My x had a 13yr old fmale bbsit my 2 kidz over night at his apt with him only being gone 4 2hrs??? Sick or not

Question

It was supposed to be my night with my 5yr old son and 19 mo. old daughter. I had called him on Saturday night to ask for the children back after I was done with a golf outing at 8:30pm. He told me no and I wouldn't get them back till Sunday at 12pm. So I let it go. I ran into my neighbor later on Saturday and she told me that her bfriend and my x went out on Saturday and why didn't I have the kids? I asked my 5yr old boy who was in the back seat of my car who watched him lastnight and he said, "I am not supposed to tell you it's me and daddy's secret!". My neighbor who was appauled said "You can tell me honey I won't say anything." He said "Vikki, she stayed overnight with me and sissy and my daddy took her home this morning." Ok she is 13 years old an incredibly horrid lazy a** babysitter. That immeadatley ripped my heart out of my chest after I had put about 60 hours in that week at work and he had a 13 year old spend the night with him and MY 2 childredn and wouldn't let me have them. Further more....we have a placement order with the courts and I am supposed to have 1st rights to the children if I am not busy. He has a fit if I have my parents watch them for a couple of hours if I have to go into work and close up a deal. But he has the balls to get a 13 yr overnight and go out and party when I haven't seen either one of them all week besides for bed and taking them to daycare. What in the h**l is wrong with her parents letting her stay overnight at a 31YEAR OLD MAN'S APARTMENT. I am sorry but I am very ill to my stomach, to think what could have or would have or did happen with my kids there even though my 5 yr old said that she slept in his bed and he slept in his dad's bed. I just want to vomit.... Luckily I have a meeting with him, his lawyer, my lawyer and me on Wednesday. Everyone that I have spoke with today thought it was terribly sick and twisted except a couple of people who tried to put it in his and her parents perspective. But I am sorry I just can not bring myself to that view... Please help who ever is reading this on what you think because I am so sick to my stomach for my kids and what the h**l is really going on when I am not around. He does not care about them he constantly uses them for a little pawn and plays head games with all of us.

Answer 1

Take a deep breathe and settle down. Your emotional barometer is off the meter. Don't assume that something bad happened unless you have proof. Certainly a 13 year old babysitter is too young however perhaps that is the only person he could get at short notice. No harm came to your children. If you think you have a right to control your exhusband's household you are kidding yourself. Don't let yourself get caught up reacting to his behaviour just get on with being the best you that you can be.

Answer 2

Sweetheart, I'm sorry but people are really just messed up sometimes.

If your kids came out of this safely, I don't see any reason to linger on it, but you should definitely try to be the responsible adult and have a talk with him about his parental responsibilities.

He has a duty to keep your children in a safe environment, and if you don't feel comfortable that which he is providing, you definitely do something about that.

But really, the first step is telling him how you feel about what he did and trying to resolve it without too much conflict, for your kids' sake.

Answer 3

okay when u were young... u babysat kids right? u never stayed over nite becoz the parents came home too late?  who knows why your x kept the kids instead of giving them back, but whos suprized there really?  men are all crazy.  

Answer 4

It is illegal to leave underage children unattended overnight in a house for a start, so report your ex right now, before he does this again.

The courts will find any sign of neglect and child abuse intolerable.

How disgusting - putting your children in the hands of someone you don't trust.

Isn't this also classed as kidnapping in a way? Since you have 1st rights to the children?

Your ex really does have no respect for you or his (and your) children.

The only babysitter I would ever have are my parents because I know and trust them, but some 13 year old girl? No way.

It is very sad that your children are getting dragged into this, but this is for their sake at the end of the day. If he gets away with this one, he will do it again and again until one day something might happen to your children.

Good luck, stay strong dear