Need Help, I'm messed up

Question

A long time ago, a guy slept with my girlfriend. Things got out of hand, and I stalked him, and threatened his life, told all of my friends about him, and am bent on ruining his life. She was sleeping with 3 different guys at the time; but i can't help but to focus all of my anger on him. He emailed me one day, and apologized. But, I just want revenge. All I care about is money, and myself. I don't have an ounce of compassion. He's trying to better his life, and all i want to do is to make sure he dies lonely and poor. What can I do? I feel like I am an evil person, who doesn't deserve to live.

He's not the only person I did this too. There are others. You see, I was in a fraternity in College, and am part of a group of people that give each other business. I am also involved in some other illegal activities. Somewhere, deep inside, i feel like scum, i feel like i am dirty, all i ever wanted was for my mother to love me and show me some recognition. But, I make money to get her recognition. I didn't grow up with a lot, so, all i care about is money now. I feel like, I displace all my anger on other people, and am a bit sociopathic, because i really don't care about people. They are just tools to me.

I really need some help. What should I do?

Answer 1

Go talk to a psychiatrist. They may be able to help you vent your anger in a normal way. If you truly feel like you have no conscience, the sooner, the better.

Answer 2

I think you might need to reconcile with your mother, maybe that'll elevate some of the tension and bitterness your feeling. You'd probably want to seek out a counselor for that. And the money thing might be something your using to replace the love you claim your mother never shown towards you.You need to realize that money can't buy love. Its proven that some times materialistic people tend  to be more stressed out than others. And as far as that guy your stalking goes, I would stop if I were you before you go to jail. I think you might just be stalking him b/c you don't want to face your problems, but want to increase someone Else's, probably just to make you feel better.

Answer 3

I don't understand why you are stalking those men when it was your girlfriend who is causing you the problems. Why not just dump her and find a better girl that loves only you.

Answer 4

Anger management class, shrink, any person you can talk it out with. It would be helpful if you involve yourself in any activity you enjoy to redirect your anger into something positive. You remind me of the way my husband used to be. He paints when he feels mad.  

Answer 5

It sounds to me like you do care a lot about a number of things... you just don't know how to deal with them the right way. That's why you need help... not because you're such a bad person... but, because you have so many unresolved issues, and bad coping skills. The right kind of help (counseling) would probably help you immensely. I hope you will get the help you need soon, as it sounds to me that you've  wasted too much precious time already being miserable. At least you can identify your problems! That's more than a lot of people can do, so you're already half-way there. All you need is some guidance and understanding right now (something you've obviously not been able to do on your own). Once you come to a place where you can control your situations, rather than allow them to control you, you will be much happier and content in your life. I wish you  the best!

Answer 6

Get yourself to a counselor, a good, honest one, and quickly!  You need professional help.  You have to be ready to change, that is step number one - you have to forgive, both yourself and those around you, step two.  You recognize you need assistance, that is a giant step in your favor.  The road will be hard and long, don't give up.  You can get yourself out of this, but you need help, you can't do it alone.

Answer 7

If you know that you are doing wrong, it makes you feel like scum, then stop. YOU are in control of your thoughts and life. If you know there is wrong than you know there is right. Do what is right. Even if you loose everything. At least you can be happy. If you dont know how to define right I sugest you read the new testiment in the bible. Try an easy to read and understand version. Stop wasting your life ruining the lives of others. Cut the apron strings to mom. Live right.