Need Advice with a Four Year Old?

Question

I have a four year old who has been with his grandparents for the past three months. He spends the summer with them. Anyways, my son has a problem with his speech. It is a problem my whole family has dealt with. Anyways, they had him tested by the state of New York and they said that his mentally is of a young three year old. He has been seeing a speech therapist the whole summer. Which I think is great and I will make sure that he goes to a speech therapist because it has helped him greatly. My son has an Individual Education Plan (IEP) that will help him get to where he needs to be in is age group. Which I am okay with, what I am not okay with is that they sent him to a psychologist. They said that he feels guilty for everything that happens. One day he yelled at his grandmother and she told him to just calm down. Me I would have taken it another route. I have two questions can a four year old feel "guilty" and does anyone else think it is wrong that a four year old is seeing a psychologist? What should I do with this situation? I want his grandparents in his life but I honestly don't feel right on the "psychologist" part. My son is four not twenty-four. HELP PLEASE

Answer 1

Yes, try to take him to the specialist, it may be a childhood psychological issue instead of the problems you said. There's any bad or wrong thing if he sees a psychologist. Good luck

Answer 2

Hi feel bad for you but hey. psychologist well it shouldn't have gone this far .but hey they told you he feel guilty for what happens that came out of it which is good. the grandparents had him for three monthes. tell its gets hard even with every child sometime then according to you  It is a problem your whole family has dealt with. sometime we just need to take it easy oh its not a rare problem .age is age but when problem is a problem age sometime may not be a big factor. and realy come to I THINK ITS VERY WISE OF THE YOUNG KID OF THIS AGE TO FEEL GUILTY OF SOMETHING THATS NOT SO PLEASENT. i mean he IS SO YOUNG. sometime even older people don't admit they are wrong either too stubborn or not wise. so hey. so mean while tell him that he can say sorry sometime if he feel guilty and thank you for doing things for him. AND YOU DO THE SAME TO HIM ASK SOME TINY FAVORES LIKE PASS YOU TV REMOTES OR TINY THINGS LIKE THIS AND GIVE HIM HUG DON'T MAKE BIG DEAL OUT IT BUT STILL .nice of grandparents taking care of the kid.he only four get him grow out of it. as much we love our kids sometime every thing hurt us that hurt them. and this makes us weak. if  he understand things like ( guilty ) like 24. he might rather understand  some things like 24 too. BUT just don't show any thing just go with regular manners, looks like he does understand more then you think. which could be good thing .AND I AM NOT PROFESSIONAL  PERSON JUST SPEAKING AS PERSON WHO LIKE TO CARE. take it easy. and forgive me if i said anything you did not like. hope he will grow out of it soon. make him feel just a tiny gullty when he is just tiny bit according to his level instead of covering thinking it might hurt him. or he might think oh yes yes offcourse i am never wrong. and thank him for doing good things  or clap.not too much looks like he don't want to be treated like a kid when he is a kid .so just go little regular on him but just keep eyes on since he realy is not adult yet or old enough. don't treat him difrent . because of it since he does understand just little careful then you will be for anyother kid and don't show too much just some enough for him to know you care which you need and should too.ok good luck and forgive me if i said something you may found little rough.

Answer 3

Yeah, I think it is plausible that a 4 year old could feel guilty and I don't think that is a bad thing.

I don't see a problem with a psychologist at all.  Tons of kids go to them, and it doesn't mean that the child has issues.  Being that he didn't come back with a diagnosis indicates that he didn't need to go.  AND the cognitive portion of him mentally being 3 is his performance on that 1 given day, it is nothing to put weight into.  Also any child with a speech delay will skew those cognitive scores lower and that should be considered by any reputable specialist.  It sounds like they took him to a psychologist that isn't local to you, so you couldn't even follow up with the same one if you chose to have him seen again.

What I do have a problem with is the grandparents making unilateral decisions about your child.  It is not their decision.  They took him because he yelled?  That isn't an emergency at all.  They should have approached you about considering taking him to one.  I don't even think they were within their boundaries to ask you if they could take him.  Personally if my son is seeing a specialist I want to be aware of it, and I want to be there to see what is going on.  I would really lay down the boundaries for them.  If the grandparents choose to not abide by your decisions then they lose privileges.  I have been there with my mother and father in law, and yes they permanently lost privileges.