DO GET BETTER!

Answer 23

I would advise you to watch the movie why did I get married you will see the answer to you question. Remember that you said she was not always fat it could be because of the kids she has given you or stress. Remember that you are part of the reason she is fat.

Answer 24

Ooooo you bi-otch.how dare you say something like that about your wife? instead of being on here b***hing about her weight why don't you get off your a** and do something.you married her for better or worse.so that meant you should have been prepared for the worse.

Answer 25

For better or worse right? How about instead of being a d**k, you support her and help her get to a healthy weight so that she could be there for your children(which i hope for humanitys sake you dont/wont have any so your genes do not pass on to a new generation.)

Answer 26

Not sure, but she sounds pretty big (ugh!).   I think you should let her know your concerns by telling her the following: give her a deadline date to lose the weight, hide all food, staple her mouth shut, give away all the t.v's (too many food commercials), never let her go grocery shopping again, get rid of the couch & buy smaller chairs and absolutely no s*x with her.   If she wants to be with you,  the weight should be decreasing soon.  If she remains fat - leave her!

Answer 27

your a LOSER.

stop posting this shet and get a life.

it would be best for her if you dump her, she wont have to be with you and your hairpiece you mentioned in another question.

Answer 28

i cant believe you are considering DUMPING her.. its a lil harsh.. it all depends on a number of things..

-how long have you been together?

-do you guys have kids?

-and do you LOVE her??

marriage is about love and when you put the ring on the other persons hand that means you are tied togther till death do you two apart.. maybe you should consider talkin to her first about how un-attracted you are too her.. that you need to be Physically attracted to her.. especially if you two have kids then you need to talk to her.. and really ask yourself. do you LOVE her??  

Answer 29

How could she take up the whole couch if you are on it too? Ya, and I am sure you are a super model material. Instead of being such a pig about it, why don't you ask her to go on a walk with you.  Go swimming.  Encourage her.  Don't tell her she is over weight.  You should have married her for her heart, not her body.  You are being very shallow and need to change your way of thinking.

Answer 30

so you dont love her at all? just for her looks? have you tried to talk to her and tell her that her weight matters to you and you need her to take care of herself. But the way you tell us, its like you dont love her at all. Poor her. Just leave her and tell her she deserve someone else. ANd make sure she take cares of herself so once you see her again, you are a big loser.

Answer 31

I feel the issue at hand now is not the size of your wife but the fact that you no longer love her.  Don't make both of you miserable because her weight is the ruling factor in staying married or not.  I realize a drastic change in a woman's body affects the way some men feel about their wives, but I also know it does not always make them want to dump their wives.  My niece got huge after she had her child and her husband, who is thin, still loves her and they still have a very active s*x life.  So, I suppose it just depends on what you need to do to make yourself happy again.