Name change with adoption.?

Question

If you think it is wrong to change a baby's first and/or middle name after they are adopted, then do you also think it is wrong for the child to take on the adptive families last name?

Just wondering, I have noticiced some people have a strong oppinon about changing a childs birth name. Does this apply to the whole name or just part.

Answer 1

Under a certain age I see no problem in changing first and middle names and of course the child will have a different last name.  From age about 2 and up changing a name without the child agreeing to it can cause problems in regards to the first name not necessarily the middle.  If a child has spent 2 years being called one name then they might find it to confusing to be called by another name unless they were asked first.  Baby's though they don't know their fullnames so changing the fullname won't matter.

Answer 2

I wouldn't have wanted my "birth" name to be kept. Baby Girl wouldn't have worked for me.

My brother was named Jeremy, our aparents changed it.  I see him as a Jeremy, it suits him better than David, it is who he was meant to be.

I would love to see more APs incorporate ALL of their children's first names into their adoptive names. Not likely to happen but it would be nice all the same.

I want to add that I mostly think this should apply to the BC and OBC. My children all have hyphenated names but only use one last name.

Answer 3

Changing an adopted child's name is fine but retain his/her birth name is recommended in case the child wanted to know his/her parentage. Perhaps changing part of the name is fine as perhaps his/her parents might want to find child back and might be able to find their child by checking on the similarity and differences between their birth name and current name.

Answer 4

I think it is about what is right for the individual child and family.

If you know your child's bmom choose the name for a reason, or if it has a special meaning, you should take it in to considering your child's new name.

If your child has a name you just can't live with or is setting him up for reticule you shouldn't keep it just because it was his first name.

We did some thing different with all three of our children.

Our son's name was changed but his last name was kept as a second middle name because that is what his bdad wanted.

Our second oldest daughters first name became her middle name. Like her brother her name was kind of the name of an object not a name. I really did not like it. It sounded a lot like oldest's name. Only one letter different. Every one would get the names miked up and it drove the kids nuts. So much so that the judge got it all mixed up at the adoption hearing and said he sees why we were changing it. Her bmom said she did not have a name for her at her birth. Her grandmother suggested it. I do worry that she will be upset about it when she is older. We will tell her our reasoning and support her if she wants to change it.

Our youngest name was not changed. Her bmom wanted us to name her. She even put our last name on her birth certificate.

Our children's first mom says she is support of their name changes. She likes the idea of us naming our children.

Our friend allways had a name picked that she would like to use one day for her second son. When she had the opertunity to adopt her son his first mom gave him a name. The bfamily asked at the hospital what she would be changing it to. She told them the name she liked.  My friend could not change the name knowing it was lovingly picked out for him. Her choice became his second name.

It's not wrong to change a child's name it's personal choice.

Or parental choice.

Answer 5

Surname is fine - that is how they become a part of your family - that is the name everyone shares.

I would also think about leaving the child's last name as one of the middle names also - again - it's part of them.

Of course - if there are safety issues for the child - perhaps not - but certainly make sure you get a copy of the original birth certificate for the child - before the adoption takes place - as after the adoption is finalised - the birth certificate will be amended - and the original will be sealed forever from the adoptee (if you live in a sealed records state).

Answer 6

I adopted 2 children and they were 4 & 5 when they were adopted and so we didn't change their first names but asked if they wanted to change their middle name.  My son wanted to take my husband's middle name but my daughter wanted to keep hers like it was.  I think it nice especially if the child is getting a family name that has passed down so that the child feels like they are really accepted as part of your family.

Answer 7

I adopted 5 children as a single parent. I knew all the bio parents.  My first son was 5 days old and named by his bio mom and I changed it to what I wanted. She knew and approved of the name change. My other children, 3 girls and another boy were 3, 2, 2, & 10, months.  I kept their first names but changes their middle names and of course their last names. I gave them family middle names and they felt very special as we picked out their names together. They are all grown up and productive adults now. I don't know where the time has gone. I am enjoying my grandchildren - the next generation. I wouldn't have them without adoption. God Bless you all.

ellie

Answer 8

My adoption papers read Baby Girl birth last name, so I'm kinda glad my name was changed.

But, my birth certificate reads the name that my adoptive parents gave me. It always has.

Answer 9

I think it depends on the age... if you adopt the child as an infant then i would consider naming the child as what you want.. this will make them more of the family.. but if the child is old enough to know his/her name then i would leave it the same as it is... I would put my own last name for sure and for the middle name it depends again on the age.. if they are old enough to know their middle name then ask them if they would like to change it (like to have your middle name or your husbands) anything that makes them feel like "your child"... You are the one that is going to love them and take care of them and you are the one they are going to know as "mom & dad"... You are not trying to change them from who they are  you are trying to make them feel more like they are loved and belong to a family... Good luck and tons of blessings

Answer 10

Our child(ren) will have very loooooooong names, because we plan to leave their names intact, but add our own.  After some info that I've gotten on the Y!A board, here's the format I'm thinking we'll use:

(Original First Name)(Original Middle Name)(New First Name)(New Middle Name)(Original Last Name)(New Last Name)

So, if the child has a middle name (and assuming it's only one middle name), then they will end up with FOUR middle names.  We'll see if that pans out.  It might sound horrifyingly ridiculous, but who knows.  :-)