My wife wont get a job and keeps begging me for money should I get a divorce?

Question

She says that she is looking for a job but she has been unemployed for 4 months. She claims that leaving comments on YouTube about videos on Thai politics (shes weird) is going to help her get employed. I am tired of financially supporting her. I scream and yell at her to get a job and she doesn't do it. I suggest nicely that she get a job and she doesn't do it. I say nothing at all and she definitely doesn't do it.

Answer 1

You need to tell her in a calm and loving (women thrive on love seriously) voice and talk to her about how this is affecting you, and give her a chance to reply, ask her about her methods of trying to get employed. You two need to discuss this or you have to give her an option. Also, why is she unemployed, and do you have children?

Can someone please answer mine?

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Answer 2

Get counseling you seem to be self absorbed.

Answer 3

Begging you for money... It looks to me that YOU are the -sshole in the relationship. 4 months is not that long. She's lucky if you leaver her, actually.  

Answer 4

So don't give her money, she will be forced to get a job!!  It time to get her up off her butt to get a job.  You need to stop yelling and screaming at her, it will only make the situation worse then it is.  The divorce is up to you, no one can answer this for you.  Best of luck!

Answer 5

sweetie you are going about this totally the wrong way. but to answer your question yeah you should LEAVE her first if she doesnt get a job. stop giving her money only pay the rent, food and utilities and thats it.when she say she need money tell her yeah you do but in order to get what you need you have to have a job. dont keep yelling and going back and forth with her about getting a job. show her that you are serious and leave her butt. GodBless

Answer 6

As long as the house is clean when you get home and dinner is ready, I wouldn't fret. Unless you two have bills up the wazoo and you need her support, then you need to help her prepare applications and resumes to ensure she's really trying to get a job. Put her on a monetary limit. She'll have a job in no time.

Seriously though, marriage is teamwork. If you want her to get a job then she should really make an effort to help out.

Answer 7

well i dunno if you should just get a  divorce, but i see you have tried to talk to her and shes not budging. I would talk to her in a serious conversatin and tell her that you are willing to help her look for a job, draft some resumes with her b/c she needs to help out w/ money , other wise you feel the relatiomship wont work b/c of this. if u talk to her marurely and explain the situatin and that if she doenst  be responbsible a nd try to help out, then you may have to leave her....maybe if she knows the consquenscnes and if u talk to her w/ out yelling she will know your serious..??? good luck..

Answer 8

It's time to have one of those conversations. You know the ones that let her know your feelings and what you expect. I hope you talked about this before getting married that you always expected her to have a job. It's sad, but if she isn't looking for a job then you need to decide if you're willing to put up with that. Being unemployeed in a crappy economy isn't unusual (if you're in the United States). I'd suggest trying to be supportive and looking for job postings with her instead of yelling at her.

Oh and being at home with children doesn't exclude her from helping to support the household financially if it wasn't previously agreed on. What would she think if you just decided you'd rather stay home and clean and make dinner? She'd be pissed right? As a man, it's not your responcibilty to up hold the household financially because you're a man. It doesn't give a woman the right to stop working because "she cleans the house and makes dinner.". If it wasn't previously agreed that it was okay, then it wasn't. Just because she's a woman doesn't mean she earns to right to live off of you. You deserve to treated equally just as much as she does.

Answer 9

Do you love this woman? Why are you calling her weird on some internet website? That seems mean to me.

Did you know she was unemployed when you married her?

IMO: Marriage is forever, you try and find a way to work through your problems. not just ditch her b/c she hasn't been working for 4 months. Sounds like you are very immature. Your finances should be joint. She should not be BEGGING you for money. Even if she isn't working, your finances are joint.

Give her time to figure things out. Be thoughtful, and ask her as a friend why she is having such a hard time finding a job, or if she even wants to work right now?? If you NEED her to be working, than calmly explain to her that to cover the bills, she needs to find a job. Or some way to bring in some dough.

Answer 10

Dude uh your wife should not have to beg you for money that's wrong! If you want a divorce because she won't get a job that's on you. You should have known this going into the marriage. But if you have kids and she is staying home with the kids then I see no problem. Or if she is staying home without kids cooking and cleaning and taking care of you then I don't see a problem there. I don't know what to tell you other then glad your not my husband.

Answer 11

Well you two should sit down and talk like adults. Cause her begging for money, your giving her an allowance and screaming at her sounds like you're acting like her dad not her husband.

Sit down with her calmly and ask her if she really actually honestly wants a job. If she says yes, then create a viable plan that you both agree to. That is, she edits her resume and sends it out to at least 30 places by the end of this week. If she gets no responce in a week from then then she should send it out to 30 more places. Or something like that. Being out of job can be quite uncomforatble and people trick their minds into stupid hopes like leaving comments on youtube will get them a job somehow.

If she honestly doesn't want to get a job then ask her (and decide for yourself) if she is willing to take care of the household from now on. She can't just sit on her butt and expect other people to take care of her. She needs to contribute either work or paycheck.