My younger sister is getting married before me?

Question

Ok, So my sister who is 4 years younger than me is getting married next June. She wants me to help her plan her wedding, I am happy that she found someone that makes her happy. I do think that they are rushing into things because she is still young. She called me today to talk about the wedding but I am just not into it right now because me and my boyfriend just broke up because he cheated on me. What should I do and Am I wrong for feeling this way?

Answer 1

You are entitled to your feelings, however you also have a Sister who needs you. Maybe if you talked to her about the terrible break up you are going through, you guys could help each other-besides keeping busy can help pass the time instead of dwelling on this your ex and his bad decisions

Answer 2

i'm getting married next august and my older sister is 5 years older than me and she's been acting the same way. She has a boyfriend and they have a kid together but he doesn't want to get married to her yet... she has said things and isn't being very helpful but i think you should talk to her and let her know how your feeling because i'm sure she notices something is wrong with you and would want to talk to you about it.  

Answer 3

You're not wrong for feeling this way, you're only human!  You have to put your feelings aside, though. I know it's hard, but your sister needs you and she'll remember this for the rest of your life.  Be happy for her, she is your sister and a big part of your life, and if she's happy you're happy. When it's time for you to get married, she'll be there for you.  I wish my sister were getting married, she's always dating guys who get in trouble and cause her life to be a mess. It's always the better thing to do to put your jealousy aside and do the right thing. I know it's hard, but in the end you'll both benefit! I hope this helps!

Answer 4

I am getting married before my older sister (she is three years older than me), and she is very excited for me.  She sort of knew I was going to be married first because she has barely even had one boyfriend, and she has never been kissed.

I do understand that you a little sad, and there's nothing anyone can say to make you stop being sad about it.  But I really think that you should try your hardest to be happy around your sister, and try to help her out as much as possible.  Because this is going to be her one big day, and she would be so sad if her own sister didn't want to help just because she is getting married before you.

And believe me, she probably feels bad about getting married before you (I know I feel bad for getting married before my sister), but she is in love.

I hope you can cheer up, and I am very sorry about your break up, I know how bad they hurt.  Just try to be there for your sister now, and she will be there for you too!

Answer 5

I think you are being selfish, however, a breakup is a painful thing.  Let her know that you just broke up with your boyfriend and aren't so good at doing wedding plans at the moment.  Then let her know when you are ready. If you can't be supportive of her, then let her know that you don't really want to be involved in wedding planning. She won't count on you then.

Answer 6

Just let your lil sis know that you need some down time to recover from your breakup with your ex. Helping her with her wedding planning is gonna hurt a bunch..your going to start thinking about your and your ex more and more. A broken heart isn't a thing to play around with. Just let your sis know that you need some time. She has to understand you and your feelings and like wise for you. I hope you get to feeling better, it took me about 2 months to get over my ex boyfriend  we were supposed to get married next spring, but the pain still lingers.

Answer 7

I'm sorry about your sorrow...

You're probably feeling very lonely, so I recommend that you read some helpful articles to help you over this 'hump':

Coping With Loneliness  http://watchtower.org/e/20040608/article...

What You Can Do About Loneliness  

http://watchtower.org/e/20040608/diagram...

What Has Happened to Love? :

- The desire to be loved

- - Why True Love Is Hard to Find

- - - How YOU Can Find True Love!  http://watchtower.org/e/200603/article_0...

When you're feeling better, maybe reading the following articles will give you some ideas on how to help your sister---Or, you can both read them---(Or, you can suggest that she read them):

Increase the Joy and Dignity of Your Wedding Day

- Who Is Responsible?

- Communicatiion Increases Joy

- Maintaining Dignity in Dress & Grooming

- Joy That Lasts Beyond the Wedding Day

http://watchtower.org/e/20061015/article...

The Wedding Day---Making It a Joyful Beginning :

- "The Happiest Day of Our Lives"

- The Wedding Day--Happy but Demanding

- A Sample Preparations Checklist

- Marriage Should Be a Permanent Bond  http://watchtower.org/e/20020208/article...

Answer 8

You are being selfish. So what if your younger sis is getting hitched before you. Mine did. and my older sister and my younger brother.  Sometimes it takes time to find your soul-mate.  Just be thankful you didn't marry that cheating jerk of yours and be miserable for the rest of your life.

Answer 9

Just be happy for her! Her getting married before you is not a personal attack on you. I understand you're going through a hard time and what's happened to you sucks big time. Just be there for her and she can be there for you too.  

Answer 10

I wouldn't say it is wrong to feel that way but it is something you are going to have to push through.  Someday your sister is going to be there for you when you meet someone (who isn't a skeezeball like your ex).  I would throw yourself into wedding planning (nothing is better for a disappointment than staying busy and working hard) and learn for when you throw your own wedding.  I am planning my own wedding right now and wish that I had helped someone before because I have no idea what I am doing.  

Answer 11

Well, it sounds like you are going through something and I kind of wonder if it is coloring your feelings about  your sister.

However, keep in mind that helping your sister will strengthen your bond as sisters AND may even help you feel better. Don't let yourself sit around and feel bad, get out and help your sister and when it is your time hopefully, she will do the same for you.

Answer 12

It's totally understandable why you feel this way, as would anyone. But you have to understand your sister is excited for this time to come and wants you to take part in it with her. I recommend explaining to her that you love her, happy for her, and want to be a part of it with her but at the same time you just went through a bad break up and sometimes its hard for you to help her. This way she does not feel like you simply do not care. It will be tough but this should be fun you both you and your sister. Just because she is younger than you and getting married before it does not matter. When the right man comes along for you it will feel that much better to have it.

As for you feeling your sister is too young, maybe you feel this way  because she is marrying before you? Either way if she has decided to follow through with marriage just talk to her and make sure she is in it for the right reasons. If not, she can only learn from her mistakes. But be positive and hope for the best that this marriage will work.

Goodluck and stay strong. Do not let emotions from a lieing jerk bring  you down especially in such ways. Be strong and also be there for your sister.

Answer 13

If you do not want to help her than tell her that. It's not her fought he cheated on you. Be happy for your sister and help her and if not than tell her to fins someone else who wants to.  This is a happy time for her so let her enjoy it.

Answer 14

Your being a bit selfish but human, it's your sister- just tell her your a little down in the dumps about your ex............ and you need some time to recover before jumping into wedding plans with her.

Answer 15

I understand the way you are feeling... but you need to be happy for your sister. You can be sad and whatever in your free time, and I totally understand if you were...  but you would want her to be happy for you. All you can do is support her and let her know that you are happy for her. Good luck.

Answer 16

I understand that you may not feel motivated to talk about weddings when your personal life isn't going that well but I don't think it should effect in any kind of way of helping your younger sister. Looks like your uncomfortable that shes the one who's getting married first and not you, good luck hope you feel better!