Nasty mother in law wants to see my kids while my husband is away Should I let her?-?

Question

My mother in law has never liked me. I think because my husband has kids from someone else and they are very close friends. She has gone out of her way to make sure that I know I am not good enough for her son(that I have been married to for 9 years). She and my father in law have also told me and shown that the ex's kids are their favorites. They also treat my kids (their grand kids) like c**p. They are mean to them and tell them bad things about me and my husband (their son). If my husband allowed our kids to go visit, they would visit the ex girlfriend WITH MY KIDS. My mother in law got physically abusive with my oldest daughter. I have not spoken to her since then. My husband recently enlisted in the ARMY and is at basic training. They want me to let them see the kids. My initial response is NO! Any advise?

Answer 1

No, No, No!

You need your husband with you for support when she sees the kids.

Answer 2

I wouldn't let them, myself.

Answer 3

Absolutely NOT! If she was physically abusive to your daughter once, what's stopping her from doing it again. For their safety you need to keep them far away from her.

Answer 4

h**l NO. You are the mother, you have all the right to decide who can see your kids or not. Trust your instinct!!!!

Answer 5

Continue your stance of protecting your children from their grandparents,. Under no circumstances should you allow them unsupervised visits with your children. They sound toxic. Your children will one day discover why you do not want them to see their grandparents, and one day they may make a decision to see them. In the meantime, stick to your guns.

Answer 6

not if they are going to act like that. If you decide to let them see the kids, it's on your terms and they must do what you ask. If they fail to following your guidelines, I would get the kids and leave. Meet in a public place where you can keep on eye on the kids and over hear what they are saying. You dont say how old the kids are but you might ask them if they even want to see them. If they say NO, listen to them and don't allow it. Grandparents don't have any rights to the grandkids if they are a danger to them either physically or emotionally

Answer 7

At first glance Reading the question I would have said "yes, she is their grandmother!", but after reading the additional details there would be no way I would allow that after all that has happened between you, your mother in law, and your kids. Especially the physical abuse of your oldest daughter.

Answer 8

h**l no dont let them see your kids if she physically abused your kids just tell the mother in law no i dont feel comfortable for my kids to be around or you can make it nicer

Answer 9

if grandma is physical then no way! does your husband have your back? he should be the man and put his parents in place! they are your kids and you make the call.(both of you) its too bad for the kids. a relationship with grandparents is important if its HEALTHY for the kids. if its not going to be healthy for the kids then its not that important to have a relationship with grandparents. when they are old enough to decide for themselves they will just raise them right! good luck! and thank your husband for keeping us free!  

Answer 10

No, of course not.

Answer 11

tell her that since your husband is gone you have less time and that you are unable to schedule a visit until his return

Answer 12

When I come up against truly nasty vicious people like that it brings out the worst in me and when they ask to see the kids I would say Sorry, not until (husband's name here) gets home. You can always see your favorite grand kids and you have told me over and over again my kids are not your favorites, so why would you want to see them now? Then refuse. s***w 'em. Life's too short to have cruel people in your life. And, for your children's sake, never let them be around grandparents who are mean to them...