Need Advise PRONTO family stufffff?

Question

My sister always gets in touch with me when she needs me to intervene with problems with my mom and her.

My Mom is judgemental and she needs a shoulder to cry on and ear to listen and I do that all the time.

Her husband is an alchoholic and does not help in the home leaving her to tend after him like a a baby and shovel New England snow while he does nothing. He does not let her touch his money and she pays for all of everything. I stay out of her lifebut my mom isupset and does not like her husband so I listen.

When I needed her as my mom made some comment to me and I emailed my sister and wrote:

"Mom is now telling me how to run my life, I think she needs to get off the computer and email-----"

My sister exploded at me telling me I need to listen to my mother (Gosh she did not when my mom told her to divorce the loser).

I wrote her telling her I am not asking her to take sides- just I needed someone to listen to me.

She wrote me she is not listening furniture . she told me she has to tell me Mom is right. I told her I will not bother her for a shoulder and not to bother me either. I said we are all we have but it is up to you to hold onto a relationship or break it. She told me to listen to Mom and she was critical of me. I told her I was not looking for sides- just to be there for me as I was for her.

I said You did not listen to MOm when she told you to leave your husband. You came to me. I can see you are not there for me and its best we cool it. I did not talk to her a month. I have no desire to.

She is now emailing me with " Miss you lets talk". I am at peace and do not want to answer her but feel I must. What should I write?

Answer 1

I was a bit confused as to what was going on but still get an idea as to what it is that you are talking about.I write a basic and you can elaborate ok?

Dear _____,

I am happy to hear that you want to make contact.I have missed you too!I am sorry that we got upset at each other and I hate that we haven't spoken or seen each other for about a month.I feel so immature and hurt about it and it's also my fault that this happened.I want to solve this arguement once and for all.I can't wait to see you again but there is something that I would like to say first:

I wish that you would have been there for me like I had been there for you when you needed me the most.I treat you the way you treat me and I felt hurt and treated unfairly because I did not have a shoulder to cry on like you did on mine.I don't understand what the reason for that is but I forgive you if you forgive me for being a bit stubborn.I pray that we can make it through this situation soon.Maybe next time I need help things will be different.Ex.You will at least listen..you don't have to help me solve it if you don't want to but listening would do the half of making me feel better.Call me ok?We can have lunch together someplace special.Maybe an old hang out where we have a ton of good memories that we can remember while we dine lol = ).I hope to hear from you soon and I apologize for my part of the arguement again.Take care!Much love coming from my way!

Sincerly,

(your name)

p.s. (whatever else that you want to add.Make sure it's something cheerful.)