My younger sister is dying of cancer and she wants me to take her toddler who is on google (link included)

Question

she will die within the next month or two, her doctor say. she wants to send Si-Yan over to America from China to live with me. I need tips on explaining death to a 3 year old and giving her the best life possible!

http://images.inmagine.com/img/bilderlounge/bl036/014365bl.jpg

Answer 1

Oh thats so SAd

Iam sorry to hear that terrible news,

ANd she is so cute,

Cause shes only 3 years old, she wont really understand just yet, where her mum has gone, so the best thing to tell her, is that mummy is gone at the moment, and just leave it that, cause u dont want to go into details cause she wont understand anyway,

And give her the best possilbe life, by just loving her, and always being there for her.

Good luck, hope it all works out for all of u,

Answer 2

Sweetie...mummy has went to the skies now. She loved you very much.

Emphasis the fact that she loved her and it wasnt her choice to leave her.

Answer 3

well you have to tell the truth just say your mommy loved you very much but she got very sick and died but that means she got to go to heaven which is a a great place.

Answer 4

Aw that is sad...I don't really know except love her and be there for her! She is really cute by the way!  I hope it works out.

Answer 5

if ur religious explain to her that the higher power (god, allah, budha,) couldnt wait to have her so they took her off the earth. then you do what comes naturally. care for her, buy her nice things but dont spoil her, love her and treat her like ur own. and have fun =)

Answer 6

here's a story for you. Ive been reading this book lately about JFK jr, after JFK senior died. A few years previous to JFK's death the family had a miscarriage. They lost a son named Patrick. When JFK was assassinated the nanny told JFK jr and his sister that daddy knew that Patrick was alone in heaven and Daddy went there to keep him company.

I don't know if that helped, but i dont know i thought it might be appropriate. JFK jr was also three when his daddy died

Answer 7

Oh God, I'm so sorry. I don't know how to explain death to a child but they do understand it to an extent. As for giving her a good life; If your sister played or sang a song often, then do the same, especially before bed. It's a subconcious comfort.

Answer 8

I think you sound as though you're going to be a great guardian.

She is too little to really understand what's going on, she will probably just ask you "where's mommy?", you could just say that she has gone to heaven or to be with the angels, and at this age, she will probably not ask anything more.

As she gets older, it may be good to have pictures of her Mom around, maybe keep a scrapbook of pictures of her and her mom together, and just wait for her to ask you questions.

Has she visited you before? This will be a scary time of change for her moving countries, losing her mom etc. so please don't be disheartened if she seems to dislike you at first or anything cos she is bound to be scared and confused, and once she is bigger and realises the sacrifices you have made for her, and how you love her even though she is not yours, she will love and appreciate you.

You're going to do great! X

Answer 9

Tell her that mommy is sick and she is going to a place that will make her better,you won't see her for a long time but she can always see you and mommy misses you too. Mommy is very happy where she is and she wants me to look after you.

When she gets older you can tell her more things.

Answer 10

Wow that sucks man but death is part of the life cycle but I cant really help you with the explaining thing

Answer 11

I am so sorry to hear that about your sister it must be hard for you right now explaining this to a child is hard try doing it slowly word by word so he or she understand's fully your word and tell em that you care for em and love em with all your heart a soul .and make sure to be there for their teen's so they can trust you with everything that's go on in the life they will share with you ,

                       W/RESPECT GEORGE IIII

Answer 12

I send you my prayers! I would just say that mommy's in heaven.

Also I'm a professional herbalist and over the years I've had many people with cancer that I helped and a few have beaten the odds with supplements I suggested. I'm just saying if your sister wants some help go to my profile and send me the specific diagnoses and I will give you some ideas. All cancer is is a mutation in the dna that tells it to keep on growing. There are many ways to fight it,but every situation is different.

I will say a prayer for her and your family.

Sorry!  

Answer 13

omg, that's really sad, why would you want to explain death to her, just let her live the last moments of her life, try to make her as happy as you can and let her enjoy this life before the after life...

Answer 14

I really admire you.

Always remember to allow Si-Yan to live her life as she wants to, not as you want her to. I dont mean let her go nuts and do whatever she pleases - i mean it in a reserved sort of way.

You can explain death to her sort of like this:

We each have a soul, and when our time comes, that soul leaves our body and goes to heaven. Mummy is in heaven now. And youve come to live with me.

Say it smiling.. i know it would be difficult for you, but for her sake.  

Answer 15

the fact that you are worrying about being a good "parent", assures you that you're gonna be a great one...

Answer 16

shes 3, she wont know what goin on, so just take her to a park or something and waste that money on toys and fun.

Answer 17

Awww... I wish I knew a good way to explain it but everything I think of is to sad. I am sorry.

Maybe, try to relate it to something going away for a long time but it's never really gone. That's about all I can summerize.

Answer 18

How sad for you, but how beautiful your soul to try to give another the best possible for their future.

Perhaps tell her why she is to live with you honestly, or like you have described it here.  

Answer 19

Aww im so sorry to hear that! I wish the best of luck to you!

Answer 20

Be the mother she couldn't enjoy for the rest of her life. Be with her. I suggest you don't break the news to her before she's a little more mature... perhaps right before adolescence.  She won't be able to understand at three.

Be kind. Be motherly. Take her to a church and pray for her.

God Bless you.

I sincerely hope and pray everything will go well.

Yours sincerely,

Wonhee

Answer 21

in all honesty at the age of three she probably wont remember a lot i would suggest that u talk to her openly and honestly keep photos of her mum around the house and talk to her about her mum keep it to a level that she can understand and show her just how much u love her and how much she means to you.  There are no definate answers in parenting each child is different and each parent is different.

Best of luck