Nasty Neighbour - anyone in similar situation?

Question

My neighbour has always been noisy - always shouting at her son, playing loud music, door slamming etc, but during daylight hours, we put up with it.

In around November we were woken by the mother of all screaming rows at 6am on a Sunday. This went on for 30minutes before my Fiance had to knock and politely ask if they could be a little quiet due to the time.

Since then it was evil looks whenever we were outside so we tried posting a "lets get on" letter = she practically kicked our front door in and screamed abuse at us.

Yesterday I was working in my garden at mid-day and all I got were comments such as "Alright for some people to make noise" and "Come inside, they'll only complain about us making a noise if we talk too loudly".

I'm not afraid to "Stand Up" to her, but if I'm really annoyed my mouth engages before my brain so to speak which'll make things 10000x worse.

So - anyone been in similar fix & how to solve? She is Council tenant, we own.

Answer 1

We can choose where we live, but cannot choose our neighbours - tenants or owners- makes no difference. Some of us are fortunate in this situation and others just have no luck. Try being a good neighbour particularly  by engaging your brain first.

Answer 2

You need to make the housing authority aware of whats going on, make a log of when things happen (if you can record it even better) then pass it on to them x

Answer 3

Contact your local council, they have procedures to deal with such nuisances.

Answer 4

I'm in exactly the same situation.

She doesn't work, and goes out on nights out, comes back at 3am, shouting, singing, plays music.  We went round and asked her to turn it down (I'm pregnant) and she just hurled abuse at us.

On another occasion we knocked on the wall when she was being rowdy, and she went absolutely nuts.  She hammered on the wall (with a hammer) and screamed and shouted like she was absolutely psychotic. We called the police, and when they turned up she was sat there watching TV and denied it all.

The next morning she poured chip fat oil on my car.

She is an absolute tramp.

She private rents, doesn't work, in her forties living on her own.

I've looked into ear plugs (which help drown out her voice but not the music), CCTV or webcam just in case she damages my car again. She's been reported to the council and received a letter, and they installed voice recording equipment in our home for 2 weeks. Unfortunately she was away for most of that time so we dodn't get anything.

Police won't help, we can't sell our house (not worth what we paid at the moment), council have kept the case open just in case they can catch her.

I've asked this qu on Yahoo, searched the Net and all sorts.

Everytime I hear a Glaswegian accent my blood runs cold, and I think the most evil thoughts about her.

I just hope she'll move out.

The best I can come up with is that one day my and your neighbours will die!

If you come up with anything, let me know.

Answer 5

eww. shes jealous. doesnt that drive you nuts?? grr. i dont have the same situation but can sympathise as neighbours further down from me are like that. i did finally ask my own next door neighbour wtf he was doing and he said he was sanding his floor boards. but hes a cool guy he just gets a bit carried away. he has no kids and single so its good, no fights just sanding. lol my sympathies. i think kids should come with volume control anyway. not having any until they come with this feature. ;)

potential option is have a bbq with drink and invite her over? booze can bury the hatchet. or make things worse. may help my neighbour or make yours worse. hmm.

offer to help her with her garden as a one off, or look after the kids etc confronting her is just going to get her back up. or if booze chills you out go talk to her drunk im always more talkative and friendly with my neighbours when drunk.  lol thats how i found out about the sanding ;)

Answer 6

You have tried reasoning with her, so the only thing left to do is keep a record of all the abuse, noise etc, if you can get video evidence all the better.  Contact your local housing authority with your evidence, and fingers crossed they should be able to help.

I have a horrible neighbour, she has threatened to hit my son, my daughter is terrified of her, she cuddles in close to me when we go past her house!  She throws rubbish on our garden, even when we are standing there!!!  We both own our houses, so not a lot we can do.  However she is really old, so hopefully she'll get put in a home soon.

Try the link below, it might help.

Good luck

Answer 7

Hahahaha we have exactly the same nabour except he a40 year old divorced guy... He parties and stuff all we did is phoned the police for privacy invasion and other stuff and he got a fine! since then hes been rather quite! We were sometimes woken up at 3 and 4 and 2 am! on weekdays and I have to go to school...

Just try the police and see what happens

Answer 8

7 steps to get rid of those neighbours:

1. Go to town

2. Find a gun shop

3. Buy the best sniper gun in store

4. Go home

5. Set up your ''arsenal'' on your balcony (if you have one)

6. Read the manual

7. Do what you have to do...

From own experience,

Unknown

Answer 9

Of course, violence is never desirable.  But if it comes to that then a woman should eschew fistwork and rely upon a flurry of roundhouse kicks and stomps in the Shaolin style of Kung Fu.  Women generally do better with kicks.  Start with a sidekick to the abdomen, snapping to a chin strike.  Then, a spinning reverse kick to the temple utilizing the heel.  That should do the trick.  Good luck and keep in touch.

Answer 10

I have a noisy, nasty neighbour but only when he's drunk - which is quite often. I've had to go round there several nights to tell him to quiet down, and once we called the police cos he was having a fight with a young lad at about 2 in the morning!

He won't even look at us now. He looks quite rough, but if he does step out of line then I'm just gonna open up a can of whup @ss!

Sorry ya having to put up with it. Its a horrible thing and can really spoil your life. I hope someone can offer some good advice for you!

