NEVER tell people that you are trying to conceive!

Question

Is anyone else TTC and mentioned to friends (because they are always asking when) that you guys are thinking about having a baby. And then when you don't get pregnant and are going insane in the two week wait, they always say "oh, don't try, just let it happen" and then wanna tell you how easy it was for them when they werent trying.

Did you just want to smack them? Or is it just me?

I'm just a little stressed and wanted to see if people are in the same boat as me. :o) Thanks girls

Answer 1

most people are so ignorant that they think you can just get pregnant whenever, all you have to do is have s*x. there is no s*x education in this country. After all its a miracle that we are all here since you can only have a chance of getting pregnant like 2 days out of 28. And another thing is that they have no idea that most couples try for 2 years (thats the average according to my DR) My brother in law actually thinks girls can get pregnant when they are on their period, any day he'll be knocking some poor girl up :) im not babysitting!!

Answer 2

Oh I know exactly how u feel! I get asked all the time when we're gonna have kids. I do hair in my home so I get a constant flow of people asking me this. Yes I feel like I could smack them, or poke them with my scissors lol! It's very hard and frustrating. There are alot of ignorant people out there who don't realize that there are women in this world where pregnancy doesnt just happen. Good luck and baby dust to all!

Answer 3

YES! and i'm so mad at myself for even telling anyone besides my husband that we were "trying" because then everytime I go out with friends or family and have a drink I can feel them thinking: "well, she's obviously not pregnant".  I feel like by sharing, I put undue pressure on myself to get pregnant. At one point last summer I remember talking to my friend who had been trying for 9 months to get preggers that it would happen when it was supposed to, and now i want to smack myself for saying that because that is the last d**n thing I'd want to hear someone tell me right now.  It is stressful and that Two week wait is the worst. i'm currently taking some herbal supplments & prenatals, using an ovulation predictor kit which says i'm fertile right now.. and trying to think postive and stay calm. obviously i'm not that calm since it's the middle of the night and i'm on these message boards. But, it's good to have support and know that we are not alone.  Good luck to you, i'm getting pregnant this time, i must believe it is possible!  

Answer 4

Oh honey! I know how you feel!

I told people we were TTC when we first started. No one said anything for about 3 months b/c everyone, including us thought it would happen fast. After 3 months, we got the "I thought you guys were gonna have a baby?"  comments and questions. At 6-9 months TTC, I started getting really worried and would vent to people how worried and sad I was that it hadn't happened yet and people were telling me to "stop trying and it will happen". At 9 months we found out my hubby has a morphology problem with his sperm but that we can still get preggo on our own it just may take a lot more time than other couples. We told the family about his results and got "Oh, you wasted your time going to the doc, your just trying to hard and stressing to much, thats why its not happening"

Now here we are at 12 months TTC and when anyone else asks we tell them "We cant have kids so please don't ask us about it anymore" The facial expressions are priceless!

We are going to start Clomid in a few months, we are currently on a break right now. My doc is fully confident that we can conceive on our own but he is giving me Clomid as a boost. If I could go back I would not have told anyone about TTC.  

Answer 5

Although I understand your frustration, you shouldn't take it so personally. UNLESS you are hanging around some VERY cynical/mean people, I'm sure they're just making small talk. And how are they supposed to know you're struggling. If you let them know you are having a hard time, they may be a little more sensitive the next time it comes up. Give people a break - they have lives too, and sometimes they're just not thinking about yours. Good Luck to you anyway! =)

Answer 6

Girl its not just you, i feel just like you

Answer 7

I think it's amazing how insensitive and blase people can get about those who are TTC. It's not as though having kids is a given you know; they do time and effort to conceive. Even worse for me I think, are those who slather on the pity and say pithy things like 'It's ok, you're still young" and "Kids are hard work, you don't want them so soon (or at all)"... I mean, come ON. And yes, I do want to more than just smack them sometimes- tell you what, you bring the body bag(s) and I'll bring the shovel *winks*

Good Luck TTC, by the way! *blows baby dust*

Answer 8

That's exactly why I lie. :) I knew we were planning on trying over the summer, so when anyone asked, I told them we were thinking about trying in the fall or winter. That way if it took a while, no one would even realize and I wouldn't have to be bombarded with all the questions. Good luck.

Answer 9

well... yeah. that is why i won't tell it to anyone, because if someone would ask me... I would just punch him/her/whatever..

Answer 10

Yes I also know exactly how you feel. Its hard to just let it happen when you don't dont ovulate dont you think. Like the other person said sometimes it not just that easy for some people to get preggo.  But just keep PRAYING and hopefully it will happen . I have been ttc for 5 years and am still not pregnant. lots of baby dust to you

Answer 11

The first time we tried getting pregnant we told people and wished we hadn't. Not only were people bugging us for 2 months before we finally DID get pregnant - we miscarried before the 12 weeks so even though we had lost the baby people were still asking, "so, are you pregnant yet?". I can't tell you how many times I had to run to the bathroom in tears because a colleague didn't know we miscarried.

Next time we will tell no one.

Answer 12

Haha yea I'm with you on this one! Its already hard enough doing all the things WE have done a ton of research on and people tell us to "relax" It simply make me want to kick them directly in their nose.

Answer 13

OMG i am so0o0o in the same boat as u! Me and my man have been trying for almost a year now...(i was on the pill for 7 yrs) and once I finally told my gf's...THAT HAVE KIDS...they are like AWW YAY! Once I get my period and clearly am not pregnant,...i get the "oh it'll happen when it's suppose to happen" and just let it happen naturally without stressing bs! lmao Mind u...when BOTH of my best friends got pregnant it was not planned and I got the panicked hysterical crying phone calls! Now they are acting as though it was this beautiful thing! lol Oh and the worst is when u hear from people that so and so is pregnant and GUESS WHO'S PREGNANT?!?! UGGGGHHHH! I hate that! Don't tell me about everyone that's getting pregnant as me and my hubby have been trying! It kinda gets me jealous! lol

GOOD LUCK THOUGH!!!!!!! LMAO  

Answer 14

OMG YES!!!! Ladies, if you are currently TTC, do not tell anyone!! That is the biggest mistake I've made since I got married. Now, everywhere I go I have people asking me, "so is this the month?" or "When's it going to happen?". Then, this is normally followed by them telling me how they had s*x only ONE time when the ovulated and BAM!!! I've only been trying for two months (June and July). My period is 12 days late now and all I'm getting is a bunch of big, stupid fat negatives on all of my HPT's so I'm already frustrated...and then I still have people telling me to "quit stressing"....gah