Narcassistic Personality Disorder??

Question

I think my mother has this.

She beat us as kids - severely and for no reason most of the time - other than we walked too slow etc.

She called us names, said she hated us, had an affair and a child from it, who only just found out at age 22 she had a different father.

She neglected us, WE did the washing, cooking, cleaning.

At age 10 it was my job to get up for the night time feeds of my new born sister!

And now, as a 34 year old (I have 5 other sisters) we all have issues with her and she thinks SHE NEVER DID ANYTHING WRONG.

She even plays the victim and acts like WE are b*****s for even being upset with her!

My sister thinks she may have narcassistic personality disorder. She has already been diagnosed as bi-polar (no surprise).

Just wondering if anyone can in a nut shell explain this disorder to me.

Answer 1

In a nut shell... I know it's you, fizzdude.  

Answer 2

So this is my specialty so ill give some advice.

The narcissist can think he seems grand, he must make you seem insignificant by comparison. This is why malignant narcissists act as though it would kill them to compliment you, to thank you for anything, to tell you they love you, to listen to you, to say they're sorry for something, to give you credit for being right about anything, to put their arm around you, to take an interest in anything you do . . . and let's just cut to the chase: they act like it would kill them give you one bit of gratification. They won't even look at you: they pay more attention to a fly on the wall.

narcissists are also expert con artists.

A specific behavior, such as being haughty, inconsiderate, or ignoring someone, can occur in widely varying contexts. So, it can be done for many reasons, not just narcissistic reasons. Nonetheless, there are few behaviors so unique to persons suffering from NPD that they should serve as red flags.

· puts on a conspicuous display of goodness and kindness  



· damages the images of most others  



· has a history of past upheavals  



· is hated for mysterious reasons by people close to them  



· exhibits unnatural and perplexing behavior — backwards reactions to things  



· is a control freak, trampling privacy/boundaries  



· is extremely self-absorbed  



· has a hostile reaction to attention and credit given others  



In short, malignant narcissists are predators who hunt easy prey to plunder them in one way or another, mainly for ego gratification. Because they have to feel greater than you, they are competing with you for every bit of it. Any you get, they view as rightly belonging to them. So, they gotta take it away.

believe me living with a person like this will destroy your life, i would consider, foster homes, or immediate family that can intervene ASAP.

I know because i lived with one for 15 years and it nearly killed me these people are so maticulous at getting what they want they will sacrifice anyone in there way to get it.

they are also very manipulative she probably has blamed you for most of your life that there is something actually wrong with you?

GET OUT these people have no medical cure

  

Answer 3

My sister did close to the same sort of things. She's 19 and not a mother but she wanted everyone to do everything her way and if it was not done exactly to her specifications, someone (me) would have h**l to pay. She has been diagnosed with bipolarity and is on medication for it and she has improved drastically, but she still has this issue.

The name "Narcissism" comes from Νάρκισσος (Narkissos), who was so absorbed in his own reflection in water that he died of thirst because whenever he leaned down to drink his beautiful reflection would fade away and become distorted. Someone who is narcissistic is self-absorbed, and it sounds like your mother does have this disorder.

Answer 4

I CAN tell you that I grew up in an uncannily similar family.  My oldest brother, my mother, and my adult daughter all have NPD.  The frightening thing about this disorder is that neither pharmaceuticals nor therapy seem to have much effect on it.  I was recently told that the individual with NPD is so convinced of their lack of culpability, that they would actually PASS A POLYGRAPH!  The lies and reality they have fashioned is as real to them as the truth is to you.  It is terrifying.  My mother was brutal.  Just a few years ago (I was 50 and she was 78),  we had a falling out.  It lasted about a year.  Finally, I believed that I should apologize (still not certain what for).  Nonetheless, I said to her:  "I am very sorry for whatever I may have done, as I am sure you are sorry for what you've done."  Her reply was:  "I have NEVER done ANYTHING in my life that would require an apology."  That blew my hair back.  Keep your distance because distance is the only thing that will assure your peace of mind. I have conferred with a number of mental health professionals.  Although they did NOT interview my family members, they concluded that it was most likely NPD.  Just Google it and view the symptoms.  Your mother may not exhibit all of them but may still have the disorder.

Can almost guarantee you that it is NOT bi-polar.  Bipolar disorder is characterized by extreme mood swings, hence the "hypo manic state" and the hyper manic state".

Answer 5

It could be bi-polar, but honestly it sounds like borderline personality disorder.  From your description narcassism doesn't fit.

Here is a run down of what BORDERLINE PD IS

A pervasive pattern of instability of interpersonal relationships, self-image, and affects, and marked impulsivity beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated BY FIVE (5) (or more) of the following:  

  1. frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment. Note: Do not include suicidal or self-mutilating behavior covered in Criterion 5.

  2. a pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation.

  3. identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self.

  4. impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g., spending, s*x, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating). Note: Do not include suicidal or self-mutilating behavior covered in Criterion 5.

  5. recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, or threats, or self-mutilating behavior

  6. affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood (e.g., intense episodic dysphoria, irritability, or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days).

  7. chronic feelings of emptiness

  8. inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g., frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights)

  9. transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms

Answer 6

Okay, in a nut shell, she sounds like my mother.  Your mother is crazy and like many bi-polar people, they believe nothing is their fault and they are always the f*cking victim.  Consider yourself lucky that you are thirty-four and are out of the house.  Living with a mentally-ill person (mother, to be precise) is a pain the the *ss.