Myself or my parents are thinking about adopting my sister's baby.?

Question

We feel that she is not taking good care of the baby. My sister and her boyfreind are morre concerned about another aspect of their lives. What should we do? thanks for your help

Answer 1

so long as the basic needs are being met by the parents the courts will not give the child to you. Its her  kid not yours

Answer 2

Discuss with your parents the choice you will all be comfortable with.  Whomever wants to adopt has to be screened and go through the court process.  There is a home inspection, and if you are a single parent, you will have to attend parenting classes.  It is a good move for the child and your sister.  It will keep your family together, instead of sending the child into a life of strangers and/or abuse.  it is good the child will be raised with relatives.

Approaching your sister about this, does she know?  Is she already in trouble with the child, and the adoption can prevent the state from taking the child.  Approach her carefully as you don't want her to run away with the baby. Ask for her assistance, maybe an open adoption if you are up to it.  An open adoption can set limits on the biological mother, and allow her visits, so she won't feel shut out of her child's life.

Answer 3

First of all, your sister obviously needs to be involved in this.  Have you talked to her about your concerns?  Does she agree?

Second, the baby's well-being is a major concern.  If the baby is being mistreated, then Child Protective Services needs to be involved too.

Answer 4

I can't offer any good advice but wanted to say good luck!

Answer 5

Well first of all are you, your mom or dad talking to her all the time. Because it's either gonna be her or the baby. It's either talking to your sister and watchin what you say she does to the baby or taking care of the baby.

1) if she's doing drugs bust her on it. She can go to rehab and do like a week in jail. And she can get her head straight its her with her boyfriend or her and her baby.

2) She will probally through a fit and get all defensive. Thinking you turned on her. But if it's whats best then she can learn to let it go.

I know what your going threw my sister was neglecting her baby and cps took him and gave him to my sister's dad and step mom. She can't go over to their house because then they will take him away. The grand parents have guardianship for him right now but they will have to go back to court. The baby is better off with them.

Answer 6

The biggest problem with a family member adopting the baby is that she will always be there trying to get it back and causing headaches. If the baby is not being well cared for it is kind of you to want to take it in, you might start out by doing it as a favor to see if she will come around and smell the roses....................good luck

Answer 7

You can ask for guardianship if they are not caring for the baby, but otherwise, unless a court finds them both unfit, that's the best you can do unless they are willing.

Answer 8

I feel that you should pray about it and see what God wants you to do. He has a plan and if you listen to him he will tell you what to do. If you need to adopt the child, then adopt it. Then again, some one without children may want to adopt the child as well.

All I know is that God is in control, whether we like it or not.

Personally, faith aside, I think you should adopt this child.

And if you ever need anyone to talk to my email is

[e-mail]

Answer 9

If it is in the best interest of the child's safety, go for it, you might have to prove that they are unfit, but it won't be hard, if they don't show interest in the child, get this documented, and see if they will surrender her. If they are so much into themselves, they might find this to be a blessing, because they won't have to be responsible.

We as families have to step up and care for our families, not let the government take them away. We have no control on what the caretakers do to these children. There are too many children with unfit parents and in dangerous situations.

God help you all, and bless that child with a loving family. She deserves it.

Answer 10

If your sister is willing then yes adoption is the best option.  I was adopted by my grandmother and then once my parents had their life straightened out I went back to them at 8 years old.  It was difficult to go back to my "real" parents at first but looking back everyone had my best interest at heart.  I would not change a thing.

Answer 11

It's very hard to do. The parents have to be declared "unfit parents" by the court.

You'll NEVER do it without a good attorney specializing in family law.

The best way to start is to meet with an attorney and discuss the situation. Most attorneys will give you free consultation.

Be prepared to pay A LOT of money to an attorney and the whole process will take years. Ask an attorney about temporary guardianship of the child first. It's easier to get then full adoption, but you'll be able to make all the decisions regarding this kid. Then you might get permanent guardianship, and then MAYBE adoption.

Sorry to disappoint you, but it is VERY, VERY hard to take a child from natural parents.

One more thing, if you can prove that the child is in danger with the parents, it will be easier to get temporary guardianship.    

If the child is really in danger right now, call Child Protective Agency.

All this is if the kid's parents object to adoption. If they agree, it's much easier, but still you'll need an attorney to do it right.

Answer 12

Adoption is a huge step.  Its means your sister and her boyfriend have to give up all their rights now and in the future.  My guess is that they won't agree to that.  What I would suggest is that during one of your sister's more "lucid" and caring moments, you ask her about consenting to an arrangement for care of the baby.  Approach her with what is in the best interest of her child - not telling her she is a terrible mother!  Maybe she is now - but will she continue to be? Will she someday shape up and want to raise her child herself?  If that is at all possible, she should have the opportunity and her baby should have the opportunity to be brought up with at least her mother if not her mother and father both.  Your arrangement could be just a simple notarized agreement, signed by all parties, that you all agree that the best interest of the baby would be for you and/or your parents to take responsibility for the baby until such time as they are able to do it themselves.  These types of agreements are really only binding for one year (although they may not know that).  If after one year, they still do not seem to want to come around - you could then petition the court for guardianship or adoption.  You would then have the agreement on your side and the fact that the child has lived with you and done well for that year.  Good luck to you all - but most of all - all my best to that little baby - who needs and deserves loving caregivers!