Answer 11

I had a cousin with this similar situation.  Tried to approach them which only worsened things.  Let's face it, you have to live next to the person and the last thing you want is to have that "heavy feeling" when your in your own home.   Some people just are not going to change no matter how nice or mean you are to them.  

I wouldn't worry so much about selling the property.  The "new neighbors" may get along fine with her.  I could see that reporting it may cause you to have a paper trail.  Plus, probably won't change things either.

By the way...my cousin moved and has never been happier.

John

http://www.spotlightteees.com

Answer 12

You need to start making a log of all her transgressions, either making noise, or being abusive to you. Make a written diary, and if you have a camcorder, use that to record noise disturbances - even your camera phone might be good enough. You should notify the council of your intention to report this person, and note that you already have tried speaking to them and are obtaining evidence. They will probably send a team round to measure noise at some point.

I must commend you for your attitude, not everyone would have tried so hard to try and rebuilt a relationship. Good luck!

Answer 13

You will not win reasoning with this person. Congratulations for trying hard. Ignore her if you can.

If you can't ignore her, you need to carefully document all the occurrences that happen, writing everything down on paper, using camera evidence if possible, and recording any conversations you may have with her. If you think you are being harassed or threatened, report her to the police. They will not do much but it is then on record for future reference. Of course if you go down that route she is likely to become more difficult, and you may have to steel yourself for a period of harassment and bullying. Be prepared for this and resist any temptation to sink to her level. Be polite, cool, and retain your dignity when dealing with her. If she is rude and abusive, politely but firmly withdraw from the conversation.

These disputes can drag out for a long time before they are settled, and I would think hard before you follow this route. If she crosses the line into harassment or bullying though I would personally get the council and the police involved as soon as possible. I'll bet she has had problems before and may have been moved because of this. You may find the council more sympathetic than you expect.

Best of luck.

Answer 14

Trouble is I don't think you can change those sort of people.

Just shout 'chav' every time you see her.

Answer 15

OK, I had a similar problem, but I was a renter and the noisy (and disgusting) neighbour was the owner!

It's a common situation, and a couple of things I found that worked were:

~ Create a visual 'wall' between you and the neighbour, using hedging plants, quick growing if possible. Once it is established and six to eight foot high you will seriously feel much more 'separated' from her and will also have a sound barrier. Plus ~ you will have added value to your home. Because I was a renter I did this by establishing a garden in pots. It worked very well. You could also use wooden trellis with pretty flowering vines on it, but if you go this way buy the vines as established plants, otherwise they'll take a year or two to establish.

~ Insulate the windows facing her side of the house. You mightn't want to go to the expense of double glazing, but you CAN hang extra heavy curtains or 'sound blocking' blinds, or put up external blinds/window coverings which will block the sound. These also add value to your property should you decide to sell.

~ Create a wall of sound inside the house, such as having some gentle music playing near the windows when you want to have them open. Your ears will hear the first sound, and your neighbour's blather will recede into the background.

~ Teach yourself to tune out. This is hard to do, but whenever she starts, focus on something else ~ turn the tv up one notch, adjust the radio one notch ~ don't try to outshout her, but just concentrate on something else.

~ Don't get into dialogue with her. She sounds as if she could be a fruitcake, and she could just focus her rage on you.

Work to block her and focus her out of your life, and in a few months you won't notice her anymore, just like ugly wallpaper.

Best wishes :-)

Answer 16

I get up 6 am on a Sunday morning, it is normal for parents  now if she was swearing at her child loudly for half an hour i would have checked on her, however if she was just laying down the laws for her children i would have put up with it. she has to raise them regardless of the hour and who's listening. making a racket and knocking on your door can be reported to the police using the non-emergency number, call it every time she is confrontational and you must just ignore her from now on.

Answer 17

We had a similar problem when we bought an ex-council flat. Basically you can either try keeping a diary of all the incidents, complain to the council, and phone the police if it gets unbearable. You might get them ASBOed and eventually evicted, but you've got to ask yourself if it's really worth the hassle, and like you say it will cause problems when you sell the place, although as owners you definitely will have the council on your side. Might just be better to sell up while you can, or have you considered moving and renting your place out?

Answer 18

This is what happens when you buy council homes. You have to share the estate with "council estate plebs"

Sell your home and buy one on a private estate. People who live in private estates (as a rule) are usually civilised

Answer 19

when they have early morning and middle of the night rows like that, call the police and make a domestic violence complaint.

Answer 20

Get onto the council, they will get a warning and if they continue being anti-social they will be moved or evicted..

Keep a "Diary" of incidents

Time - date - nuisance

Answer 21

You have two alternatives to this problem and both are going to involve a lot of work ,and there will be two completely different outcomes.

1. try to create a feeling of Harmony with your neighbour ask her if she would like to go a coffee some time and try to get to know her a bit better this will break down the wall she has put up and the feeling of anxiety that has been created can be overcome gradually and that you may develop a feeling of each others problems and understanding.

2. all out war to have her evicted from her property by logging everything she does and video it happening over a set amount of time ,then submitting the evidence to the council for them to act....good luck

Answer 22

This happens all the time...just ignore her comments (I know it´s difficult but bite your tongue),you are far more intelligent than her...but if it gets to worse,try to contact the council and see if they can do something about it.

My parents had some very annoying neighbours,they even made really bad phone calls insulting them etc....she told the police and they checked on their calls.They were council tenents as well,and they were forced to leave the house after a year.Thank God !

Hope it gets better with you.