My16 year old son privately told his dad he wants to get condoms "just in case". ?

Question

Should I wait and see if he wants to talk to me about it, or should I bring up the subject. We are a very close family, but lately he's been turning to his dad more for advice, and I want to respect that.

Any input would be appreciated.

Answer 1

I think you should be proud of him for being mature enough to ask for condoms instead of letting you know later that he's going to be a daddy. He wants to be responsible, so I would let him. he is not saying that he is going to use them at his first opportunity, but that he wants to be ready if the situation comes up.

I would let him know that he can talk to you both about anything. Let him talk to Dad about s*x stuff. I'm sure it was hard enough to talk to his dad about that stuff. It took a  lot of guts for him to bring the subject up.

Answer 2

I think that he feels more comfortable talking to his dad about this.

It is going to be hard, but you should leave it..

If he feels that his dad is betraying the trust he might not ask next time

Atleast he is trying to have safe s*x.  Dont embarrass him, because talking to him will.

Have you husband give him the condoms and let that be that.

Answer 3

I highly disagree with "Anonymous," saying that he's "old enough."

No offense, but he's old enough to do what? Use some girl's body for pleasure? Think about the girl(s) he's planning on "hooking up" with and about the consequences that actions could have on their lives, their feelings. Until he - or any guy or girl - is able to realize what exactly s*x is (for babies AND bonding) and is able to commit to what comes as a result of having s*x (a child), I don't think it can be said that he's old enough. The body is more than a toy. It seems "Anonymous" forgot what the subject is.

As a teen girl, I took a bit of offense at that thought. It's the very lack of respect for the body that is leading to so many girls my age freely selling their bodies or dressing wearing hardly any clothes; it's an easy way to get attention that demands zero respect from anyone.

I think it's all a matter of realizing that the body is more than just an object, regardless of gender, and living in a way that displays that.

;-)

Answer 4

its normal when you were 16 would you go to your dad and ask to be put on the pill.....

Answer 5

see if he talks to you. it may be awkward to talk about to him. but if you really want to know maybe beat around the bush?

Answer 6

i would just get them for him at lest he has spoken to one of you about it and some times their are things that he is going to be more conferable talking to his dad more so then his mum.

main thing is that he is talking to one of you about it i think anyway and so if you wont to let him know that you know about it too then let him know or take him with you to buy them.  

Answer 7

keep it between him and his father. trust me, he'll be happier that way. i know you may feel left out of this but guys need that "guy bond".

i have a lot of trouble talking to my mother about anything even slightly personal. the matter gets more complicated since i have no father, so i know how much it means to teenage boys to be able to talk to a father about private things.

i think that if you start to stir around there you will get a very negative reaction from your son and it will hurt your bond with him.

Answer 8

hes a guy, so hes gonna go to his dad more cause his dads a guy too.

i think he might be uncomfortable talking to you about "guy stuff"

just like any girl would be uncomfortable talking to her father about getting her period and what not.

dont be worried or anything, and dont bring it up.

let him at least think that his dad isnt telling you any of this lol

if he wants to talk to you about it thats fine, but chances are h**l just stick with his dad.  

Answer 9

I would just keep that a father and son thing. He is probably too embarrassed to talk about that with his mother because u are a female. Just let him know that he can talk about anything with you. Dont mention it, only talk about it if he wants too. Just my advice.

Answer 10

Come on stay the h**l out of his way with that, Buy condoms and give it to his dad to hand it over. How difficult can that be. I don't think he will come to you for advice in that matter. Don't feel bad about it, he is growing up. Good luck.

Answer 11

... and if you had a daughter she would talk to you!

It's completley normal for your son to talk to his dad more than he would talk to you about s*x, especially at this age! It would be the same thing if  you had a daughter, she wouldn't talk to her dad as much about "Girl" things!

You should be glad that he wants to get condoms and protect himself against STD's and maybe unwaanted pregnancies!

Just let him talk to his dad about this.. It would be awkward for him to talk to you!

-Allie

Answer 12

Maybe you should tell him, we need to buy a life insurance policy in the event you kill him, I mean just in case.  Tell him sexual activity at his age is not something to be proud of, and is not acceptable. Your enabling a minor if you do get them. And last time I checked, your liable for him. and could have some legal issues.

Talk with your hubby first and fly this by him.

Giving condoms is not smart, neither is not giving them. you need to have a serious family talk to him about this, well you or dad.

Answer 13

     how do you know if it was told to your husband privately.if you mention something to him.he will know his confidence can not be trusted.and if i may add.you sound like you dont like the idea of him going to his father.be carefull what you do.

Answer 14

this is more of a father-son type of conversation. not really a mother-son thing =/

Answer 15

i am 16 as well. you should wait and see if he would like to talk to you about it. There are certain situations you are more comfortablele asking others certain things.

Answer 16

Yeah he probably wants to talk to his dad about "Guy stuff" Although you should have a say its better to just leave them to discuss options and "guy problems"  

Answer 17

Well its goo that he trusts you guys. He probably feels more comfortable talking to his dad about...well, guy stuff. Bring up the subject if you want, it wouldnt hurt

Answer 18

I think you should wait and see if he comes to you first.

I also think its brilliant that he asked!!! Not alot of 16 year old boys around that would do that!! You should be very proud =]]

Answer 19

Don't talk to him, it will make him uncomfortable. This is the sort of thing a son goes to a dad for, if it was you daughter she'd be asking you and asking you not to tell her dad.

Answer 20

You and your husband should have a talk about girls with him.

and explain it too him

and yes, make sure he uses condoms

after all he is 16, and old enough

Answer 21

Well Im sixteen also, and no offense I would feel more comfortable talking to my dad or my brother about s*x then my mom. Kind of embarassing for guys to do....

Answer 22

Least hes talking to his Dad about it!!

And i think your should be proud of the fact that he's actually thinking about wearing a condom, most guys wouldn't believe me!!!

Answer 23

i think u should approach him and just let him he can talk to you about anything but maybe he feels like since its a man thing hes going to his dad more and feels awkward talking to you about man stuff.u know men...