Answer 13

I think you should definitely do it. Think about the well being of your niece which should come before your sister since she doesn't seem to care.

Answer 14

Adoption is beautiful!  My parents adopted my sisters baby when she was only 16.  However, if your sister is not WILLING to give the baby up for adoption, you can't do it.  You can call social services to investigate and try to have the baby removed from her home and put under your care.  If she's not doing anything WRONG, though, that won't work either.  I'll assume that she is willing and wish you the best of luck!

Answer 15

I'm in the same situation, my sister is more concerned with getting tatoos than buying diapers. But there isn't much we can do i'm afriad. Not unless your sister willingly gives up the baby.

Answer 16

If you think the baby is being neglected or abused you can call child services on your sister.  They'll investigate, and if they decide the baby is at risk they would probably be willing to let the baby live with a relative until your sister gets her act together.  Of course, if they determine that there's something wrong with the relatives or their home they'll put the baby in foster care in a stranger's home instead.

Your sister's baby is not, as far as you've described things, up for adoption.  Chances are if the authorities investigate the first thing they'd try to do is get your sister to do what's right and take good care of her own baby.  Authorities try to leave babies with their mothers if at all possible.  Authorities would tell you, too, that they only intervene when a child is believed to be neglected or abused.  They are not allowed to intervene if someone just has a lifestyle others don't approve of.

Answer 17

How terrible for you to have to watch, the fact is, you cannot adopt this baby unless cps find something wrong with her parenting.

If they can call her unable, then you may be able.

Answer 18

heh

Answer 19

You can't just adopt a child because you think the parents aren't looking after it. You need to apply for custody of the child based on your concerns for their wellbeing. Even then you're going to have to go through a lot of c**p and court time. Is it really in the best interests of this child to cause all of that? Just how bad are the parents really? Why don't you approach them and offer to help out, not just attack them?

Answer 20

It is not that easy to take her child.  Even if she wants you to have it,  you will have to find out if the father is out of the picture.  If he still is,   his family has  the same rights as you do.  Also there will have to be home studies and background checks.on all involved.  That is for just to be the guardian.   .And if you do get it,  your sister is going to be looking over you shoulder forever.  It is not as easy as you might think

Answer 21

It won't be easy if your sister and her boy friend don't agree to give up the rights. They may not be taking proper care but if there is no document ion or CPS is not involved, it will be up to them to let you. You might start with asking them to let the baby stay with you or your folks on a permanent basis. Then perhaps go for guardianship.  With the baby not being around it will either free them up or make them realize what they are losing. At any rate, if the child is away from them for a while, contact a lawyer and take the steps needed to complete the adoption or ask the parents to give up rights after the child has lived away from them for a while

Answer 22

Adopt the baby. Especially if your sister is OK with it.

Its better if the baby is with you then it is with Department of Children and Familys.

Answer 23

Why not help your sister become the mother that you think she should be?  If you and your mother are talking about one of you raising the child, than the child cannot be in immediate danger, as you have taken no action as of yet to help the child.  You say that she is 'not taking good care' of the baby, what exactly does that mean?  Have you discussed this with your sister, does she know that you and your mother disapprove of how she is parenting her baby?

If the baby is in danger then call CPS.  They will put the child in temporary foster care while giving your sister parenting classes and helping her to become a more fit parent is a better life situation.  If CPS does not need to be involved than discuss your concerns with your sister and offer to help her take better care of the baby.

Kinship adoptions are very tough situations to navigate through.  If your mother were to adopt the baby, the grandmother would become the mother, the mother would become the sister, the aunt would become the sister to the child, and while all the relationships of individuals change when it comes to the child, they stay the same in relation to everyone else...it is TOUGH.  Kinship adoptions tend to split families, pitting members against one another as they choose sides between the adoptive side of the family, and the biological parents...its a mess for everyone involved, especially the child.

Help your sister out, or call CPS if you feel it is beyond giving a helping hand.  If CPS deems that the enviornment is not safe for the child to be returned to, than the case plan will change from reunification to adoption, and relatives who come forward offering to adopt are given first choice in most states. If and when the baby goes into state care is when you should notify the state that you would be interested in adoption (so they do not recruit for a home before hearing that you would be willing to raise the baby) and get your foster parenting license so that you are ready and able to take the child if the chance arises.

Good luck

Answer 24

Is the child in danger? Not being fed? Being abused? If any of this is happening you can contact Department of Human Services. They may remove the child from your sisters care and place in a foster home until your sister gets the help she needs to be a more productive mother. At the time DHS comes in you or your mom could make an attempt to adopt in the event your sister is proven to be an unfit mother.