Need advice before I make a mistake?

Question

Hi, I have been married for almost 2 years and we have been together for almost 4. We have a 10 mo. old son. My problem is is that I have an ex of mine that I stopped talking to for a while and recently started talking to a few months ago. I think I still have feelings for him. He tells me all the time that he made a mistake letting me go and that he still loves me. I have driven by his house a few times just to say hi and nothing has happened. I stay in my car and don't get out. I am tempted to kiss him, but I leave after 5 mins so that I don't give into temptation. I do love my husband, and I know he can take care of me. I just don't know if i'm in love with him anymore. My ex lives with his friends parents and doesn't make that much. I don't know what I'm suppose to do I'm so confused and feel so guilty about my feelings. What should I do?

Answer 1

It is very common for married women to think they have feelings for someone else. I know you love your husband and he loves you. You know that he has been there for you and your son too. Talk to your husband about doing more stuff together so you don't loose the spark...And quit going by your exes house. That will make it into a major mess.Don't mess up what you have....

~best of luck~

Answer 2

You are married. Stop talking to the ex. Tell the ex to stop contacting you. Unless you break up your current family you shouldn't even be thinking about your ex. Most of all stop seeing him. Think about your child and your husband. He deserves your loyalty and respect. You are inches away from having an affair. As a person who has been cheated on, it would kill him just to know you've talked to him. You say you love your husband, make an effort to make that relationship grow. Talking to your ex will only undermine your marriage and family.

Answer 3

Do you really dig your ex, or is it just the idea of someone different? Stay away from him until you decide the path your marriage should be on. How would you like your husband visiting one of his exes...wishing he could kiss her (or more)?

Don't do something you wouldn't want done to you. Your ex is your ex for a reason, and doesn't sound like he's got good prospects at the moment. Whether you stick with your marriage or not, your ex doesn't sound like a good potential partner until he gets on his feet and is successfully supporting himself.

In the mean time, consider couples counseling to see if you and your husband can get things back on track...or if perhaps you just aren't a good match anymore and parting ways would be best for both. Your ex should have ZERO influence on that issue though.

Answer 4

"""He tells me all the time that he made a mistake letting me go and that he still loves me.'''

what makes u so sure he will not make that same mistake again.Then where would you be.Don't ruin your marriage and life for your ex and mr x.

Answer 5

First off you never talk to an ex they always say S**t like that. OK now you think you dont love your husband any more cause you thinking about another man think about wat your husband can and does do for you that your ex cant. Plus you and your husband have build a life together and have a child dont mess up a good thing. OHHHHH an one other thing stop going to your exs house. If your husband was doing it even if you doing it you would be so dam mad and upset and some times temptation is hard to fight watch keep going to his house use will start doing things that you shouldnt be. Well good luck and hoped i helped.  

Answer 6

Look leave the ex alone and tell him to leave you alone.  He is an ex for a reason.  Put the effort that you are doing for your ex into your relationship.  Your ex is trying to ruin your marriage and  put your son through a hard time.

Tell him goodbye, you are married and that is that.

Answer 7

Don't destroy your family.  Stay with your husband and let go of your past.

Answer 8

You don't need advice, you know the right thing to do, what you're looking for is a way around it, and for someone to tell you it's okay to cheat.

Answer 9

You sound sexually frustrated!

Get over it!

You love your husband, and he can

financially take care of you and your son!

Find a new s*x toy and enjoy it with your

husband!!

Answer 10

If you want to be loyal to your husband, you'll cut off contact with the ex. The less you see of him or think of him, the less temptation there will be.  

Answer 11

thats wrong dude, really wrong. try to stay with ur hubby, for the kids sake, but dont make urself miserable.  

Answer 12

exactly! like vika said, forget about your ex and your past! think about the future that lies ahead of you with your hubby and son

Answer 13

Follow your heart and give it time. If you remain loyal and can keep a strict friendship with your ex than only time will tell which decision you should make. Consider all the possibilites. You dont want a man that cant care for you, but you dont want to stay with your husband if your not going to be happy.

Answer 14

keep the ex out of your life. if you want to leave your husband, then leave, but its very unwise to have an additional influence like an "ex".

it will cloud your perception and give you fantastical ideas. if you leave your husband on your own then later find you still want the ex in your life, fine.

Answer 15

What you should do is get away from your ex.  You are behaving as though you are a single person, as though you still get to make choices among men.  But that's not true any more.  You are married now.  You have made your choice for the rest of your life.  Behave accordingly.

Answer 16

Your ex is insecure and missing what he had with you, so you look good to him at the moment.  That's the reason he's coming on so strong.  A man with any sense of self-worth or honor wouldn't be doing that to someone he knew was in a stable relationship.

You're tempted, and that's understandable, but you really need to cut off all contact with this person and devote yourself to the one you love now.  Just say, "Hey, we had some great times and it's been fun reminiscing, but we need to let it go and move on with our respective lives".

Answer 17

you are confused and you miss the options that you used to have. your ex is going to be a problem if you continue this. you are more tempting to him becuz you are not available to him and it's a challenge. what man doesn't like a challenge? if you didn't work before you two will def not work now. don't throw your life into disarray over a fling. leave him in the past. there's a reason that you moved on and continue to remind yourself why and avoid him. your husband will not forgive you if he finds out and then you'll realize that it was a bad move.

Answer 18

You are playing with fire. It is only a matter of time before you do something you will regret. There is a reason why he is your ex. End it completely or you will throw everything away over wishful thinking.  

Answer 19

Figure out what your feelings are and whom they are with.  Then go from there.

Answer 20

Stop talking to the ex and grow up. You have a family now. Playtime is over.  

Answer 21

You may not like my advice but here goes. You are married, you took vows to love, honor and cherish... or if you changed your vows something to that degree,  you made a commitment to your husband. This meant that you have a monogamous relationship, physically as well as emotionally. Take those vows seriously, you should not have started talking to the ex in the first place. It should have nothing to do with who makes the most money or security. I feel badly for your husband in this. What if he were talking to his ex? What do you have to offer him monetarily to keep him? Wouldn't you want him to stay because of love, his vows and the sanctity of marriage?  

Answer 22

Stay with your husband....think of your child -----> HE is the MOST important man in your life at the moment !!! Forget about your ex...

Answer 23

WE ALL HAVE THOSE KIND OF FEELINGS ITS JUST THAT PPL DON'T  TALK ABOUT IT THAT MUCH BUT TRUST ME IF YOU LEAVE YOUR HUSBAND YOU'LL BE SORRY

ITS JUST THAT YOUR BORED JUST TRY TO THINK OF THE THINGS YOU FEEL IN LOVE WITH YOUR HUSBAND FOR THE THING THAT ONLY HE DOES WHAT MAKES HIM DIFFERENT

AND TRY TO SPICE THINGS UP IN THE BEDROOM THAT ALWAYS HELPS

SO YEAH RECOGNISE THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN LOVE AND LUST

AND I HOPE YOUR MARRIAGE LAST AND PROSPERS

LATERS AND GOOD LUCK.

Answer 24

Cut off all contact with the ex NOW.  All this driving by his house and leaving before you give in and kiss him - come on, you are just playing with fire, and you know it.  Only a matter of time before you get burnt.  Think of the vows you took and whether you want to make your child another statistic - another kid coming from a broken home.  Put the past behind you and concentrate your efforts on making your marriage work.