Need Advice/support STD... Adults only please?

Question

I left a monogamous relationship of over 6 years 10 months ago.. it was long overdue. I made poor choices and take responsibility for that. I do however hold him responsible for his actions as well as he infected me with Herpes knowingly. He is a lying scumbag who when confronted with my diagnosis said - "whatever you gave it to me". Prior to him I was married for 5 years. Without getting into all the he said/she said garbage, he's ignorant and continues to be unsafe.

I recently discovered also that he whether knowingly or not infected me with what is probably genital warts/HPV as i've just developed my first signs of this.

Here in lies my problem... I'm mad at myself for trusting this guy all those years ago and making those choices. Worse is that 5 months ago I began dating a man who I've fallen madly in love with. Before you all go bashing me - I was immediately up front with him about my herpes. I gave him an open door to leave and he said "no way i'm leaving". We used protection for a few months and he came to me and said that he longer wanted to use protection and understood the risk. I take daily oral supressive valtrex. I've had very few outbreaks, maybe 2-4 since being diagnosed.

I've now got to tell this man about this. I'm terrified that with this new info I will soon find myself with a broken heart again. He has mentioned marriage frequently. I prayed for this man to come into my life and he's here now and I'm in tears afraid i'm going to lose him

Answer 1

Tell him now!  Tell him you just found out.  If you wait you will cement your fate by hiding the truth, which is much worse than telling hard truth.  One way you lose for sure. . . the right way you have a good chance he will work with you to get you well.

Sorry . . . some people's bad karma seems to rub off. . . .  

Answer 2

As you know...people don't like being lied to about the other's std status.  The longer you wait to tell him the harder it will be.  Do your research-hpv is extremely common.  

This man loves you..

Answer 3

Hun, I think this guy really loves you, and I believe if you tell him just the way you told us, you have nothing to worry about. Either way sweetie, you have to tell him. Best of luck. ;-)