Need advice about potty training...?

Question

My 3 and a half year old daughter keeps doing a poo on her pants..............

She will use the potty or the big toilet for doing a pee but i can't get her to use either of them for a poo.

I have tried everything from praise to bribery and nothing works.

She was even standing right next to her potty yesterday but still started to do it on her pants.

I don't understand why she keeps doing this no matter how many times i ask her if she needs the toilet.

Has anyone else had the same problem ??

Am i doing something wrong or am not being patient enough ?

It's been going on for a long time and i don't know what else to do ?

Help.

Answer 1

I found that "potty training" was not really a good word to describe what happens as you don't exactly train them.  You show them what to do and just wait for them to do it themselves.  You're doing everything right.  Perhaps just explain to your daughter that it doesn't feel very nice when you're dirty in your pants and wouldn't it be lovely to be wearing lovely clean pants all day.  Don't use those pull up things - they just confuse matters.  I'd have them banned if it were up to me.  Have you tried a reward chart?  For every day that she uses the potty for a poo, she gets a star on her chart.  Start with every day.  So at the end of the first day if she's got a star then she gets a treat - chocolate biscuit or trip to the park etc.  Then every week that she stays clean she gets a treat etc.  Explain that you can't take her anywhere nice if she's not going to use the toilet.  at 3 and a half she should be using the big toilet now instead of the potty anyway - perhaps it will make a difference when she feels like a big girl.  You can get a step and a little seat to go under the adult one till she gets used to it.

There's a pretty good "bear in the big blue house" episode about using the toilet which is great.  There's a book - toileteers I think it's called too if you can't find it on DVD.

Answer 2

My sis in law had one daughter like that and she did it until she was 10. Very embarassing both for her and the child I must say but things worked out eventually.

There was not a physical thing wrong and she was tested for mental. Turned out she was very bright but this one thing would just not come.

There isn't a lot you can do if you've had her tested so make things as easy on you both as possible until she decides to use the toilet for both.

Answer 3

You'll just have to stick at it i'm afraid. I think you are doing everything right.

Answer 4

Maybe she isnt sure when she is going p**p. I mean right before, she doesnt know until it is happening.

My 2 1/2 yr old daughter was doing both in her potty chair so well, but now has regressed and only does it very rarely.

Have you tried letting her run around without a diaper on, or panties or anything? Only if you dont think she will just go on the floor.

Sorry I couldnt be more help, I am learning all over again myself. Good Luck!

Answer 5

I wish i had the magic answer for you.  My oldest son had no problem with pooping, but had an issue with peeing.  That part was easy.  Then my baby came around.  I think he was almost four before he got the 'hint' that you p**p in the toilet and not your pants.  I would keep him in the really thick undies at home and only put a pull up on him if we were going somewhere.  Most of the time we stayed home though.  I would then have him  help me clean him up afterwards.  And I would put the p**p from his undies in the toilet and tell him "this is where it goes, not in your underwear." I thought he was going to be 15 before he learned. LOL! But one day, it was like magic and he went.  

Good luck! I hope she gets the hang of it for your sake! LOL

Answer 6

some babies hate to give away things maybe your daughter hates when you flash the toilet she things you are getting red of things that belongs to her try not to flash the toilet in front of her.

Answer 7

my 4 1/2 year old daughter had this problem forever! she started potty training at 2 like most kids and it was like she would be perfectly fine for a few months, and then for a few months she would be pooping in her pants. on and off it happened, right up until she was 4. i called the doctor and asked about this and he told me 3 things.

1) children sometimes feel like they have no control in their lives and there are 2 things that we cannot force them to do - eat and p**p. if a child feels especially like they need some control in their life, he or she might try to control one of those areas. in this case, if mommy says, "go p**p in the toilet or else...." the problem will only get worse. the solution would be to give the child choices in as many other areas as possible. which undies do you want to wear today? pink or yellow? what do you want for lunch today PBJ or bologna? eventually they will feel less controlled and the phase will pass.

2) i used to spend hours in the bathroom with my daughter yelling at her "just go p**p!" and i would promise her a trip to the playground, or an ice cream cone if she would just do it in the toilet. i was spending so much time paying attention to her and not to my other daughter. not pooping was an attention getter for her. so my dr. said just ignore it. obviously just change her when she messes her pants, and a simple "next time use the potty honey" is all that needs to be said. if you pay no attention to the p**p issues, and lots of attention to other things like the pretty picture she drew, or how nicely she shared a toy, she will realize that she's not getting any more attention by not pooping so she'll move on and do it properly. my dr explained it more as "a toddler/preschooler doesnt care as much about negative and positive attention as she does about attention vs. no attention."

3) the last little thing he said was to make sure she has a good diet because sometimes if a BM is painful, it will set a child off for a few months. we eat lots of raisins in my house haha.

once i heard these things we had success in my house! the hardest bit was ignoring her "accidents" because i would be so mad! i knew she could do it and was choosing not to. but i ignored it and it went away. now she's 4 1/2 and she has no accidents, all day and all night.

good luck to you!!

Answer 8

It's really tough- I know. You need to figure out what motivates her. Does the feel of it on her bottom really bother her? If so- take away the training pants.  it is messy for a short time, but works for some kids.

Next, make her responsible for clean up.  Show her that if she goes in the potty theres no mess to clean, but if she goes elsewhere she has a whole lot to clean up.

Try a reward system- has to be something she really wants. With my daughter, at age 3,  it was a mini M&M  from the jar I kept in the medicine cabinet (we did not give her any other kind of candy so this was huge!) and a happy song and dance.

It's frustrating but she will catch on- the most important thing is  stay positive about the whole thing- and not to put too much pressure on her.

Answer 9

tell her everytime she goes poo she can go to hate store and pick out a smalll toy.  make it a fun game...about thirty min or so after she eats race her to the potty let her win and have her sit there until she goes

Answer 10

this is a hard 1- i feel ur stress and remember what i went tro like it was yesterday as my 1st daughter was the same. i bought my daughter a potty book, it was something she was only allowed to read on her potty and it was all about molly not liking soggy botties! u see some children r scared to poo into a hole, i dont know y but thats what i was told by my health visitor at the time and if i made a distraction so she didnt have to think about it and stress about it things would come naturally and after lots of patience and lots of praise it worked.

i know its easy writtten down but its extremely hard putting it into practice

hope this helps

and loads of luck to u x*x

Answer 11

some kids just dont take to the loo or there potty, she will do it in her own time! dont try and force it though.

take her with u when you go to the loo, maybe get her to choose so knickers that has her fave cartoon charachter on so she wont want to ruin them but mainly jus leave her to it. shel do it when shes ready.

Answer 12

I would be firm with her when she does it in her pants- make her know that you are displeased.

With my son, we sat him on his potty to watch tv so he was settled and comfortable.  Give her lots of praise and make a huge fuss of her when she does it in her potty.

If you can pin point her "toilet time" then you can have her fav show on, potty in place and rewards to hand.

Good luck!

Answer 13

my daughter wouldn't use a potty, only toilet but usually by 18 months old they should not be pooing in the nappy/pants and by 2 should be into pants but all kids are different.